I can’t seem to get my husband off his tablet. I don’t know what is so important about this device.
He comes home during the evening and the first thing he engages with is that bloody computer.
He eats with it on and then once he showers, he is with it again. It is almost like he is married to the thing.
Sometimes I would be waiting for him to come to bed and way past 11pm this device is on. He is on YouTube, Netflix, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
This device is competing with me. It is taking too much of my man’s time.
When I voice my concerns, he says if I would rather that he be outside there with another woman but it’s almost like he is, because his body is at home but his mind is on the world wide web.
It’s silly to end my marriage because of something like that but the loneliness is killing me.
I may as well find something to distract me and Bella, believe me, it won’t be a device. It will be in human form.
Sick of Social
Hello Sick of Social,
It seems that your husband indeed has another wife. And I didn’t mean that as anything funny. This device has obviously taken possession of your husband and this matter must be addressed.
So how do you combat the tug-of-war between technology and being present? Rules.
I know, no one likes rules, and it’s no more fun to follow them than it is to suggest them, but technology, and social media in particular, are too seductive for some people to use without rules — at least not without their relationships eroding.
I’m not suggesting you be some kind of strict social media police, but if your relationship is as loving and respectful, then your husband should be open and receptive to a conversation about how you feel when he prioritizes his device over you.
And if that doesn’t work then instead of sitting around to wait for him to get off his device and come to bed then maybe you can find something to do that you love, to pass the time. Plugging out the internet box is another idea.
You can also find activities at home that you can do together. Watch a movie, play a game of cards…even playing a video game together — whatever it is you enjoy as a couple, start doing it together regularly (and suggest turning your phones on “do not disturb” or airplane mode during that time).
To find a device in a ‘human form’ isn’t the best advice. Although if you pretend to have one, it may catch his attention.
Best of luck