DEAR BELLA: “Small size” hinders love life

Dear BellaEDITOR’S NOTE: After a hiatus of about two years, DNO’s popular column “Dear Bella” is back. The column will be published every Wednesday.

Dear Bella,
I am a 29-year-old man and I am virgin. I am smart, have a degree and I work at a top business place in Roseau. I can also say that I am handsome.

Women come around me and before we get to second base I freak out because of the size of my private part. I get the feeling that they may laugh because it’s not exactly the biggest thing there is and I am sure it may disappoint them.

There is this one girl that I really like and I broke up with her. I told her I wasn’t in love with her. That was a huge lie. I love her but I figure I would rather lose her love than to be embarrassed because she would not be satisfied. I need your advice.

Freaking out


Dear Freaking out,

Where I do begin. This one cracked me up, I must admit, but based on what you’re saying it is a real problem for you. There’s no rule that every man should be huge. Some of the best pleasure women have had had nothing to do with the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean – if you get what I mean.

I think you are over reacting. I’m pretty sure it cannot be that small. Be brave. If a woman truly loves you she will accept the package no matter the size. Besides, there are many other things people can do to fulfil their sexual desires before the actual act comes into play. Be yourself. Be strong. Have confidence in yourself. Best of luck.

Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at news@dominicanewsonline.com. Dear Bella is published on Wednesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.

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59 Comments

  1. February 9, 2017

    I like sakway gwo Boudeh comment. Lmao

  2. downhill
    February 7, 2017

    Yes most of dem will choose de bigger one because it looks more impressive I guess,jus like a man wud choose de girl with bigget breasts.but dat doesn’t mean de bigger one is better

  3. Rastasayrastaseemissionforselahsee
    December 13, 2016

    Bella,

    If someone comes to u for help that’s not the way to start a response please be careful,how can you say it cracked u up? be more professional remember u are dealing with people’s feelings here.

  4. Kenisha
    October 19, 2016

    Dear Freaking Out,

    Have you watched ATL Plastics? On the first episode there was a man with a 3 inch dong and he tried to get it enlarged. The Doctor said there was nothing they could do for him. He decided to embrace what god gave him and made a rap song about it. I think there is such a thing a too small but if she loves you, she will embrace all of you. Like someone says there are other way you can bring her to pleasure. Use your imagination and check out Preserved Desires on Amazon. It’s a small ebook but the male character in the book made his wife cum many time without penetration.

  5. Workit
    October 15, 2016

    Boi doe worry boss…. work dem tings.. Set of woman in D.A mouth they have.. Just the other day i make one rune with her panty.. Mek sure u put them in a barkaz and go deeeep… Let them feel it.. Specially them lil gyals that dus be up and down playing macho dere..

  6. quit it
    October 13, 2016

    This guy should just stop watching porn. A few ‘over average sized guys’ is not the general reality. Porn messes up your expectations, and in reality you may be more average than you think.

  7. LifeandDeath
    October 13, 2016

    Youngster I’ll give you some advice and hopefully you’ll become more confident as you get older..7 out of Ten women prefer average sized male bits..and truth is also most men are just average..so you are not an exception if you are between 5&6 inches erected…the 7 and 9 inches are XL and most women prefer the 5&6 as they will tell you it’s a better fit, not painful and they tend to enjoy the intercourse more..
    But quite apart from size, affection and real love making is a great way of satisfying a woman..some women really enjoy good love making and that you can learn and improve..build your confidence and put yourself up front and center more often because longer you wait, worse it will be..

    Try!!

  8. TINA
    October 13, 2016

    I love this new approach. I think the problem is not a serious as the guy puts it. And if i was Bella i would LMAO. Bella ain’t no robot. Besides the country is too hard to be all straight faced. Bella aint no shrink. If you all don’t want honest advice don’t write Bella. Me self have a problem and if i ever tell Bella she might faint so i leaving well alone. Anyway looking forward to Wednesday. Bella is the new POWER since the Starz finale ended.

  9. FED UP
    October 13, 2016

    Sorry bud – size does matter!

  10. Proud Dominica
    October 13, 2016

    I sympathize with the guy as he seem to have low self esteem or lack confidence. He should feel proud of himself that he is a virgin at that age, this is very rare these days even among young ladies. My advice to him is seek to create friendship among the opposite sex, go out, engage in fun activities in other words, “date”and eventually you will bring out the best in you that one or even more than one will develop a personal liking for you that could lead to a solid relationship. In that way your foundation will be more stable. Too often folks jump into relationships without taking time to know each other and they end up in chaos. I am one who believes in the biblical principles of marriage but let’s face it many fall into temptation. However, I don’t believe as you meet a woman you should try to get into her panties or as a woman meets a man she should desire to get into his boxers. My 2c!

  11. Tika
    October 13, 2016

    My darling….. Don’t worry yourself too much about that. What’s there for you there for you! Please don’t force it. What ever your size may be, the woman who gives you the love that you deserve will love every bit of you! No negativity. Express yourself, experience life. I mean you’re not the first and you definitely won’t be the last in this but don’t hold back yourself especially for this. That girl you’re in love with, you didn’t have to lie to her but rather be honest. I’m sure the feeling was mutual and she wouldn’t have a problem with you. Spice up your sex life, make love, do things to crave each other. Honestly, it doesn’t have to be big to please a lady. When it’s big, it can be painful and the sex is no fun. Be happy with your size. You never know, you may just be able to give the woman the best sex! Good Luck in your endeavors. Don’t be afraid!

  12. ti nom
    October 13, 2016

    garcon, bwe bwa bande….that is a natural remedy. famn pa ka lage ou apres sa.. :lol: :lol: 8) :mrgreen: if you dont believe im sure some of the female can attest to that on here…. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

  13. febrese
    October 13, 2016

    Bella Bella, I love your beginning. this article is about truth, hurt and fun. and this guy is way too paranoid. I don’t have size per say but i sure my count is over 300 and some were repeated offenders if you get what i’m saying.. yes size do matter at times because some women believe if you don’t damage their pancreas you are not a man.

    But bro go easy, put off the light like JUMBO.. and look for a thick woman they tend to be tighter because the fat pushes the vaginal canal together and you have to actually make way.. hehehehehe

  14. lollipophead.com
    October 12, 2016

    ayyyy back with it again bella :-P
    looking forward to next wednesday :lol:

  15. Beloved
    October 12, 2016

    Im joining the choir as well . The way you started your response was very unprofessional . Plz try to be more sympathetic and considerste to other people’s pain and feeling . What you say to a person can either strengthen them or break their spirit . Think before responding and be more considerate

  16. UDOHREADYET
    October 12, 2016

    Bro women loving and pleasuring other women yet neither of them have a big tole.

    Like Bella said love making isn’t only about penetration and even if you have something big or small its all relative, just depends on how you use it while in the act.

    If you cannot accept anyone’s advice and still think you have an issue, get a penis pump to make it big like Austin Powers or date a girl with a small ting that will match your ding a ling!

  17. Shameless
    October 12, 2016

    True pipe-fitters does not really care about the size of the pipe but the connection point 8) . Quit being a woos and start laying pipe accordingly. You will be surprised how small pipe can handle big jobs. Take a deep breath, slow down, check the fitting area and lay pipe as necessary. I am sure someone will be happy when the job is done 8) :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    Always Assertive! :mrgreen:

    • anon
      October 13, 2016

      o lord “lay pipe as necessary” i dyyyyimnnnnggg

  18. Mother of Dragons
    October 12, 2016

    It cracked you up Bella? Come on now. How do you know that it ” cannot be that small’. Don’t you have an editor looking over your work. Terrible start to this article. There is such a phenomenon as a micro penis actually. Do your research and have a bit of empathy.

    Young man, a woman will appreciate you putting in the work to please her, rather than just the act of coitus itself. Play to your strengths. Foreplay should be your forte. Someone out there will be willing to work with you. Don’t be afraid to explore yourself and the other person

  19. October 12, 2016

    My my my,Bella you were on long leave ;I thought by know you would educate yourself in the mean time…A man is shouting high over the hills of his miss-fortune concerning his small manhood and the best start in your encouragement is “your cracked me” why the heck did you get such a hood phrase from? professionalism does not have any thing to do with such a comment due to the subject above..A man is in pain this is what it is all about…

  20. Iamanidiot
    October 12, 2016

    Actually be careful what you wish for.
    I consider myself to be on the “larger part of the scale” and because of situations I actually wished that I could climb a few knots down the larder.
    I say this to say…it’s myth that women are looking for a ‘baseball bat’, communicate and you should be fine.

  21. October 12, 2016

    Not funny. But in case you want a complete make over. It`s my understanding, they work on them in china, if the funds are available. There is some merrit to your story, keep on keeping on. Pray you will meet your true Partner. We wish you well.

  22. October 12, 2016

    someone is asking for advise and the first thing u do after hearing their problem is say that it cracked u up??? that\’s unprofessional…

    will and come again.

    anyway my boy get some self confidence, take it slow. if she truly loves you she will appreciate every bit of you big small or inbetween

  23. Maria
    October 12, 2016

    But where i be there nuh? Mr forget about the animal on the stone in the river? What is it called again? Somebody help me!!! Tahtay?

  24. zandoli
    October 12, 2016

    Bella
    I thought you would taken a refresher course in the two years you were away. You start your advice by being “cracked up”? That is no way to boost someone’s confidence.

  25. October 12, 2016

    This is not the type of problem I usually respond to but I can offer you Biblical counsel that will help if it is accepted.

    You are a single 29 year old man. It is normal for you to desire a romantic relationship with a woman. It would be appropriate to form a boyfriend – girlfriend relationship with a young lady you think could be a good wife. In my country this is called “going steady.” In my grandparents day it was called ”courtship”.

    The purpose of this time together is to see if you have the same beliefs, values, and goals in life. To discuss children, things like discipline, family life, and getting along with in-laws.

    These are the things you should be working on. This is not a time to fret about the size of your penis. Sex belongs in marriage. Sex between two single people is a sin that degrades both parties. The Bible calls it ”fornication”. Please read 1 Corinthians 6:9,10 and verse 18.

    • October 12, 2016

      Continued:

      The physical aspects of marriage pertaining to sexual intercourse and pregnancy can be best discussed with your doctor. However, I can assure you there is nothing a husband and wife in a loving caring
      marriage cannot work out between them.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Evangelist. (Pastoral Counsellor Certificate)

    • zandoli
      October 12, 2016

      “Sex belongs in marriage”. I hope you practice what you preach and you also preach it to your fellow pastors.

    • Help!!!!
      October 17, 2016

      Dr. Hill, as you profess to be a man of the cloth. May I ask you why the bible (KJV) has changed so dramatically? This is stressing me out and is destroying my sex life.

      Apparently, now according the bible, Jesus was not crucified, but was hanged on a tree (Acts. 5.30) ! Furthermore, the AKJV refers to bottles, highways, aliens and planets??????? now?

      Also the Lord’s Prayer is changed. We don’t forgive trespasses anymore, but ‘debts’????? The ‘lion no longer ‘lies with the lamb’ but the ‘wolf’ does? Also in the KJV there are references to ‘piss’??? https://truthfarmer.com/2016/06/27/list-of-mandela-effectquantum-effect-scriptures/? Also: 1 Samuel. 25.22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that
      pisseth against the wall.

      Some are saying that this is because of the Mandela effect which is changing our world rapidly.

      This is stressing me out and contributing to a nil sex drive…

      • October 20, 2016

        Your “comment” is sheer rubbish from beginning to end.

        The King James Version of the Bible is the beloved Bible of the British world and has ben since it was published in 1611 A.D. Nothing has been changed. It is not difficult to understand if you are sufficiently educated to read and know the manner of speaking in that day.

        Your statements are not accurate and amount to mockery.

        Your kind of writing does not enhance DNO. It will not make people want to read this column.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  26. October 12, 2016

    partner my wood not huge ….. so I using my head , mouth , fingers , toes , leg ………. to pull it on people…………………… go their an enjoy yourself 8) have no fear….

    • Danziger
      October 12, 2016

      A loving woman will make you forget the size when you will reach au 7 th, sky and even ask for more. Bonne chance.

  27. Jumbo
    October 12, 2016

    For those of you who think that a big size is good, reflect on my story.

    I am 31 and have an 14 inch slong. its girth is 4 inches. I did not disclose this information to my fiance and last week, when we first had sex for the first time, thankfully it was in the darkness, as I had not had it for more than 3 years, I was quite excited.

    The activity lasted for around 3 minutes during which time, I ejaculated profusely. It turns out that she was seriously damaged by the penetration (no anal was involved) and I now have a law suit on my hands for battery.

    Being large is not as good as you think it is.

    • Shameless
      October 12, 2016

      Barva, barva, brave according to my lucian partner. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

      Always assertive! :twisted:

    • zandoli
      October 12, 2016

      Is your name Donald Trump. Only he makes up so many stories.

    • Black Magic
      October 12, 2016

      :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :lol: :lol:

    • October 20, 2016

      If your story is true you are just another fornicator in a large fornicating population who has created your own unique problem. Sorry it landed you in court. There are usually better way to solve such mishaps.

      Please read 1 Corinthians 6:9 -11, and verse 18.

      Like so many others you need to be delivered from this vice. It is a sin that warps your personality and robs you of your better judgment.

      God is able and willing to forgive and deliver all who repent. You must believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay the penalty for your sins and rose again the third day to show that God had accepted that sacrifice on your behalf. Please read 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, and Romans 1:16.

      The Bible declares:

      “… … the blood of Jesus Christ (God’s) Son cleanseth us from ALL sin.” (1 John 1:7)

      “… Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, …” (Acts 16:31)

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  28. Brenda
    October 12, 2016

    I have no idea why this cracked you up. This wasn’t meant to be funny. Please, in the future do not start your advice to anyone with serious concerns that way.

    Anyway, he needs to have a little bit more confidence, and also give the women a bit more credit. He is getting caught up in this sex driven society unfortunately. After the sex then what? He seems to have so much to give don’t sell your self short.

    • Polls Archive
      October 12, 2016

      IKR!

      If this is the same person who responds to the Dear Willie columns in St. Lucia, then I’m not surprised at the insensitivity.

      To the young man: If the young lady you like seems a bit adventurous to you, probably you can introduce a B.O.B. to her. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) a.k.a. vibrator/dildo…. :wink: :wink:

  29. LawieBawie
    October 12, 2016

    I don’t care what anyone says…..I know that women like it big. If a guy with a small one and a guy with a large one stand naked side by side and you put a line of women to vote on which one they want, the majority of women are going to choose the large one and that’s a fact.

    • Jumbo
      October 12, 2016

      If women like it big, why as so many Dominican men in happy relationships with their girlfriends? What you are saying is contrary to real life in Dominica.

      • LawieBawie
        October 13, 2016

        Lol. Are you implying that Dominican men have small ones?

  30. hmmmm
    October 12, 2016

    Honestly, there are men who are well endowed and they never pleasure a woman properly…..it is really how you use what you have, rather than the size of it.

    • Aye
      October 12, 2016

      they say is about “THE MOTION IN THE OCEAN’ papa

    • John Longley
      October 12, 2016

      The last time I pleasured a woman was then I took my clothes off when we were in bed. She looked at my thing and couldn\’t stop laughing. Yes, it is big – 12.5 inches and very thick. But she just could not stop laughing. She laughed so much that, I think she urinated which was uncomfortable for both of us.

      She said I was a man donkey and should be eating grass. This was very hurtful and we broke up without having any sex.

      I haven\’t had sex for more than 5 years.

      • zandoli
        October 12, 2016

        John
        Now that was really funny.
        Go on my boy, enjoy eating your grass!!

  31. Maria
    October 12, 2016

    Back with a bang i must say, Looking forward to next Wednesday.

  32. Lang Mama
    October 12, 2016

    But Bella a guy by the name of …….has the same problem and is a Vet that helping him out.

  33. Sakway Gwo Boudeh
    October 12, 2016

    Stop being a b***, man up and do your ting. big man like you have job n ting n still Virgin? Boy organise yourself eh! marghee!

    • Aye
      October 12, 2016

      i checking that eh. hahaha :lol:

    • Brenda
      October 12, 2016

      There is nothing wrong with being a 29 year old virgin.

      • jodi
        October 12, 2016

        Nothing wrong his wife will have all of him ! He’s using his head not his tail!

  34. Blueprints
    October 12, 2016

    While you’re insecure about one thing…. ever thought your partner has her own insecurities??? not smart enough, not beautiful enough, not creative enough, lazy, cant cook, snores, small tittiess like seriously no one is perfect.. if she acts like she isn’t crazy about you or she lost interest then fine!!! but if she is why mess up something good… it was kind of childish and immature to break your own heart so to speak cause who knows she might have stayed and you two could have been good together… never judge by your insecurities focus on how the other person treats you cause even if they cover up one day some days they will slip up and show their true colors…

    A small penis is not the end of the world… but dont have a small penis and still be an A**H***

    • jodi
      October 12, 2016

      This should not crack you up as a professional because there’s no reason to. I understand this person and exactly what he mean. I would like to say to this young man you are not Alone there are many more like you. In my teenage years I met someone in this same situation we were both single. A few years later he got married to someone he fell in love with and they have three beaudoctortiful kids and grand kids now. At no time must you feel embarassed because you were created that way for a reason .Speak to your doctor and he will advise you what to do. Wish I was your doctor :)

      • jodi
        October 12, 2016

        Typo error . “Three beautiful kids”

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