I am writing because I have an issue with my mother.
I am a grown woman, 25 years old and yes I still live at home with my two young sons along with my two brothers.
I am in the process of building my home with my boyfriend. Before I use to contribute a lot to the house hold, pay bills, buy groceries etc. Now that I am building I am not able to do as much, although I still pay the water bill.
To my mom that seems to be a problem. She keeps telling me to get out of her house if I not pulling my weight.
I keep trying to explain to her that right now I am in a situation and need her help but she does not care. She even went as far as cooking, and giving everybody and not my sons and I.
My older brother is 30 years old and has never held a real job and she never tells him get out although he doesn’t contribute.
Lately she had stopped speaking to me and my sons. I wish I could go live with my boyfriend but he himself is staying with his aunt, who has a full house. Renting is out of the question since we’re building and saving up.
I know my mother is not responsible for me at my age but is it too much to have your family by your side in times of need?
What do I do? Right now I have no choice but to stay by my mom.
How do I make her see I am not a leech trying to live of her, I am just in need of her consideration right now.
Is it too much to ask?
Confused
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Dear Confused,
You have two issues to deal with:
1. You are an adult mother of 2 boys
2. You are a child of a mother at whose home you live.
Before you ask “What?” let me explain. As long as you live with your parent, she will feel that she has a say in your life because you are “under her roof”. Hence to make it amicable for you, you have to abide by some of her rules, and that goes without saying that you have to contribute to the household.
You need to be raising your boys in a less hostile environment than what they are currently getting. To appease the situation, besides paying the water bill, you should bring in some food. With your extra expenses, you will not be able to buy grocery for the entire household, but at least contribute a week’s worth of food, or simply buy enough groceries to see you and your sons through the month. Your boyfriend has to continue his child maintenance even if he is building.
You have to create a sanctuary of peace for the children. Children have a way of internalizing the stresses around them and that can produce deviant behaviour. Whatever you see going on, you now have to do through the glasses with my-sons-focused lenses. You have no choice now but to live where you are, but there is a lot of emotional tension and hostility.
Do not focus on anyone changing your environment or changing their thoughts to suit what you think they should be doing. You are going to change how you have been approaching this as you look at yourself more as the mother of two boys, than as the child of a mother at whose home you live.
Bella
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected] or [email protected]. Dear Bella is published on Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
I’m 34 years old & live at home but my mom is selling her house & kicking me out & I’ll have nowhere to go 😭😭😭😭
Hmmmmm, my advice is foolish but get a two bedroom house and get the fuck out of your mums place. the rent you will pay for the next few months will be nothing compared to the stress and humiliation you are facing and the danger you are exposing your kids to.
I congratulate you on building your own home and i am very happy that your boyfriend is helping you, a thing that men do not normally do. but take the chance and get some peace of mind,, move out be free…
I really dont believe your mom. thats how people are. yoyu can do the world for them. the one time you cant its a problem. your mother is grown enough to understand your situtation. from the time you take your loan for your house u have to start paying even if your house is not done as yet. your mother should understand. homes dont take a year to build. your mom should remember its her children are the ones who have to take of her later down in life. might be suprised after the treatment she is giving you , you might be the only one who stand by her when she cant do nothing for herself and she would have to be in the same house you build later down in life with you taking care of her. i have seen it happen. so mom, dont focus on the short period your daughter cant help cause its not her fault and think of the potential and the future and not just now. as you can see so far your daughter is the most promising one to help you in the time of need. as she said your son is 30, still living with you and dont contribute. so think twice before you treat your daughter this way.
CONFUSED:, It may be your mother does not want you around because you remind her of her own mistakes. When she sees you she may think of the mess she made of her own life.
However, to have a 30 year old son at home who is not contributing and tell you that you (a much younger child) are not pulling your weight is showing partiality in favor of the son. This is bad parenting. To feed the others in the house and not feed you and your children is heartless and cruel. Whatever mistakes you have made are not the fault of the kids yet they are being punished by their own grandmother!
Your mom is also nearsighted. She cannot see very far ahead. Is she not intelligent enough to realize that she is getting older? The time will come when she is old and cannot care for herself. She is going to need a loving daughter who can lend a hand. Someday she herself may need a place to live. Now she may have a house. But life is full of strange twists and turns. Who know what might happen in the future
That is why we need family
In your present situation the best you could do is get out from her. Your boyfriend should get a little place of your own even if it requires you to have less money for your house. This would slow down your plans. You would be waiting longer for a house.. But it would be better than your present situation.
The father of your children does have a responsibility to see that you are cared for. How must it make him feel to know that you are being treated this way? I would think he would feel dreadful knowing that your mother is not speaking to you. And to know that you and your children are not called to the table to eat along with the others in the house should literally be making him sick.
This story makes me wonder if he is even the father of your children. But if he is he needs to man up.
Assuming he is the father the moment you became pregnant you became his responsibility.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.
International Evangelist. Licensed Pastoral Counselor.
REV…really? it’s people (REVS) like you that give the church and other REVS a shameful name. You are so quick to judge and state negative comments on almost every post. SHUT UP, please… Are you good to your wife? Do you contribute to your household? Are you respectable? Was the last comment neccessary in regards to him being the father or not? where did this come from? You are supposed to be an example to other people, especially those who make mistakes and are in tough situations such as this young lady. not judge, and add unecessary comments such as “I am wondering if he is the father” or “you remind her of her own mistakes”. Honestly, you are a disgrace to the REV title
.
All mothers have their favorite child. If they do not like you no matter how much you do for them it will never be appreciated. Take it easy i have been in your shoes.
Do not worry about her. When she is in bed and she needs a plate a food give it to her and tell her you will never be like her,
2 sides to every story. As a mother of 3 myself, we Dominican mothers and most mothers will always love our children. it is not your mother’s responsibility to take care of you as an adult woman with 2 children. She raised you and you must take care of your own. You pay the water bill. Really? What about the light bill? Do you use the fridge, iron clothes, or us the light? Does your mother pay rent or mortgage? Is she working? What is her financial situation? Is she stressed because of her household situation? What is her medical condition? Is she getting her regular check-ups? Is she able to pay for her medications if any? She can let your brother stay there and take care of him as long as she wants. Does she have a husband? That son is security for her if she would live alone. Do not compare yourself to him. Maybe you have caused her heartache and he is more respectful. Did you discuss marriage with your man? Ensure that you have everything in writing in reference to this house. I’d advise you to converse with your mother, pay the light and bill water bill and buy your own food. Your mother loves you and her grand sons, I’m sure. Do not take her kindness for granted. Humble yourself. You are the one who needs her.
you have said it all .Can you imagine the stress that she is giving to that poor mother and for how long,the boyfriend must be so cunning fooling her about building house ,He should get a loan from credit union and build that house within one month and get his family together to give this dear mother some respite.
Well all you well impossible papa. smh Let me get this straight….So your two adult brothers live there also and no contribution ? Am I correct then you plus your two boys hmmmm and she supposed to just shut up and feed all of all you no complaints no questions asked. Yes sar. Did it ever occur to you that your mother is under financial pressure with all her grown adult children who should be taking care of her at this point in her life. Instead she is still nursing you and yours. We don’t know the other side of the story. There is something you are not telling us. I’m also a single mother of 5 I have three adult children who choose to live with me and I tell you, they all have to contribute. Some adult children find every excuse not to contribute and they secretly buy all sorts of brand name shoes and clothes but no money to help pay bills. We don’t know what is really going on
and I believe there is another side to that story
@Ginger. I’m with you.
There are other ways to contribute to a household than just money. Be extra helpful, both you and your boys, and your boyfriend even though he does not live there your mom is taking care of some of his responsibilities. Clean, cook, fix things around the house. If your mom is supplying you with a roof over your head and food in your belly take some load off her. Don’t wait for her to ask. Offer to do things for her.
all i have to say is whether or not you building you cannot expect your mother to maintain you and your two children. d lady already have your brother to feed!
but allu should come to an understanding on the matter. its also commendable that u are building at this time
but as a grown up, take on ur children’s responsibility ur man should help too!
You have correctly said that “I know my mother is not responsible for me at my age —.” so act accordingly and take on the responsibilities for your children and yourself. This may mean that you have to go slower on the building of the house and use some of the money to pay for your living expenses.
You may have taken your mother’s past support for granted and she is p—ed off. Since she is involved in your life and you are dependent upon her, you need to have discussions with her (involve a respectful and knowledgeable person, if necessary). Explain your plans to your mother, outline your financial situation and the changes that you will be making to take care of your children and your expenses and ask her if she can bear with you a little longer to permit you to fix up your house to move in. Remember, she has the option to say yes or no.
Lastly, you are building a house with a man to whom you are not married; who owns the land and what have you done to protect your interest in the property?
The comments here are AMAZING. our mentality is seriously tainted with dependency, and lack of responsibility for ourselves, and the expectation that someone else should foot our bills when we have difficulty. Is it in ur culture to feelso entitled to the resources of others even when we are grown with children?? After adulthood it is a mother’s choice to continue to financially support her child and/or gran children.
Water is the cheapest bill in Dominica. if she had paid the light bill that would probable have made a difference. I can believe so many ppl are against the mother when this girl is purely taking advantage of her mother.
How can a grandmother eat and not feed her grandchildren? Or not talk to her daughter and grand kids? Immature and heartless to say the least. The kids are innocent in all this and they should not suffer because of the sins of their mother. Their little minds are young and cannot comprehend the conflict that is going between their mother and grandmother. All they see is their grandmother eating and leaving them hungry. No one knows how this is affecting them psychologically.
Girl I commend you for being ambitious and building a home for your family at the young age of 25 but I would suggest that you at least buy food for your kids to eat if you cannot pay all the bills like you did before. The next thing you should do is try to work out with your mom what percentage of the bills you can contribute. It would seem reasonable if she divides them in 4 since there are 4 adults in the house. Or she might want you to pay a little extra because you have 2 kids in the household as well. Even though your brothers do not work they should still contribute because they are adults and if they can’t then their share would become your mom’s responsibility.
It’s not unreasonable for you to expect your mom to understand your desire to make a better life for your family and support you with that goal but the harsh reality is that she does not have to because you are an adult. If you were renting you would still have to pay your rent, pay your bills and buy food for your family while building your house. It might take you a little longer to build the house but the bottom line is you can’t save money while your children starve.
I wish you all the best. Stay positive and keep working hard. In the end things will work out in your favor.
Unmarried woman building a house with a boyfriend, isn’t a good idea firstly. Bella gave some good advice, you can’t expect your mother to feed you and your kids you already living rent free. Now if your helping with groceries and your mother isn’t offering you and your kids any then that’s an issue. As for your brother, she will feel his burden when your gone.
You and your boyfriend will have to make sacrifices, you have two kids so he can also help you with groceries.
There is always two sides to a story. As a mother myself, communication is so important. What kind of relationship does this young woman have with her mother. From the beginning did she talk to her mother and tell her that she is building and that she will need her help while she build her home. We do not know the mother financial situation to take on the load of 3 extra persons. Even if the daughter cannot contribute the way she did before, there must be a plan. After all the mom did keep this young woman in her house with the first child, then a second child.
If that young woman was renting someplace outside of her mother’s house, she would have to pay rent, and take care of her household responsibilities. Therefore just paying for one utility bill, and not even wanting to contribute for food for her children is taking advantage of her parent. Let the boyfriend pay for the food if he is the children’s father. That’s also his responsibility. I don’t know how respectful this young woman is to her mother. Like I said there is always two sides to a story. My advice to you, try to talk to your mom calmly, not with an argument. Maybe she will listen.
my dear you are a big woman with 2 children. it would be better to put down a simple plywood shack and move into there in the meantime. you will #1. be in the comfort of something that is yours without the mental and emotional torment that you undergo everyday. #2. you can work on building your dream home while leaving comfortably in your shack. take your time dear and do your do. but dear, yes move out.
DEAR confuse i smell a rat n i think that your mom is jealous of you and is trying in every way to pressure you so that you will have problems to finish building your house. She should be happy at age 25 you are doing your best to have a roof over your head unlike your brother who is just sitting around doing nothing to contribute in the house. I say this is pure jealousy and god will see you through, In the mean time at least finish one room n move in so while you are in your own place god will make a way so that you can finish the rest. I have a mother there and she really needs the fruit of the spirit which is taken from Galatians chpt 5:22,23. or else KARMA has a good way of rolling back the curtains.
I surely don’t have all the facts, its either u taking a little more advantage than u should, if its that u are doing try and pay for more than u are paying now or move out, but ur mother should never eat on the kids I feel ur pain. And be sure to have all ur record of what u pay for on the house u are building, don’t give him the money to buy materials and when u look he don’t give u any receipts, that’s a sign hopene is up to something so ur open
Good luck girlfriend but make sure that man marry you,Cause you kwn these guys,Once they get the milk free they not gonna buy the cow if you kwn what i am talking about.Your brother needs to get a job.Your mom needs a wake up call.She is a Mama suitiwear.
I read through the many comments and I am amazed that most people believe that the mother should provide for an adult and her two kids. That clearly shows what is the mindset of we a people: total dependence of others. Have you not heard the saying that “lack of planning on your part does not consitute an emergency on my part”? One cannot make plans that include another’s actions or omissions unless that has been clearly communicated and agreed upon. Did you at any point tell your mother that you are going to start building and this is what you can contribute monthly? Did she say yeah or nay? Or did you just spring it on her relying on the fact that she is your mother so its okay to depend on her to carry you while you build?
Yes, it would have been nice if your mom was able to asssit but she is no obligated to do so now that you are an adult. In fact, it is your and your children’s father obligation to provide for your two young kids. So, start planning! Make a budget that includes your building costs and your current living cost. Anything short of that, as one blogger rightly said,is looking to build at your mother’s expense. Might sound harsh, but sometimes the truth can be. Good luck!
Thank you for being sensible. I wonder if she was renting how would she have paid her rent and other bills eventhough she is building.
Do we even know the other side of the story? some kids fail to respect their parents, some situations should force us to humble ourselves when need too..
Or for your peace of mind, you should build by sections, you do not need to build a four bedroom house right now, maybe you should put two galvanise over your head, for now and build by sections, most importantly kitchen, wash room and place to sleep may it be in the leaving room….. one peace of mind is most important especially when kids are involved….
Maybe you should say less and do more, and, keep your plans to yourself…misery loves company…
Very polished response Bella. I concur
My dear, this story reminds me of my childhood. My mother went through the same thing when she was building her house (single mom). My Granny was so mad (I guess bcuz she was still renting) that she turned her back on us. Put us out too, while my 2 lazy uncles stayed in the house doing nothing. Out of all 12 of her children, only my mommy taking care of her now that she’s old 90 years. Guess where she living now? In that same house of my mom. So my advice to you is to ask God to forgive her and bite your tongue for a little while. Take care of your kids with their father the best you all can. Help your mother the best you can. Keep your pressure down. Smile sometimes.
That is the reason why poor people stay poor. You parents cannot see far enough beyond their plate to help you develop your future. Once you start to give people they want more from you yet those that don’t give to them they demand less from. Your mother is used to getting from you so once you stopped, she will dislike you more for stopping whatever your reason than your brothers that never gave to her. Finally its human nature to hate to see other people do well or better than you… it’s the root of ignorance, he behavior is subconscious, it how she truly feels. Your mistake is you told her you’re building a house… if you told her you seeing miser, boyfriend beating you, allu struggling and you can hardly save money to feed your children… she would give you a free pass! Now after you build the house she’s gonna say it’s on her shoulder you built it. Sad but true… poor people vibes. SHEDOHREADYET!
@UDOREADYET you are so right. I’m in a similar situation with my mom but things will be fine. You do good to help others but when it comes to doing for yourself , the same persons you sacrificed to help turn against you.
Bella sorry ,i might be very stupid but I honestly don’t know what is in your head….
This lady said she is paying only the water bill now because she is building,she is not capable of doing all the expenses she was doing before building…
What else can she do,she have no other problem with her mother….As a matter of fact what kind of mother is that ,she pretended she loved her daughter and her grand children for what her daughter could provide,that is not motherly love….My mother is almost 100 years now if she had the same attitude with my sister who would take care of her now?What a selfish gready mother she is .How can she keep a lazy son who is in the house and want to kick out her daughter…Bella according to your “famous rules ” look at the woman’s age ,in other words her sons are very young,how can a grand mother eat in the face of two little children ? Lady keep your fingers crossed ,pray to God and try your best to finish even is only two rooms ,toilet ,bathroom and kitchen ,,,move in carry water ,use a lamp and i am sure you will feel happy…time will tell .. maman bef mawat .ava, enwager vorace.
A 25 year old unmarried woman with two children cannot expect her mother to take care of her and her kids. Building a house is a good thing, but not when your mother is supporting you (except for water??!!). Shouldn’t the children’s Father be supporting at least his children? And the daughter should be doing a lot more than paying for water while she’s using her Mother’s house to shelter herself and her children and feed all of them too. Time for a reality check. Also time to grow up and be responsible for your own children and yourself and quit crying about how unfair your Mother is being. It’s YOU who’s being unfair to your Mother!
LU-Belle ….reread….did we miss something from what the young lady said? Go back and read from the beginning
What can of mother that is nuh. “Mama Malwart”, you are building your house at 25, there are some people much, much older than you that do not have their house, and she should be grateful that you are ambitious child unlike the two dead-beat sons, why doesn’t she tell the sons to move out, also you are the girl, which should be taken care of until your house is built, I have a grown son, who is older than you, and people tell me, he is a big man, make him go, how can I let my “flesh and blood” go, until he is ready, he will go. She is very, very selfish and not a good role model for her grandsons.
Experience tells me her mother does not want to see her improve herself and will do anything because she has a green eye . in my case the idea was the amount of money i was making and the aunt who helped me was told all kinds of stories about me all made up stories and imagination ,but the man they sent to school in roseau from age 8 till college and continued to suck their blood after he was grown and married they saw nothing wrong with that.
You should comment on the story here. It seems that you have your own issues. This is not your story. If you want advice write to BELLA yourself.
i understand how much you may need help right now and it is a hard situation to deal with. but your mother has a right to depend on you for financial support if you are under her roof.
you have two kids there, so the father should be providing food ect for them so they wont be a burden to the grandmother. it is hard feeding two people much more 5. unless your mother is rich, you should be paying towards food and everything else because its three of you and your mother may not have much to survive on either
the children’s father should be spending for them, but so many fathers refuse to nowadays. i hope you find an answer
Even if your Mother is rich … it’s your job to take care of your kids and yourself at age 25. God Bless her if she’s rich, but it’s not yours to spend.
your mother is really confused.30 years old man in the house and doing nothing.what bout her 2 grandsons she not treating like her own.I understand life is rough,but that’s still not a reason to be selfish.She could at least cook for her sons and give you the reason it did not have enough.
None of you have asked her about the house that she is supposedly building. First of all my girl is the land that you are about to build yours? if not big problem could be encountered in the future. You are not married to this man and maybe that is what your mum is concerned about. Is the papers for the land and house on your name or both you and your boyfriend? Just something to think or be honest about. If he is not your husband, he could easily leave you later and another woman moves in. Is he the children daddy? Just food for thought!!!
Free
I think you are right ,if they are not married and building together this could be the problem with the mother and a bigger one with the guy later as love is blind and the mom being older knows what could happen later ,but should sit her down for a parent to child talk with no MAYPWEE
well that’s really sad and bad of your mom. Maybe you could try reaching out to another family member and see if they could help you for the little while. but make sure you let them know every detail so they can understand the seriousness of the matter. Until then, hold strong and keep praying to God.
GET OUT!!!!!
find the men of your baby daddy to put you up GET OUT, grown a woman and with 2 kids sponging off your mother….GET OUT!!!!
“How do I make her see I am not a leech trying to live of her, I am just in need of her consideration right now?”
Simple…continue paying the bills and buying groceries. Do just as you would have if you were already in your spanking new house.
when you move into your own house how are you going to pay the bills. I think you should continue paying the bills and buy some of the groceries.
Remember you are building with a boyfriend make sure that the property is in your name or both your names because boyfriend can leave anytime and can tell you to leave
A fuss some Dominicans does contwayer me. The woman did all she could and now she is trying to get hers why the mother eating on kids and not give them? When they grow up and start passing her rass straight she will conveniently forget what she did and call them ungrateful. I know many such situations. People trying to go and study and getting pressed, or returning from studies on break and the whole house forget that the person carried them while in Dominica not a sprite to take out gas they offering you. If all she can contribute is the water bill that is better than nothing, but you see in Dominica and the region, I’ve heard countless stories of women making noise behind their adult sons back for sponging off them, but killing their daughters the one time you can’t give them as much as you have to. I know people who got married and their mothers are so upset, why because now the person have their household to run. Stay strong my dear, and if possible you can complete a room and a livable space do so and remove your kids from that situation. I think sometimes we are too judgmental and heartless and when the issue is not ours, or we choose to pretend we can’t relate we damn people. I feel you pain.
That’s d advice u giving…. surely u did not understand her situation
is just a thing with black people and that why we always fall to nothing , why would i put my child on the street especially my girl? send them to pay rent when they could be saving to get their own one day , as u reach 17 they start telling you to leave their place, and look at that that u was helping her ,my girl your mother is ungrateful i wish u the best n finush build your place fast and get out of there ,,,,,,,,,,,,
What you failed to mention is whether or not your mother is financially capable of taking care of you plus your 2 children while you build your home. And for you as a “grown woman” to expect her to do so is unfair. She can help, if she wants to, but she’s not obligated to.
There are two sides to a story so i will not comment where the mum is concerned. I honestly think that in the first case you should realized that you are not under your own roof and that boyfriend is in the position to provide for his family whilst he build much less for having two kids. Come on a mother can take that much. You pay water bill. My dear this story is holy… Do you provide for groceries etc three extra mouths to feed is quite alot can your mother really support that? As i said there are two sides to a story.
How much is the water bill? So after you and your kids have your fill with the water, who is supposed to feed and house you?
You were an adult when you decided to have two kids, but now you are a dependent because you are building a house?
My dear, you can’t have it both ways.
I think your mother is very selfish she should understand that you’re building your home ….don’t you worry my dear she will come back to you just be ready to forgive her and extend that help. …talking from experience
Who is going to pay your bills when you go and stay in your house? You need to pull your weight you have two children and yourself in the lady house. Abezan!!
Did u read the article? How is she Abezan and she was contributing. Building takes a lot of money, and at least she is still paying a bill! stupid.
Reading this makes me appreciate my parents soooo much more, i’m in a very similar situation but my parents practically take on all my kids expenses and never ask me for a dime. However I do try and provide as I can and do as much of the housework as possible. They’re very understanding and i have to thank God for them everyday. Maybe if u cant contribute as much in the household try and do things that will make u’re mom happy. If you cant buy the food do the cooking, the laundry, help out as much as possible, things are tight now and sometimes she’s prolly just frustrated that she has 3 children still on her account and plus 2 grands. i dont support she not speaking to your kids cuz after all its not their fault. But if u can’t provide financial support, try doing everything else ok.. It may not solve ur probs completely but its sure to ease up the tension a bit.. I wish you all the best in your endeavours.
Awhhhh well said my dear that reminds me of my mummy may her soul rest in peace!
My dear, this story reminds me of my childhood. My mother went through the same thing when she was building her house (single mom). My Granny was so mad (I guess bcuz she was still renting) that she turned her back on us. Put us out too, while my 2 lazy uncles stayed in the house doing nothing. Out of all 12 of her children, only my mommy taking care of her now that she’s old 90 years. Guess where she living now? In that same house of my mom. So my advice to you is to ask God to forgive her and bite your tongue for a little while. Take care of your kids with their father the best you all can. Help your mother the best you can. Keep your pressure down. Smile sometimes.
The mother is not selfish, she gave you life and raised you. The day you became old enough to vote and make children is the day you should leave your mothers house.
Isn’t that what parents are suppose to do for their children? Taking care of ones children are their own responsibility and no one else. She needs to sit her mom down and work out a budget and talk about their issues and come to a common understanding with each other
So isn’t that what she should be doing for her sons? She’s asking her mom to sarifice while she tries to get a better life for herself and her boyfriend… Are you serious?
Only the water bill.. because you’re building a house. Your mom has to work to feed herself, her son her daughter (you) and your sons…. while your boyfriend does what? or child father does what?
She needs to do more…Im sure she goes out and entertains herself sometimes (while she’s saving to build a house!)
Rubish!!! I say a mother is always a mother.. girl take it easey …one day ur home must finish
Bella you people are not understanding what this woman is trying to say. Paying the water bill is contributing. I think the mother is upset because now that the young woman is buiding she won’t be able to contribute as much as before. When the young woman and the sons live the mother won’t have the extra support. She should kick out the grown 30-yrs old that’s sponging of her. Confused I think you should try to finish a room in that house so you can your kids can sleep in. When my mom built her house she start with one room so we can have a place to sleep. The builders work during the day while we were at school and she was at work so we were not affected by the dust, paint or other debree. You are in my prayers.
darn I meant “you and your kids” not “you can your kids”…my bad.
Nonesense!!!!!!!
Average water bill is less than $50 monthly. Living at your parents home with your two kids, you call that ‘contributing’…smh.
What would you call it?…if she doesn’t pay it who will? the dead beat men she has leaving with her? Why doesn’t she make them work and help out?
Your mother knows when you go with boy friend in your new home she have to fine that money to pay bills ,,i say one thing girl watch your back too ,his B/ F ,,,, NAME ON PAPER /////
well this is hard and i would ask how far are your house in stage of building i think your mom is not acting supportive of you trying to do better for you family sweetheart but up blocks cover and use plywood for door and windows and go some parents only need you when u give any time you cut down u have to leave time is tought
Oh that’s messed up!! Seems like there’s more to it than she wanting you to move out. I could be wrong but maybe your mom has something against you. Yes you’re under her roof but you’re not a stranger under her roof, you’re her daughter. Maybe you should try talking to her, ask her what really is the problem and why is she behaving like that towards you and her grand children. She should be happy that her grand babies are there with her and proud of you for building your own house. In the mean time, keep your head on, do what you have to do, keep on paying that water bill and kill her with love. All the best
I think the mom wants her to stay so she can continue to help out. She moving out means the mom will have to pay for everything including feeding her dead beat sons.
I am sorry that you have to go through this situation but I am here to tell you that nothing lasts forever. You will overcome – things already better. Put your trust in God, pray about your situation, thank your mom for what she is providing and tighten up as much as you can so you can contribute a bit more. Whent he time comes, and it will, help your mom as much as you can without remembering or bringing up this situation. To mom, be not weary in well doing.
Sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulders, keep on pushing on. God bless you and yours.
Yuh 25 wit 2 children…well girl yuh shoulda move in wit BF and sort out dem ting and then go and have children…yuh too farse to spread those knees
@ DBusiness
You are a total IDIOT
yeah 25 with 2 kids and building her home. where you at?at home with mama?atleast she’s trying to get her own home. you go girl!!
Sacway caval, at least she had them, big up to her!
that is a selfish mother… she could at least give you some time as you are building .
Sounds like you want mommy to pay for you and your kids expenses while you build house on the money. I understamd what you saying but your mother shouldn’t have to pay for food for you and your sons all the time because you are building a house man. Be fair,and as far as your brother is concerned it’s just him,remember you have two sons. I’m not saying you dont need her help but it’s like you saving to build on your mother’s account,as it’s she paying for all the things you would have been paying for. Your mother has a right to be upset and she has told you about it,either you help more or move out but your mother is not wrong if that’s how she feels. Please respect her and either help out more or leave my girl.
u think that the young lady is unfair. what about all the time she was providing? we don’t know what type of employment the young lady have, so we cannot assume that she cannot provide more. what if she just works at say astaphans and she and her boyfriend had to take a loan or maybe building this house on their pockets. we cannot she that the young lady is unfair it is her mum who unfair. she only loved her daughter for what she was getting from her.
All the time she was providing for she and her sons to eat, drink, sleep and live….duh. You all making it seem like she was ‘providing’ for the mom and not for herself and her two kids.
Woman is ur name…when one door closes, another opens..sometimes many. It may just be the shove u need. Walk blindly, but walk with faith, God will c u through my girl. My two cents, pack up n get out.
Your mother is a selfish person,she should be happy that your building your own home.