DEAR BELLA: My minister lover has fallen out of love with me

Dear BellaEDITOR’S NOTE: After a hiatus of about two years, DNO’s popular column “Dear Bella” is back. The column will be published every Wednesday.

Dear Bella

I am in a situation where It feels like I’m caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. The thing is I’m in love with a minister. We met about a year ago in a casual setting and we hit it off. I have been having secret rendezvous with him and stealing love on the side makes everything very exciting.
However, over the past couple of weeks, he seems to be acting strange. He seldom wants to hang out and he only comes over at wee hours of the morning. He stopped taking care of me financially the way he uses to and he hardly messages. I think he’s fallen out of love with me. What should I do? Please give me your advice.

Dear Hurt,

Hmmmm… Let’s see. Sometimes we bring things upon ourselves. I am pretty sure you are not the only one this minister is seeing. I am in no way indicating that this man is incapable of loving you, but most often than not, their “love” comes with all kinds of attachments.

Stealing love on the side is nothing to be boastful about. Love should be given freely. It shouldn’t be a secret or stolen.

Anytime a woman finds herself in a situation where her love has to be “hush hush” then she needs to rethink her position. It is clear that this man is no longer interested in what he once had with you. Face the music and move on. The next time you fall in love please; for your sake ensure that it’s the real thing and not just some love affair that ends up with you being hurt.

Chances are he’s probably doing the same thing with someone else. You’re better off without him. Girlfriend kick him to the curb.


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    October 31, 2016

    That Minister sinister… mista finish with her!This is LUST not LOVE!

    You’re NOT in a relationship, he supports you financially, you give him your body, that’s borderline prostitution!

    He got what he wanted, you got what you was getting now you want more… according to Tina Turner, whats love got to do with it?

  2. Rev. Katold Kabout, DD
    October 20, 2016

    I take it that the woman is seeing a priest? A minister of the church?

    This is appalling! She must stop immediately and confess her sins to the nearest priest and, of course, repent copiously.

  3. October 20, 2016

    The fact that these rendezvous were “secret” and the love is “stolen” shows that one of you is married, and
    maybe both. It also shows that you know your relationship with this man is wrong (illegal) or you would not be using words like “secret” and “stolen”.

    You should know this kind of man could not be trusted. He is in fact LIKELY to drop you and move on. By not using common sense you have created your own problem.

    Is he a genuine minister of religion? Even if he has a church he is not a servant of God. He is a rogue and should be reported to his bishop or overseer unless his “church” is independent – one that is not accountable to anybody.

    You say he no longer does anything for you financially. What :?: He was giving you money for these encounters :?: Woman, this makes you a prostitute :!:

    I encourage you to sever all connections with this man. Don’t contact or communicate with him. If he contacts you tell him it is over.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

    • Odinn
      November 2, 2016

      The minister can surely find a biblical justification for that behavior. I am sure of that and if he prays hard enough he will be forgiven. When he loses interest, he can move on to another God-fearing soul (must be rather good looking female) in the congregation and get her to undress while he quotes the holy scripture.

  4. Workit
    October 20, 2016

    Well thata what the ministers take poor people money to do…when a woman allows herself to uneducated she may always end up like a piece of foot cloth for men to use and abuse.. Most women in Dominica dont work.. And looking for handouts from these ministers.. Its a shame

    • October 20, 2016

      “…the ministers take poor peoples money…”

      Many ministers give money to the poor. They also give their time freely to assist people in need.

      If a pastor’s church is affluent enough to pay him a good salary he is hopefully properly paid. But I personally know pastors with small congregations that cannot pay the pastor enough to support his family. The pastor will work part time or even full time at a regular job to make ends meet, and in some cases his wife works.

      I have pastored small churches where I have had to work. My wife and I have both had to work in some places. I have also pastored larger churches where they paid me more than I would have ever expected and I was almost ashamed to accept it from them. We go where we are needed and do our best for the people. The rest is between the people and the Lord.

      What you have said is very unkind. :cry:

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill

      • buggzy
        November 2, 2016

        Man you pastors i have no faith in you guys.. sir you all are the same set of pastors who sit their and say nothing when the governement continue to damage the fabric of this country. it is you people who sit their and say nothing and support this government of lies ,deception, abuse of power, wickedness and evil. You people that call yourself pastors on that island will pay for it in the end.. most of you all are not real pastors some of your heart are filed with animosity and greed.

  5. Sour
    October 20, 2016

    Girl so you was stealing love and having secret rendezvous for free. As zandoli said you thought you was special. He is a minister, so you should have made him help you to get house, land and car before he wepenay. I am sure if you had done so you would not be crying to Bella. Better luck next time.

  6. Jenn
    October 20, 2016

    Face the facts honey you were just a piece of a that’s not exciting to hit anymore. Find your own.

  7. Young D
    October 20, 2016

    lol, s is real in this here decade. you see the problem is you fail to realize what is happening. the wallet would open cuz the legs do. At some point he got tired and it seems, unfortunately, on to the next.

  8. Real possie
    October 19, 2016

    That’s just a case of improper motive. LOL.

  9. Informant
    October 19, 2016

    Dno just want to start back their column with a bang so they made up that dam story. That sounding so.fake

    • October 21, 2016

      Some people don’t believe there is a real Bella. They think the DNO staff take turns writing the column.

      This is because they can’t imagine such sick people. They read one of these stories and tell themselves “Impossible! No life gets that warped.” Or they say “Nobody would be that stupid.”

      But others say “Even if some of the letters are fiction they are not unrealistic. Somewhere there are real people actually struggling with the same problems.”

      I agree with the latter. To me Bella is a window on a sin sick world. When I reply I am writing for somebody out there who has such a problem even if it is not the one who wrote the letter.

      All these twisted, broken, and festering lives are the results of sin: disobedience to the word of God. If people would surrender to Christ and trust what He did for them on the cross to put their sins away they would be healed and made every wit whole. Piece by piece God would put their lives back together.

      • October 21, 2016


        The Bible says:

        “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6)

        “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love towards us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6-8)

        “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

        On the cross Christ paid the price for each one of us. But YOU must believe He did it for You!

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  10. sweet
    October 19, 2016

    The fact that its a minister and you’re one of the sides — which one? fry plantain, corn, fries, string beans — already says a lot about you…Shouldve known that the only gold you could dig was a sea bath, kfc, some Shakes and two mastiff when im on my way.

  11. October 19, 2016

    Beffla Laga! Come back Home, i`ll leave the light on for you, at Laudat!!!

  12. Valerie
    October 19, 2016

    There’s no such thing as stealing love .
    Love is a gift that’s freely given to a special someone the heart desires . Love represents honesty and trust so the mere fact he had to “SNEAK” out at times to see you should signal a red flag. I believe his desire for you had more to do with the flesh than the affairs of the heart . We live snd we learn. Love but don’t allow yourself to be used and don’t allow your heart to be abused .
    He doesn’t deserve you , trust the Lord to place that right someone in your life .

  13. Dominican
    October 19, 2016

    Side chicks too damn like to complain stupes

  14. Markaberry
    October 19, 2016

    Girl the man just wanted to put a couple of shots on you. he wepenay now so its on to the next according to swizz beats. Most of these ministers are married and looking for a fun toy on the side. you have served your purpose with your secret rendezvous and enjoyed the benefits of a little pay. Now move on. :) :) :-D

  15. TINA
    October 19, 2016


  16. Peace
    October 19, 2016

    Hurt – secret rendezvous are really exciting. Truth be told, I had two back in the days. :-P
    The thing is, they are nothing more than a good time and folks (grown folks) need to see it as just that. In my case, I had to cut them off (no: I wasn’t seeing them at the same time) because they started getting possessive and kept trying to play the part of boyfriend when they were not. I was young and was not about to settle down. Feelings got hurt. They’ve moved on

    So, if you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t have a secret lover. Let your man profess you publicly. If it’s a fling, then learn and play by the rules. No scene, no chack, no hard feeling.

    • Shameless
      October 19, 2016

      Best advice ever! 8) . Majority of the married people I know in Dca have had a little “stolen love” on the side. Yeah some will cal me crazy but believe me I have all my good head. Just ask Skerro :mrgreen:

      Grown folks do grown people things so even if you love the person you seeing “on the side” don’t fall in love because eventually someone will move on. Everybody need love sometime so even if you have to steal it, use it and let it go until you need it again 8) . After all, its NOT yours.

      Always Assertive!

    • Jenn
      October 20, 2016

      She’s a booty call nothing more

  17. kisses
    October 19, 2016

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  18. October 19, 2016

    Every preacher is a fraud, and religion is mythology. Wake up.

    • October 20, 2016

      Such a foolish statement :!:

      Christianity has lasted for 2,000 years and spread to every nation. It is growing on every inhabited continent. This is because the gospel (the message of Christianity) satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart and the good works of Christianity meets man’s natural needs like nothing else can do.

      Christian churches have sent laborers, teachers, doctors, nurses, and other professionals to the ends of the earth to make life better for countless people. They have built orphanages, schools, clinics, and hospitals. They fed the hungry, dug wells to provide clean drinking water, and rescued many thousands of children, girls, and women from the sex trade.

      If this is the work of frauds and the power of mythology BRING IT ON :!: But of course such is not the case.

      To learn what the gospel IS read 1 Corinthians 15:1-4.

      To learn what the gospel can DO read Romans 1:16, and 1 Corinthians 5:17.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

      • October 20, 2016

        The last line. This should be 2 Corinthians 5:17.

  19. Lang Mama
    October 19, 2016

    But Bella the woman must steal love on the side when her lawyer husband too busy lying and trying to deceive a people. While the hubby there defending the minister institution the minister horning the hubby

    • Polls Archive
      October 20, 2016

      I must be slow. I don’t know why I thought it was a religious minister at first. 8-O 8-O

    • WOOSH
      October 20, 2016

      You made my day!!!

  20. zandoli
    October 19, 2016

    Bella, I see you took my advice and enrolled in a refresher course last weekend. :-D

    I like your response. That woman was just a booty call and when the man goes bored with her and her dependency, he dumped her. I am surprised she thought she was special.

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