DEAR BELLA: My husband’s obsession with his tablet is ruining our relationship

Dear Bella,

I can’t seem to get my husband off his tablet. I don’t know what is so important about this device.

He comes home during the evening and the first thing he engages with is that bloody computer.

He eats with it on and then once he showers, he is with it again. It is almost like he is married to the thing.

Sometimes I would be waiting for him to come to bed and way past 11pm this device is on. He is on YouTube, Netflix, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

This device is competing with me. It is taking too much of my man’s time.

When I voice my concerns, he says if I would rather that he be outside there with another woman but it’s almost like he is, because his body is at home but his mind is on the world wide web.

It’s silly to end my marriage because of something like that but the loneliness is killing me.

I may as well find something to distract me and Bella, believe me, it won’t be a device. It will be in human form.

 

Sick of Social

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

Hello Sick of Social,

 

It seems that your husband indeed has another wife. And I didn’t mean that as anything funny. This device has obviously taken possession of your husband and this matter must be addressed.

So how do you combat the tug-of-war between technology and being present? Rules.

I know, no one likes rules, and it’s no more fun to follow them than it is to suggest them, but technology, and social media in particular, are too seductive for some people to use without rules — at least not without their relationships eroding.

I’m not suggesting you be some kind of strict social media police, but if your relationship is as loving and respectful, then your husband should be open and receptive to a conversation about how you feel when he prioritizes his device over you.

And if that doesn’t work then instead of sitting around to wait for him to get off his device and come to bed then maybe you can find something to do that you love, to pass the time. Plugging out the internet box is another idea.

You can also find activities at home that you can do together. Watch a movie, play a game of cards…even playing a video game together — whatever it is you enjoy as a couple, start doing it together regularly (and suggest turning your phones on “do not disturb” or airplane mode during that time).

To find a device in a ‘human form’ isn’t the best advice. Although if you pretend to have one, it may catch his attention.

 

Best of luck

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9 Comments

  1. click here
    March 4, 2021

    We men need a free up. sometimes the women think all they have to do is just be there and case closed, he must give her attention. nope. The woman these days dont even know how to waw their man. to grab and hold his attention. If a cell phone or a tv pr a rum in a bar more appealing than her, well women have a problem they need to address themselves. Look inward. Get a make over, learn some new tricks, cook something new. That is why SOME man does go for them side pieces, the main not doing it.

  2. our Sisserou laying Eggs
    March 2, 2021

    I think the problem might be with the woman. not trying to sound misogynistic, but, there’s a possibility why he’s not interested with you is due to the fact that you probably seem too boring to him. Marriages always go through ups and downs. So falling in and out of love is quite normal. Are you always nagging him? please stop. are you not physically fit? go to a gym, and watch your diet. is there something wrong with your cooking? get a cooking class. do you talk too much when he’s with his friends? or act too clingy? stop. change a hairstyle, get a new hobby. start reading a book. do something different. catch his attention. in a marriage, one should always think on his/her feet. improvise. and always remember. stay classy.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
    • Frank N Stein
      March 4, 2021

      Sisserou why does it always have to be the woman’s fault? Couldn’t it be that HE is boring to her thats why she cant inspire him? Sometimes men do not know how to excite their wives and the relationship turns into “duty” then the woman is blamed. If a man knows how to excite a woman she will be dribbling and always ready for him. We have seen men who have it all at home but cant keep quiet because men have a different nature to women. It is easier for a woman to focus on one man whereas men always want to taste something different so stop blaming every failure on women. The man also has a communication problem since he cant even tell his wife where she is going wrong. She seem to have communicated to him for a while thats why she has now turned to Bella.

  3. Watching
    March 2, 2021

    But bella you posted this already smh or do you always rotate your letters all the time..I commented on this before

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 4
    • Mandy
      March 2, 2021

      So you actually think is one wife alone that have this issue? Well hush because I have a problem with my husband always going and drink rum by the bar on the port. I have a friend whose husband always on his cell.
      I believe some people come on here just to be negative. Maybe you should stop commenting.
      Anyway I dont agree with Bella advice. I think the couple needs counselling. I think the man is probably bored. To chose social media instead of your wife signals something more.

  4. Bwa-Banday
    March 2, 2021

    Woman you may be the problem that is driving the man to social media for prostate cleansing :mrgreen: :mrgreen: . Look deep inside and evaluate what you are doing just in case a LOT of improvement are needed. I can say that most Dcan women are too old school in the bedroom so the men turn to social media to get their groove on. Believe me, a LOT of or as we would say a PARCHAY Dcan man have their social media ladies that make them happier than the ones at home 8) :wink: . Prostates shall get emptied!

    So while you in the bedroom he out there or in the toilet getting his social media groove :wink: :wink: :mrgreen: on. Let me remind you in this day and age most guys you see dump women for others began the relationship on social media. Take heed, getting his groove on via social media can be very very pleasing. So tie your waist and get busy instead on complaining. I think at this stage he would care less if you roll out. His needs can be met via social media choke-in the S**t

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 6
  5. Hinges
    March 2, 2021

    The advice given will not work. Once someone is deep into an electronic device like that they become a prisoner to it unable to break free. Unplugging the “internet box” will in fact cause a problem and it’s very easy for him to plug it back. It is obvious that his main concern is his tablet/computer. What the wife needs to do is in fact find something or someone to appreciate her company… Most probably someone!

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 7
  6. Amarossa
    March 2, 2021

    The tablet is not the issue, its just a result of a larger issue within the marriage. Your husband is most likely bored or turned off by you. Check yourself. Are you overweight? Is your breath/v-jayjay smelling bad?
    If you have answered no to these questions, it’s maybe he’s attracted to men, not you.
    Because trust me, even an overweight woman, once she got skills in the bedroom, a man would ne er be on his tablet all night.
    My 2 cents.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 1
    • Sensational
      March 3, 2021

      :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D i weak!!!

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