My boyfriend gossips too much

My problem is this. My boyfriend loves to gossip or mal parlay as we would say in Dominica. I mean I use to hear people that is for women but he brings it to a whole new dimension. He talks about everybody, he knows everybody’s business: who is doing what, who is having sex with who, who is cheating on who and the lists goes on.

He knows the business of everybody around. How he gets the information I don’t know. All I know is he spends hours on the phone talking, talking and talking about other people. Some of the information he knows, I have no idea how he gets them.

I am very disturbed by this. I spoke to him on many occasions and he just went right along.

What should I do?

Disturbed

Dear Disturbed

It is a stereotype that only women gossip. Men also gossip. However they do it within their circle, on the blocks with the guys. They are not very open about it. I understand why you are disturbed about it. All this time he spends talking about others should be spent with you or doing something meaningful. Talk to him to help him understand how disturbed you are by his behaviour.

You can also take matters into your own hand. People who gossip are usually idle. Get activities that the two of you can be involved in. These activities should interest him or it may not work. Get him off the phone and focus on you in a creative way when you think he has spent enough time on the phone. He probably does it because this is how he feels useful.

Bella

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62 Comments

  1. Jenny from da Block
    May 24, 2011

    lol wooooshhh….copain from possie that for sure!!

  2. queenie
    May 20, 2011

    your boyfriend is a transvestite..
    let me tell you what to do
    go to him; pull down his skirt ( i mean his pants) and check what you see under there..
    Do you see a bulge?…………i think you do…………BUT……………hold on……….look closely…..the tranny has some paper folded up and scotch-taped to his va-jay jay……………RIP IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He’s gonna scream like the girl that he is…”Aaaaaahhhhhhhh, that hurt beyotch!!!”

    you boyfriend is a woman…in a man’s body……
    gay piece of sh*t

  3. Truth, Justice, Love, Peace and Unity
    May 11, 2011

    I will commend Bella for her response. Giving credit and compliment where it is due. :) The man is indeed idle. He needs to keep occupied. Is he going to spend the rest of his life gossiping? I would consider him a boring person. What other interest does he have?
    I have found that people who gossip are really idle people. They could also possess wicked minds. They are always talking about people when they may have much to mind in their personal lives. The world comprises of many gossipy people. Dominica is not the only place where people gossip. Surprisingly, this occurs in developed nations. Toronto is no exception and among religious people. We call such people “nosy”. I can inform you about that and vouch for it. They rank among all nationalities of the world.
    This is one type of friendship I could do without and do not want. I do my utmost to stay far away from such people.
    There is a saying, once a man twice a child. Purchase some decent/moral games to play when he is indoors.
    As a child my father bought Ludo, Snakes and Ladders, Cards and Drafts for us, his children to play. This would keep us busy. My mother would even play them with us. There is also Monopoly. We are never too old to appreciate them and to play them.
    The computer system has some decent games.
    We do not have to be idle. Idleness is the devil’s playground. One of this as he depicts is gossip.
    Yes! There are some men who gossip and who also speak a lot of nonsense. I recall reading in the Book, Divine Mercy In My Soul, the Diary of a nun, Sister (St.) Faustina of Poland. This occurred in the early 1930’s. She was hospitalized. She said that she could hear the men talking and laughing in another ward which was close to where she was. They were gossiping. She said that she did not realize that men talked so much. :lol: Consider the year!
    On occasion when the opportunity calls for it I love to repeat it. It makes me laugh too. They gossip and talk a lot alright whether in front of a woman or not. Yet, there are men who state that women gossip and talk too much. They could be sneaky too.
    As Bella stated, she should address the issue. Gossiping is a sin. We should not indulge in it. I detest (not hate) people who spend all their time gossiping. They appear to have nothing to do and nothing constructive to offer. Such people lack progressiveness both morally (mortally) and spiritually.
    Lady, time to talk to him and inform him that gossiping is not good for the soul. It is a dangerous hobby. It leads to nowhere.
    I hope that he is a practicing Christian and a genuine one. This should assist him to root out gossiping from his nature. I wish you success with this one.

    • Beff la large
      May 18, 2011

      What kind of novel dat ner? Papa met… I doh read dat eh…halfway, my eyes got restless.

      • ha ha
        May 25, 2011

        LOL. LOL. LOL. alyou doe good. papa. lol. i love domincans eh. LOL. alyou doe easy.

  4. me R
    May 11, 2011

    I think your guy is very, very, very, gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. dominican
    May 11, 2011

    i hope he know his business, is so they minding ppl but their dayba does surprise them…ti maco

  6. Expressive
    May 11, 2011

    i suggest you dump him because you don’t want to live with this all your life!

  7. OH BOY....
    May 11, 2011

    Tell him that you’re having another mans baby….when he ask who for!!!!!!!? tell him it’s for one of his GOOD…. friends…the one who calls him at 6.00 0’clock every night, and told him that LUCY was sleeping with Johnny, and Frank…then tell him you moving out….

    or buy a long shene beff from Astaphans!!!!!!and tie him under the yampae tree, the one next to the pig pen close to the ravin…and take his phone from him..

    see if that works, cause BELLA is just playing with your head..BONNE CHANCE..

    • sweet pum pum
      May 11, 2011

      :lol:

    • me
      May 26, 2011

      @ OH BOY, hahahahaha i like dat and tie him tight and make de chain short for him not to move too much..

  8. Truth!!!
    May 11, 2011

    I have notice that all Dominican man a gossip! They are known for that.

    • sweet pum pum
      May 11, 2011

      Not only Dominican Men :mrgreen: I can tell you of a few other nationalities that do so don’t even
      go there :mrgreen:

    • Anonymous
      May 16, 2011

      fair and balance

      ALL Dominican men dont gossip, Truth you should be honest with yourself or change your name.

  9. Sheffield
    May 10, 2011

    what nonsense all you talking…why all you pretending that Dcan men dont pong bef…I know helluva straight men who talk more bef than any darn woman…

    DA men like to chat bout sh*t. That is fact. Is a fact that they always want to be all up in people’s biz…who screwing who…who cheating on who…real ting. some DA man gossip more than woman and they NOT gay.

    it never even occured to me that ur pardna was gay…he jus typical actually. I know a lotta fellas reading that now will KNOW for a fact that I am right cause they damn well know they chat people business bad bad!

    • godfather
      May 11, 2011

      :lol:

      • sweet pum pum
        May 11, 2011

        We are not pretending that DA man don’t pong beff I assume by the way you chat you are not
        from Dominica. Nuff man from your island pong beff too. Men all over does pong beff . So to
        single out Dominican men is unfair, when all of all you doing the same thing :lol:

  10. youth
    May 10, 2011

    Live mister …disgrace to men…

  11. Family Guy!!
    May 10, 2011

    Mister must be from Grandbay, trust me!!!…Grandbay man alone a gwan so…Batty braits!!!

    • eh eh
      May 11, 2011

      fehmeh bondahw

    • ZOOOR
      November 14, 2012

      Grand bay man allu doh fraid! ALLU LIKE TO JUMP ON GRANDBAY….U MAYBE ALL A BATTY BRATT

  12. standpipe
    May 10, 2011

    batty man go an so!

  13. Kryptonite
    May 10, 2011

    Your Man is a B A N find out what that mean cause Dno will not allow it,you need to tell him that if he does not not stop you will leave his [email protected]@ for a Real [email protected]@ [email protected]@.

  14. anonymous
    May 10, 2011

    that man must be from newtown.A real marian.

  15. lol
    May 10, 2011

    Yes men and women “pong beth” but is to a limit and withing their group, but when they go out of their circle..they become famewhores, attention seeking maco mem… btw that man souding like a partner from M.P… part of a group from Blue

  16. Nervous Rex
    May 10, 2011

    All you talking about a fella from pottersville….if you poopooing and u see misyer coming, cover that fast fast fast.

    • Kai
      May 10, 2011

      LLLLLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL

      • lawd
        May 11, 2011

        i think i know the fella you talking bout , what’s the first letter in his name does he live close to peppers lol

        • TT
          May 31, 2011

          you are very stupid how can you know the goat who is gossiping they never mentioned a name…. nonsense….

          now give the girl proper advice

  17. Crackerjack
    May 10, 2011

    This guy is made to go into politics. You give him some kind of office and he’ll be on his way to fame. If you set it up right he could turn out to be an asset for the island. :-D

  18. I KNOw
    May 10, 2011

    Man he sound like an ex boyfriend of mine by the name of ben from la-plaine he knew everybodies business but his.

    • Deducer.
      May 10, 2011

      You use to give it up on his head? And he only found out today onDNO? :twisted: Bon 4 ben lol :-D :-D

    • TT
      May 31, 2011

      When Ben come and give you 2 slaps i’ll be commenting under that……

  19. nectar
    May 10, 2011

    Hmmmmmm…………………Washington.butting-ton

    • CLAIRVOYANCE
      May 10, 2011

      hahahaah i was thinking the same ting hahah!

  20. Anonymous
    May 10, 2011

    A bun for u to give him see if he wont stop now let me see if he say u give the mm to ah butcha bwoy lol!!!!! real possie here.

  21. Dr.Finger
    May 10, 2011

    Buy him a damm panty, brasier, lipstick and half-slip to see how he will react. That man of yours is soooooooooooooo gay you just cant imagine. In my part of the world we call them Mr. Langkarkar.

    • for real
      May 10, 2011

      ‘mr langkarkat’ ! whoosh! lol. you really had me laughing on this one. hehehehhehehheh! mr langkarkar for real !!!!

  22. lawd
    May 10, 2011

    i find alot of dca man like that, caribbean man on a whole lol. your man is just a bit extreme with it lol

  23. maco mauvais
    May 10, 2011

    when i was a young man we called them mama man

    • bella-ann
      May 10, 2011

      hahahahahahahahahahah……………..long i doh hear that saying

  24. CLAIRVOYANCE
    May 10, 2011

    a washington man that haahaha!

    • wrong
      May 10, 2011

      where again you expect him 2 come out…lol

    • Anonymous
      May 11, 2011

      awa a senjoe bus driver that!

      • west side
        May 11, 2011

        u mad a mahaut bus man that. on phone talking beef. mister sick. he much be a bus man

      • Anonymous
        May 29, 2011

        Lol alu doh easy nah in that little dominica

    • Beff la large
      May 18, 2011

      Lol…all you making me laff…look jokes!

  25. PTown
    May 10, 2011

    there is a saying that goes…talk about ppl with someone, be sure that someone will talk about u with someone else…..gossip is just a bad thing whether its women or men that participate in it. its very disgusting to sit and listen to ppl talk about somebody else and most times its an untruth.

    go and see he maybe talk about allu relationship wii…yuck! loser mayb cya even buy a sweetie! i abhor men like dat! its not cus they idle alone u know..its cus they think they have it going on and when in truth they have shit!

    • Alexander Harrington
      July 14, 2011

      THOSE WHO GOSSIP TO YOU ABOUT OTHERS, WILL GOSSIP TO OTHERS ABOUT YOU………….

  26. AmazingFace
    May 10, 2011

    Maco he maco.

  27. wawww WAWW
    May 10, 2011

    as if is serenade dat have a song so u know..beff la large..not so nuh?lol

    • Beff la large
      May 10, 2011

      Lol…hence my name. lolololol

      • wawww WAWW
        May 10, 2011

        hahaha i doh even see dat when i made the comment.lol u know how dno taking forever to post d comment.lol

        • Beff la large
          May 18, 2011

          Lol….It have a gurl and all now so is sleepless nights she having….beff la large for dat eh….everybody now know she’s a femme beff…just like dis gyal man….I cannot stand people like dat. Talk talk talk….go do someting more constructive with your life. Too like to marco people.

  28. Worky Worky
    May 10, 2011

    Girl this man is a drama Queen Gay gay gay.. That is a sign that your man is fruity and he is struggling with his sexuality. Real men talk about sports , cars , women, politics, career development. Real men dont spend soo much time Mal Palaying people. Your boyfriend should be thinking of better and faster ways to get you unto cloud nine.Hey that is my opinion.I aint malpalaying any body.

    • apay l'homme maco
      May 10, 2011

      Your remarks were well read and understood but i have a little objection here. Real men do talk all you said. But see them macos/fruit cakes ,don’t ask don’t tells! they like politics too and are usually extremely stong party supporters and like to bring beff too. DLP & UWP have some serious maco supporters never listen to Q95/ One always there whee,whee,whee ,whee lol :) :) :) :)

      • Nice one
        May 10, 2011

        WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

        Jokes for so. Weh, Weh, Weh. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  29. Beff la large
    May 10, 2011

    Disturbed, I know how you feel…however, this is your man….people judge you by the people you associate with. Soon, you could be viewed as someone just like him (gossip starter). I had a friend like that….sits at home all day, knows everybody business (you self have no clue who those people are), makes dozens of calls to “spread the word”…lol…at times, its best to just leave them and let them set their own trap for themselves….I would advice you to ask him again to refrain and its not a good look for a person. If his story telling starts to affect your relationship, then you may have to have plan B. However, as bella said, this may be his only way for him to feel useful. Maybe you guys need to start doing some more activities together. lols…Anyways, I feel you….some people though, its a bad habit and its part of them, they cannot even help it. They need to talk about others,usually saying “don’t call my name you know, doh say is from me you hear that”. Half the time there’s some insecurity, some underlying jealousy something that is going on. The funny thing is, they hate it when people talk about them. Gossip is gossip but when it gives you pleasure to see the destruction is causes, then something is really wrong with you….I call it jealousy. So your man may have something going on.

  30. Good Advise
    May 10, 2011

    Hey girl, let me give you some good advise! Give the man something to talk about. Come check me out nuh and maybe then he would redirect his energies, since he would have to be constantly veyeying (marking) our every movements>

    Then again, thos met-veye there usually don’t know of anything happening right under their noses, but only of other peoples business, so it is likely that he may never know of our affair. lol.

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