I am about to become engaged and married to a woman that has cheated on me once.
I forgave her and we have moved on since. I also cheated on her during our relationship however after she confessed to cheating it stopped immediately.
The sex is great for me in the relationship but most of the time she is not satisfied and this worries me a lot. I believe that even if we get married she will eventually cheat on me.
We have discussed my sexual incompetency many times and she has assured me that she loves me and we can work it out. Should I believe her Bella?
Sometimes I do not trust her because she comes from work late and when she does we usually do not have sex. Her vaginal elasticity varies from time to time and I wonder if she is cheating and making up for my inadequacies. I want to get married to her because I love her and she loves me. We do everything else well together.
Help me Bella.
Dominican Fool in Love
Dear Dominican Fool in Love,
Apparently there are some matters of insecurity that has surfaced here. The roots of you insecurity appears to be your sexual incompetency but this should not be the end of the world. There are many forms of sexual therapy that should take care of that and you should explore the different possibilities.
You two need to keep the line of communication open. If she said that she loves you and can work things out, believe her and work on it. It makes no sense in starting the marriage in a atmosphere where you two don’t trust each other.
You two have cheated on each other, yes but forget that. That is the past. Move on. Look to the future. Work on it.
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at email@example.com. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.