“Mad sick head nuh good”

Dear Bella: I know I am going to be scolded for this but I am 17 years old and for the past months I have been talking to and occasionally seeing this guy who is 24. He has a girlfriend or shall I say a ‘main ting’ while has me, and I’m pretty sure he has other girls as his “side ting”.

My problem is while we’ve been talking he seemed to be a really cool person and it was only then when I started to have feelings for him, he told me he had a girlfriend, whom I’ve known all my life. He’s getting twins for another girl whom he doesn’t care about; he claims to love his girlfriend but wants to be with me.

We recently met up and had a ‘session’ but after it was over I felt used, and I’ve been feeling that way for a while now. I’ve been telling myself that I need to stop talking to him, but everytime I see him the feelings I have for him keep coming back. I know that a guy like him is just looking for one thing from a girl like me, please give me some advice on how to forget about him and move on with my life!

Need Advice

Dear Need Advice: First thing I have to say is “mad, sick, head nuh good”. Miss, if you “know that a guy like him is just looking for one thing from a girl” like you, why do you need any advice from me? You’ve hit the nail on the head. It is clear the guy is a womaniser. He is a sweet talker and a cooperative guy, and that’s his net to haul in the girls.

I believe you should end this relationship now or else you’ll be one of his plugged side waste.


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  1. Anonymous
    July 2, 2013

    Need Advice: Your letter was posted over three years ago. By now it is probably a thing of the past. Unfortunately, you are not the only one with such a problem, so here goes.

    First, this man is seven years older than you. Is this because he has a problem relating to women in his own age group? Or is it because he has a thing for younger girls? If it’s because he is attracted to younger girls (when he can get one) you should know this is a tendency that will stay with him during his life unless God delivers him. Remember you yourself are getting older. Some day you will look old to him and his eyes will be wondering!

    Second, he is even now sexually involved with several other women. I don’t like to judge but this so speaks for itself. He is a bad man! (a) Not the kind of man you could trust. (b) Not the kind of man you would be proud to introduce as your husband. (c) Not the kind of man you would want to be the father of your children: What kind of example would he be to a son? You couldn’t even trust a man like this around a daughter!

    Third, we draw to us the kind of person we are ourselves. Clean living respectable people meet and marry clean living respectable people. It is not too late. You CAN become this kind of person. If you do you have an excellent chance of finding Mr. Right, and having a terrific marriage! But I think you know you have some work to do on yourself! The good news is you still have time to turn your life around.

    Fourth, I advise you to begin immediately. Get this womanizer – this serial fornicator – out of your life once and for all, and do it now!

    Fifth, begin to lay a new foundation. I invite you to visit my website http://www.livinghopeministries.ca and click onto the EAGLE COURSE. It can be studied from the screen or copied absolutely free. The first lesson will explain how you can receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and begin a new life. If you follow the next 11 lessons they will lead you on a journey beyond anything you can now imagine if you will just DO and put into practice what you read.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

    • IamHis
      July 7, 2013

      I agree. Amen.

  2. January 3, 2012

    Well you should feel used ..you young teenage girls are too fast to grow up it’s all about sex and man for u guys..i Hope u actually finished hight school cuz u write like a 10 yr old “He’s gettig twins for another girl” what the hell is that?..Enjoy your young life cuz once it’s gone you don’t get it back.

  3. Cookie
    June 22, 2010

    Well said Bella…you want advice to forget about him STD's… just incase you're just some dumb teen Sexual Transmitted Diseases…you sure he has other girls on de side so you settling for being a man ting on de side..you must really have low self esteem…at your age try to keep focus on your education and building a great future for yourself before you end up pregnant and lost.

  4. Mz Kittie
    March 22, 2010

    r u an a***** or do u have ur head so far up mister a** u not seeing he using u..u make me feel ashamed to be a woman.

  5. madhead
    March 18, 2010

    wat the f**k. sweetie pie. your telling this guy to masterbate. you suck. you know wat, have sex all u can but dont get AIDS cuz all ur gonna do then is jork.

  6. March 9, 2010

    well , you are young, you should stop seeing this guy, he will get you no where. you should invest your time in things that will bring u good in the future, your school work and all. this guy is playing you, the fact he has a stable relationship wth another woman who is not you, alone should have u put him down. he played you, your fell for it, now you know the truth, leave him and move on ^^, you will someday find someone who deserves you :)

  7. sweetie pie
    March 9, 2010

    im 36ys maried last time i had sex walast year november 23 aa and it doh troublin me and tired of sex all u children doh giving it a brake u just 17 aa go study ur book yeah and make ur ten fingers ur friend they will not play u lol u will play them stupes

    • trixxi 101
      June 21, 2011

      lol u wel swef where u be der

  8. madhead
    March 8, 2010

    ok.so youre a guy who is in love with a guy. man thats sick. NO GAYS

  9. child
    March 8, 2010

    if you feel used then thats what it is .USED.

  10. Anonymous
    March 8, 2010

    boi look deyba de, d girl actin like she na have a brain, i mean come on when d belly big den she’ll wake up

  11. Sweetie
    March 8, 2010

    Whoaaaaaaaaaaa mamsel doe easy na boi…….hmmmm girly u dead wrong u do right feel used, mr have twins wit another u say wii….have u on the side……and got his “main ting” yes i i applaud mr……cuz allu too stupid…..falling for a guy like him….lemme tell u this…..study ur book forget mr and try ur best to continue in life cuz mr not good to make a medicine….i tell ya

  12. lovely
    March 8, 2010

    Almost every young lady from school these days have a SOME NUISANCE man that is either older than them or is married.

    It’s so sickening, and what is getting to me is that they know better! All they are studying id SEX, SEX, SEX! like sex is running.

    You have your whole life ahead of you. This is the age period to enjoy life respectfully and aim for your dreams…education id what counts, and without it you stand alone as a cheese.

  13. March 8, 2010

    she is a young lady not a little girl i think we should start respecting people base on thier age cause i sure if she had do someting else all u would say a big girl like that. what if she is out of school and she is working already and does not desire to go to college so how school become a issue she is old enough to choose a boyfriend she is just one yr from eighteen she is old enought to and theres nothing wrong with a six yr difference so if she was 30 and the guy was 36 is that a big age differece the same six yrs older the point is that u should stop the relationship before you get hurt and use and let the young man know that if he doesn’t love you then you dont want a relationship wit him and if he could cheat on his girlfriend definetly he does not love you

  14. lala
    March 8, 2010

    you know what he is and you still decided to go with him so all i can tell you is take what you get.

  15. March 8, 2010

    My dear friend no one should call u stupidor mad sick bec we all make mistakes in life. ok but the best ting to do is let go of his young man bec wat goes around comes around in life it’s a small world.But at yr age we all tend to get feelings for men so put yr mind on your school work and aim for your goals .I know u can show this young man you are worth more than being used.

  16. thinkinman
    March 8, 2010

    First of all a 17 yr old girl should ONLY be concentrating on either graduating from high school or state college and making steps towards further her education…not focusing on a grown man who is 6 yrs older than her. It should be apparent that the guy is a womanizer. unless u wanna be just another statistic…i suggest you focus on your progressive future. Plus don’t your parents know that you are involved with this guy? Why should a 24 yr old man be after a little girl who should still be in school? i guess he’s another one of those who likes young girls….or she’s another one of those little girls that like older guys. they say age is just a number but it’s obvious that this guy is alot more mature than your are.

  17. mike
    March 8, 2010

    doh give mamselle no advice tell her the truth SHE A DAM A…

  18. Young Man in Dominica
    March 8, 2010

    child go and study your book

  19. Stupes!
    March 8, 2010

    She know de business already what she writing to Bella for nuh?

  20. oh ok
    March 8, 2010

    i am way older than u my dear and as a woman we have all found ourselves in similar expereinces. But from a mother’s point of view, my advice to u is break free and do it fast, forget tat loser. Do u want to become his next baby mama, from wat u say, i don’t think so….. Listen to ur heart u know he dont love u just want puss, so the next time he see u around tell him u have better things to do with ur life, such as completing ur education, than to waste time on a low down filthy scondrel like him. My dear, we all make mistakes but we dont sit in it and wait for a miracle, we get up and keep going.

  21. dreams
    March 8, 2010

    bella good advice..she know what the man want so work on it choops..CHILD my best advice to u is leave dat man eh SERIOUSLY..honey go with ure instincts if feel used after the “session” then you were really used….u know how the man is WHY HURT URE SELF..u know he had twins by the other woman he acts like he does not care..u dat saying not him eh so u know..and u still with him…AWA MAN..ure just going to hurt yourself…stop dat relationship and GO TO SCHOOL N LEARN…MAD SICK HEAD REALLY NO GOOD!

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