My boyfriend wants to watch me do it with another guy

Dear BellaI am seeing a guy who I am madly in love with.  We’ve been seeing each other for quite some time now, a few years.

I am willing to do anything for him.  As you know we as sexual beings having sexual fantasies.  My boyfriend has this fantasy that he would like to fulfill with me  but am nt sure if I am up to it.

He wants to watch me do it, in other words have sex, with another guy.  He says he will be in the room with me and it will be someone that he knows and trust.

He says he will not love me any less if I do and he can stop any time I want to.

Bella just like how this man satisfies my fantasies I want to satisfy his as well, but am not sure that am up to that one.

What do you of this and what do you think I should do?

Miss Unsure


Dear Miss Unsure,

I am going to give you two sides of the coin. Some people will think it all depends on your view of the whole matter. They will say if you are OK with it, it will be just another way of fulfilling your boyfriend’s fantasy and it could spice up the sex life between you and him.

Others will say if you are not OK and comfortable with it, just don’t do it.

I will go with the latter. You said you are not sure of this fantasy of your boyfriend, so don’t push yourself into doing it.

If he continues to push the subject without ceasing, then maybe he is just not the right person for you because I find it to be totally absurd and disrespectful to expect your partner/spouse to comply to such things and it is even more wrong to put forth such a demand.


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  1. JDog
    October 6, 2017

    I think you really want to do it deep down inside, but you’re not sure how he’s going to treat you afterward & thats understandable, Hey I’ve been with a lot of women & most of them have the fantasy of being with two guys at the same time. Which is what I think you rather have happen am I right, if so then tell him & have fun but be careful, wear protection cuz you want to know who the baby daddy is if you were to get pregnant & you don’t want to catch anything, you never know who this guy has been with..

  2. January 30, 2015

    This “boyfriend” is depraved to the point of being dangerous. He speaks as if he knows who the other man will be so it seems he has already discussed it with him. He has brought this other man into their relationship. He has no love for the woman.

    I will not offer you a complete psychological profile. However, he did not have the best home life when he was growing up. Porn is part of his background. There is likely alcohol abuse. He has gay tendencies. I say this because (a) he is twisted in his understanding of the normal man – woman relationship, and (b) he is trying too hard to appear hetero. He has had other relationships, some of them quite quirky.

    The young lady should put him out of her life immediately. I realize this letter was written several years ago and all of this may be long past. However, if he pursues her she should go to the police.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist. (Pastoral Counselor Certificate)

    • May 29, 2017

      You really are nuts! You have no business giving anyone advice so called Reverend.

  3. Ryan
    May 18, 2013

    You guys are really paranoid. Everyone’s got their kinks. I personally share this fantasy and have lived it out with my wife (and mother of my children) of 10 years. We have done this more than once and it is a huge turn on to see her pleasured by another man. No, I’m not gay or bi. It’s just awesome to see her pleasured from another point of view and/or in ways I am unable to do so. I love my wife very much and don’t look down on her one bit. I am no a pimp in any sense and have never thought of or looked for anything in return from the other guy.
    We have had other men, women and couples join us in the bedroom. We are very stable in our relationship and it brings some extra spice into the bedroom.
    As for those of you crying about STD’s, the STD rates among swingers are lower than that of the general single public as we know there is more people playing and therefore we are safer. In 10 years of playing with more people that most of you could handle hearing about we are both as clean as a whistle having never contracted anything.
    Also for those who like to judge people they don’t know about things they don’t understand, we are both Christians who are active in the church and raise our kids in the church. Yes it is against the bible but so are many other things I’m sure many on here and in other places violate as well. We don’t see it as infidelity since we both know what is going with the other person.

    I think the majority of you people out there should calm down a little. Those of us in the lifestyle know this is not for everyone and most cant handle the thought or why someone would be this way. But it’s not for you to understand, if it’s not your thing then don’t try it. Most of you would be really surprised to know how many people are into this lifestyle and just how many you have everyday encounters with. We have met stay at home moms, military, teachers, business owners, accountants, police, doctors, nurses, etc.

    As for the OP, if you are not comfortable with the idea then don’t go through with it. You both need to be 100% on board or problems can arise. If you have a good relationship and both trust each other and it’s something you want to do then by all means have at it. If not then maybe just talking about it in bed will be enough. Everyone is different. You both need to be able to respect the other persons decisions.

    Now go ahead and judge me and say I’m gay or going to hell or whatever you want because I don’t care what any of you think.

    • Anonymous
      June 19, 2014

      I understand everything you are saying, but the only thing I don’t get is why you think it’s necessary to insult people who possible would not agree with you, and do it multiple times throughout your message? Why to get so defensive? Nobody is judging you, but you judge your possible opponents quite a bit, I hope you realize that

    • January 30, 2015

      You say you know it is against the Bible. Then you say you don’t care. This tells us more than we need to know about you.

      Yes, it is against the Word of God and it WILL keep you out of heaven. If the Bible means anything to you at all I urge you to read Galatians 5:19-21. Note that verse 21 says “…they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

      You say you are a church person. Did you know this kind of behaviour is against the teachings of all but the most liberal of “churches”? If you go to a real church obviously you must keep your life hidden to the leaders and the congregation. Why do you go to church if you don’t agree with its teachings? Is it to make people think you are something you are not? You are a phony.

      What do your children think is going on with all these strange people in your bedroom? They may be young but the time will come when they will figure it out with the help of their friends.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International…

  4. Rev. Donald Hill
    February 14, 2013

    Miss Unsure: Your letter was posted a year ago. Things may have changed for you since then. But there are other people out there dabbling in this this kind of sinful behaviour. I will direct my words to you but they are for anybody who might benefit from them. The first thing you must realize is that you are sinning by having sex with a man you are not married to even if you refer to him as your boyfriend. When a man honestly intends to stay with a woman for the rest of their lives there is no reason why he wouldn’t marry her. Second, you would be risking the chance of contacting a disease, even AIDS. There is no 100% protection against these diseases when you are intimate with somebody who is not committed to you alone. Third, if your boyfriend thinks this kind of sex is O.K. how can you be sure he is not having sex with other women or even men? Fourth, how do you know your boyfriend is not pimping you? He may expect to receive money from the other man. Fifth, Did you notice how one sided it is? He wants to watch you and another man. He is not suggesting that you watch him and another woman. This is why some people are saying he may be gay. He may be “on the downlow”. This is a gay man who lives with a woman either because he wants a female housekeeper (the best kind) or he wants a cover to hide his gayness. Often when life becomes boring for these men – and it does – they want something new and more exciting. They are willing to experiment and will cross any line. We see this even in the lives of homosexuals who live alone or with other men. The desire for something different they’ve not tried before often drives them into unimaginable perversion and criminal activty. Sixth, this man does not love you. No man that loves a woman would share her with another man. Because of these facts you should leave him immediately! Relationships like this only get worse. They sometimes end in violence or even murder. Even if he backs off and says he will not ask you to do such a thing ever again you should leave. Why? Because you don’t want to carry this terrible baggage into the future with the man you are trying to build a life with. You don’t need to explain anything. Just go! God has a plan for you. He wants to make something beautiful of your life. Please get a Bible or a New Testament. Read these verses. Romans 3:10. omans 3:23. 1 Corinthians 15:3-4. St. John 1:12, and Revelation 3:20. Pray according to Revelation 3:20 and ask Christ to come into your heart and be your Saviour. Go to a Pentecostal church. Introduce yourself to the pastor. Tell him I sent you! Let a new life begin. Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

    • Ryan
      May 18, 2013

      John 8:7 “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

      It sure sounds like your doing a lot of judging for someone who is not perfect.
      Yes it is against the bible, but it is not for you to say that he wouldn’t love her or doesn’t love her. It’s not for you to say that it will lead to criminal activity or that it will only get worse. How do you know all of this about someone who you have never met? You sir are a hypocrite.

      • September 19, 2013

        Ryan: You ask how do I know these things. It has taken …

        Five years of Bible study and ministry training to become an ordained minister.

        A degree in psychology.

        A Diploma in Christian Counseling.

        A year as a paid counselor in a big health center in Toronto working with a team of health care professionals.

        Well researched articles on theology and social issues published in over 40 newspapers and magazines in Canada and the U.S.A. Many of these I was paid for.

        But mainly because I am a Christian who reads my Bible. The Apostle Paul in Romans 1:21-32 draws back the curtain and gives us an inside look into the world of sexual perversion. When Paul said those who are living this lifestyle are “…receiving IN THEMSELVES that recompense of their error…” (Romans 1:27) he was referring to the harm those commit these sins they do to themselves – MIND and BODY – by their actions.

        I know certain sinful practices sometimes lead into serious criminal activity because I have seen it happen and have worked with such cases.

        We can know by how a person treats another if he or she loves that person. True love does what is best for the other person even if it means saying NO to your own cravings. It is LUST not LOVE that causes people to satisfy your own desires when you know it will mess up another person’s life or destroy their soul. (And the Word of God tells us clearly that is what these sins do.)

        No Ryan, I am not a hypocrite. A hypocrite is a person who pretends to be something they are not or who secretly lives a double life. I admit I am not perfect. I have my struggles. Do I ever fail? Sadly, yes. I confess my sins as the Bible says we are to do in 1 John I:7-10 and Gods forgives me as He has promised He would. A hypocrite could also be somebody who pretends to know more than he (she) actually knows. I might make an honest mistake. Through the years it has happened a few times. But I try to be factual and accurate. The information I share comes from many years of serious study and work experience. Not very statement can be documented because some of what I share came to me in confidential counseling sessions or work with troubled people whose names cannot be given and whose identities must be protected. A little of what I know – maybe the worst of it – I picked up in jail ministry in Canada, the U.S.A., and Jamaica.

        We are not judging. A lawyer is not judging when he tells a client that a particular act is not legal. A police officer is not judging when he tells somebody it is a crime to do this or that and anybody who does it could be put in jail. A pastor or evangelist is not judging when he tells people certain behavior is sinful.

        Ryan, I can tell you feel strongly about something I have written. This is a good thing. God has a plan for your life. I don’t know you but I suspect you would make a tremendous soldier of Jesus Christ. Got a Bible? I leave you with 2 Corinthians 5:17.

        Please visit my website

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  5. June 12, 2012

    if he really loves you, that question wudnt hav even came up in da first place!

    • February 11, 2017

      A man who loves a woman wants to marry her. Why :?: It is called wedlock or wed-lock. This means he wants to lock her in :!: He wants to lock them both into a mutual agreement. He is willing to take that vow
      *Forsaking all others, and keep thee only unto her as long as ye both shall live.* He wants her to take that vow for him!

      As a minister I am a marriage officer and have performed many weddings. A wedding is a legal ceremony. It is registered with the government. A pastor who is going to perform a wedding will talk with the couple and explain the responsibilities facing them. At the ceremony he will pray the blessings of God upon them and their life together. It is a time of rejoicing!

      Added to this I studied to receive a pastoral counselor certificate and have worked on contract as a paid counselor in a large medical center in Toronto for one year. So yes I would know by reviewing this case that the man did not love this woman. No, this is not judging.

  6. Anonymous
    May 8, 2012


  7. dominican in L. A
    May 3, 2012

    yow my boy is a PIMP first the friend he trusts the next guy n the next the cycle would not end n when u see how far u have gone it will be in a KKK jam with u giving someone a blow job and gettin paid then u bring the money to him my boy a bosss n if u do it u will be a WHORE

    • May 17, 2012

      excuz me.. so if he pimping out woman and if unfortunatly she wants to plz her man and sadly fulls for his tricks she’s a whore.. u self lang….. u no the rest!!

  8. spy
    May 3, 2012

    Girl that thing boyfreind of yours don’t love you or he is GAY if not he needs to see a psychiatrist.

    • February 8, 2017

      The problem is likely all three of theses things.

      But more than any of them he – and also you – are lost in sin. You both need Christ.

      The Lord Jesus Christ suffered, bled, and died on the cross for your sins. He purchased your salvation so you can not only be forgiven, but so you can be cleansed, healed, and made new. Please read what the word of God says in Isaiah 53:4-6, and 2 Corinthians 5:17.

      You must believe this according to John 3:16,17, and 36. This is how to receive Him as your Savior, and experience that total transformation the Bible calls being BORN AGAIN :!:

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  9. Dawn
    May 1, 2012

    If you’re not comfortable with it, then don’t do it. You love him this much to lose your soul and your self with him? Hope he can handle it when and if you decide to do it with DUDE, and likes his leather better.

  10. str8
    May 1, 2012

    bella your are a hypocryte. you cheating on your husband and you over there talking bout someone being absurd. my girl your man give your what you want go head and give him what he wants, this is not the 70’s we on new things now.

    • February 8, 2017


      Stop talking nonsense.

      There is nothing new, modern, or up-to-date about such sins. People who live like this have a very old illness. They are people who do not have good marriages. If they have children they are sowing the seeds for some serious family problems. There is (or likely will be) alcohol and drugs in the mix.

      What you do in your own life is your problem. :oops: But at least have the class not to encourage somebody else to live this way. It is a life filled with guilt, heartbreak, and shame, a life of failure and remorse. :twisted:

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. (Pastoral Counselor Certificate)

  11. fair&balance
    April 28, 2012

    Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I observed and read and came to the conclusion that there is more sick persons out side than inside. Beff, Torie, BS, SEX,POLITICS,and a need to play expert on all dirty affairs seems to light up people`s eyes and the Good, positive and inspirational things are sometimes ignored talk about the times we all are living in? We all need our medicine for we are all sick,sick,people. Sound off!! waiting!

  12. Muta
    April 26, 2012

    woye woye woye well allu doing things….

  13. LR
    April 26, 2012

    if it walks and talks like a duck..guess what….its aflack??? NO!! its a damn duck….to me like many say you dont need to lower yourself to please a man….but question remains…what kinda woman are you for your “so-called” man to propose such to you??….first impressions last and if thats how you been offering yourself to the guy all respect outside long before you inside….i tell you man creepy these days…no time a man ask you such, questions arise..mister is a dutty foot man!!lol…now you need to play OBGYN check out he batty…lol lol

  14. Girlfriend
    April 26, 2012

    Maybe he’s a swinger, and she’s not. He wants to teach her a thing or two’ you never know.

    • February 8, 2017

      What about this boyfriend :?:

      He is a reprobate, and depraved wretch. But he is also bound by lust, and suffering from progressive perversion.

      He is first a fornicator in a sexual relationship in a woman who he is not married to. But worse, even with her ( :!: ) he feels inferior and is trying to bring her down ( :!: ) to his level.

      But there is something better for both these people. The Bible says God lifts the beggar up out of the dunghill and sits him among princes. This is what God does for the man or woman He saves. They only needs to acknowledge their sins, and believe Christ paid the penalty for their sins by his death on the cross, and ask Him to come into their hearts.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  15. labourite at heart
    April 25, 2012

    Alassss! Whyyyyyaaaayyyyyyaaaaay! Wooooooshhhhh. All you bad! All i peepeeing on me weee!

  16. Sha
    April 25, 2012

    You know… That boyfriend of your truly fits the criteria of a Pimp. they find girls and make the girls fall deep in love with them. Once they know the girl sprung, they asked that she sleep with a friend, just for fun. Then one friend turns to two friends. Before you know it, you making money for your man by selling your body. BECAREFUL little gyal!!! You do not want to start calling your man “Daddy”

    • February 8, 2017


      This is the criteria of a pimp. The desires of her own sinful nature have drawn this woman into the relationship she has with the boyfriend. We attract to us the kind of person we are ourselves. The problem is he is below her and he is trying to pull her down to his level to appease his guilt.

      Women who want to be respectable must avoid these kind of men because this is the psychology that drives them.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  17. honey suckle
    April 25, 2012

    ur bf seems to have a little sugar in his gas tank , if u get me, he seems rather “fruity”

  18. gwada angel
    April 25, 2012

    that not a good thing your boyfriend is not a nice person….i live in gwada and it have a lot off girl like you and next day they have to wacth them self on video and a sham of who they be… dont do that young lady and you a woman stop make man take addvantage on you ok….tell him go and turn prono u not in that and find you a man that love u

  19. patriot
    April 25, 2012




  20. Anonymous
    April 25, 2012

    my girl,your man 100%gay,which man wants to see their girl make out with a next dude..that’s just gross,n this means he doesn’t love u,if it was a next girl that whould have been different:-)that’s just messed up

  21. joe
    April 25, 2012

    i so want to do a threesome ,but i want two men but my boyfriend wants two women.

    • lisa
      April 25, 2012

      than have six some… you ur man and two women and two men everyone have a party

  22. jungle
    April 25, 2012

    Don’t worry with them. If you and your man tight and that is his fantasey then you give him his wish especially when he granted you yours. This will help your relationship with trust and jealous issues. I have spoken to swingers and they said that they are very happy in their relationships. All who I talked to have been married for a very long time. So my advice to you is if you guys are really tight and inlove then go for it.

  23. Hate ignorance
    April 25, 2012

    what if you enjoy it more with his friend than your boy friend would you be able to deal with that. THat could affect your relationship . I think he is testing you ,if you can have sex infront his face with another man what will happen behind his back? As a young man you would have failed at standing a chance of being my wife. Your boyfriend can later use that incident to show how slack you are if some other misunderstanding arise

  24. D D D
    April 25, 2012

    Ok babygirl love yourself first. You should never love anyone else more than yourself. You are not comfortable with it or you would not be questioning your decision to or not to go through with it. Secondly ask your boyfriend for you to chosse the person and see if he agrees. Thirdly what if the guy he chooses satisfies you more than your guy satisfies you. Personally am selfish and i wouldn’t want to see my mate with another man/woman. Also if you love me as much as I love you you would not want to share me and i should be able to fulfill every desire you have. You also mentioned that he satisfies your fantasies. Were your fantasies as crazy as his why you feel obligated to fulfill his? Or are you insecure in your relationship that you think if you don’t do it there is a probability that he may leave and find someone else who is willing.

    • susie
      April 15, 2015

      Im well on the kinky side myself and like girls as well but I cant stand the thought of him with another female and absolutely do not want another man.he keeps bringing it up and I am at the ends of my rope with him.How can I get through to hom that I am all the woman he will ever need if he just opens his eyes and looks at me and he can stay away from the web and porn.Help me please,its aweful to have someone but feel all alone.Ms.Sad and Lonely

  25. ann
    April 25, 2012

    WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND THAT? It’s obvious that the guy doen’t love you…..i mean which man that loves and cherishes a man so much and to watch her with another man?

    Stupes, it’s obvious mr watching too much pornography, you self so stupid, you not seeing the man doe love you and he wants to make you a bitch? like he said, it will be someone he know….you not seeing it’s a plan to use you? i see a line up comeing, girl run,run,run for your life,wiseup!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. PICK ME!
    April 25, 2012

    I not even reading… JUST PICK ME! I will give DNO my INFO for you OY! wow… I want to feel what it is like to be watched too!

  27. OAT
    April 25, 2012

    I see some nasty comments here. The girl is asking for help, and she needs some good advice, given in a nice way. She has her doubts, that’s why she is here. To me it seems like a fading relationship. Girl, take a break and think about what you want to do with your life. If you give after for your boyfriends fantasy, you will surely regret it sooner or later. Breaking up isn’t easy when you are deeply in love and has been in this relationship for such a long time

    • ggood
      April 25, 2012

      sexing two man is great exercise go for it

  28. Small Boss
    April 25, 2012

    My girl, think of it. He would not LOVE’ you less. That’s only because he DOESN’T LOVE’ you at all. Not one once. You need to seek new love. Some respectful dude. Another thing, if he persists, tell him it would be done under one condition: he sleep with that same man FIRST, while you watch. Be very careful, ‘HE MAY WELL BE A BI-SEXUAL.’

  29. OAT
    April 25, 2012

    Tell him at once that you don’t want to do that. Try to get out of this relationship. This man doesn’t love you the right way if he wants you to do this. He has become more like your pimp. And think about what the next fantasy would be, and the next … I really feel sorry for you. When you love a person, and he puts you in this position

  30. sayodityodit
    April 25, 2012

    Now what sort of man would be encouraging his woman to have sex with another man while he watches? …..only a psychopath and you my dear lady not easy nuh for bringing soemthing like that to the attention of bella. If my boyfriend should ever ask me to do something like that I would think right away it is time to end that relationship you don’t love me. period.

    • Anonymous
      April 25, 2012

      Welcome to the real world of sexual fantasies. My bf and I did a threesome and nothing has changed between us. It was something we both wanted to do and I picked the girl, who is one of my closest friends. It’s unusual for guys to ask for an encounter between their girl and another man but it happens. Some women ask for other guys too and the man may not be comfortable with it. If both partners are ok with it I see no problem. If she feels uncomfortable with it then she shouldn’t do it. It all depends on the persons in the relationship and who the outside person is. Some of you are too narrow minded. Different people have different feels for different things.

      • Pusina
        April 25, 2012

        WHosss papa you make zamie infront your man.. whossss u should be ashame papa sal nasty crate..LOL

      • Realtalk
        May 25, 2012

        what if your man tell you to suck a dog’s penis will you do it?you have no morals why do you think that your boyfriend wont marry and he might just like your girls pussy better than yours,haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

      • March 25, 2013

        So you and your bf have had a threesome and nothing has changed between you. Obviously, it did not improve things did it? Seriously, the reason nothing changed between you is because things could not get worse. You are both losers. The reason you stay together is because you don’t want to be alone and you know nobody else wants to take a chance on either of you. People who live and move in the “low life” sector of society naturally know others who live this alley-cat existance. They are comfortable among their own and consider it a normal alternative to married/family life. Believe me it is not. It is a life of alienation, brokeness, loneliness, and pain. It is a lifestyle that spawns alcoholism, drug addiction, despression, and violence. But have GOOD NEWS. You don’t have to stay in that prison of your own making. Walking across the centuries comes this man called Jesus who is standing now at the point of your need ready to wipe your slate clean and give you a new beginning. This is not religion. It is all about a real person – the risen Christ – who still heals sin sick souls, delivers, and sets the captives free! Please visit my website in the right margin click onto EAGLE COURSE. You will find my 12 Lesson Workbook. It can be studied from the screen or copied absolutely free. The very first lesson will tell you how to receive Christ as your personal Saviour and begin the the new life! Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  31. Original Eagle-Eye
    April 25, 2012

    Fantasy is one thing, reality and the repercussions are another. To me the mere fact you stress how you will do anything for it, and that you are on the fence states clearly it’s something you are giving consideration.

    All you I doh know if is tired I tired, out of touch or just bias, but I finding lately some of the things that people are settling for or getting tempted with rather strange and demeaning. Haven’t we all seen a million stories of how these fantasies end sweetie? What sweet in goat mouth sour in in rass karmem so carry on!

  32. April 25, 2012


  33. kb lyric
    April 25, 2012

    FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-x

  34. April 25, 2012


  35. Justice and Truth
    April 24, 2012

    Some boyfriend. This is disgusting. Your so-called boyfriend is morally and spiritually sick. This includes mentally-so. He is a pervert. Who are you and what are you doing in the company of such a person? This is not love. What he wants you to do is appalling. He is not in love with you and has no respect for you. In fact he has no love in his heart. A man who loves a woman would not ask her to do such a thing with another man and watch while she is with that man. Get rid of him! Forget him! There are better men you could associate with who will have respect for you.
    You would do anything for him? If he asked you to commit a crime would you do likewise? Would you be willing to go to Hell for him and to bring him down with you for all eternity?
    It is said that those who go to Heaven bring others up with them. Those who go to Hell bring others down with them. Woman, choose the path you want to follow for your happiness and peace of mind or not. If you like yourself and want what is best for you, you will follow the straight and narrow path which leads to Heaven.

    • January 29, 2013

      JUSTICE AND TRUTH: Thank you for your sensible and well written comments. It is difficult to imagine people being so depraved. The boyfriend does not love this girl. Like so many other “couples” they are not married but are in a sexual relationship. This is called “fornication”. The Bible says “…he that commiteth forncation sinneth against his own body”(1 Corinthians 6:18) and “…they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:21) Unfortunately, when people violate this very basic and fundamental (God given) moral law, especially when it becomes a lifestyle, they sometimes have no problem taking things to the next level if they don’t truly love the one they are with. Had this woman known the Holy Scripures she might have known her boyfriend had no regard for the laws of God and was capable of anything. Obviously, to him she is only a sex object and he is using her to vent his lust. She would be foolish to think he is not already sinning with other women and possibly men. She did well refuse his proposition. Because (a) she is living in sin, (b) this vile creature is not a a man she would want to be married to, and (c) she is in a very big danger of getting a STD, even HIV, she should literally RUN him. No need for final goodbyes or farewells. Just begone!
      I pray that someday soon – before it is for ever too late – both his lady and her boyfriend will make Christ their Saviour. He will forgive them and make their lives entirely new. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (St. John 3:16) Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  36. north
    April 24, 2012

    No love there.As a man if a man even think of his woman with a next man is problem far less.RUN RUN RUN and I mean now while it to late,you never know.

  37. ?????
    April 24, 2012

    woman go look for someone who loves you. This man will use you as a toy, then you will be dumped.

  38. .
    April 24, 2012

    If i ever have a man and he tells me such, then that’s it for him. This is debasing a women to the gutter!

  39. poe-ki-toe
    April 24, 2012

    uhhhh another guy in bed with …hmmmm..that’s a no-no for me………another girl maybe??? but babes if u aint comfy with the idea just let him know nuh? or ….u can flip d switch on him n see how he likes it nuh? tell him u wanna have a girl in bed with u ALONE n he’ll only get to watch….see how he takes it lol

  40. injustice and unfair
    April 24, 2012

    If I were you I would be ashame to mention that farless to put it on social media. This is sickening to the stomach. What is wrong with this lost generation. God help us!! With so much STDs out there and you all still not taking heed. Girl turn your life around and ask God for repentance and serve him, ask him to lead you.Pray for a descent man that will respect you. But remember you have to respect yourself first. You have very low self esteem. You definitely need to work on that.

    • Rev. Donald Hill
      February 14, 2013

      Dear Injustice and Unfair: You have made a very correct evaluation. I am just as appalled by this as you are. The fact that the lady put this on the social media tells us she has lost all sense of right and wrong. But the one thing that troubles me even more is the fact that my own research shows this is far from being an isolated case. This kind of behaviour (and worse) is spreading like a cancer – no – like many cancers in society. I am suggesting two possible answers. One is to preach the gospel – the true gospel – that calls people to genuine repentance and faith in Christ and produces the new creation we read about in 2 Corinthians 5:17. The other is to make the Biblical and scientific knowledge of the destructive nature of these perversions available to the public. The right kind of education would go a long way in reducing the spread of these harmful practices. Parents, teachers, pastors, columnists, editors, and counselors all need to get aboard with us in an effort to teach people from an early age the logic and benefits of living by God’s moral standards. It will take a concerted effort to pull our generation back from the brink. Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  41. true dominican
    April 24, 2012

    This guy is not ur boyfriend,because as much man cheat (having sex with women)never want to believe or even think of de idea of the woman they love with someone else,girl rethink about being with him…..get someone who wants u all to their self…..

  42. April 24, 2012

    zor, dominicans never cease to amaze me with their hypocrisy. They are the same ones who like to watch those same acts in xrated films, they are the same ones who say they dont suck this or that on d block but behind closed doors is another story. me lay band hypocrites.

  43. Observer
    April 24, 2012


  44. crazy
    April 24, 2012

    Hey girlfriend. Just one comment. I am a man and trust me this guy wont love you the same after this. no man wants his woman lying with another guy. fantasy¡¡¡¡. Your relationship will never be the same. I suggest you dismiss this fantasy all together.

  45. The truth
    April 24, 2012

    Honestly if my woman want another woman in our BED that’s fine with me but NO other man with my woman HELL NO.

    • ,,,,,,,,,,
      April 24, 2012

      go and pray.Maybee your rubbish mentality/thinking will go away.

    • OAT
      April 25, 2012

      So what’s the difference ?

  46. honest
    April 24, 2012

    For one thing you reaaly need to look out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is very likely that your man is going to join in on the fun. Before you know it he will be having sex with that guy too and believe me you will be too shocked to say or do anything. Your man may just be gay. If je really loves you believe me he would not want to share you.

  47. April 24, 2012

    so wha.he mussa cayh hard eh? and him wa help. kal me nor.911 !

  48. (.) (.)
    April 24, 2012

    Girl, tell that GAY , lENTILS EATING boyfriend of yours to go do his nastiness with his well trusted other gay friend of his. Don’t degrade yourself for someone else’s fantasies. Yes people do have fantasies but a real man would not like to see his woman with another man unless he is gay or bisexual. LOL… next thing when you do decide to fulfill his fantasy, his friend will be moving in and you guys will live happily ever after. Hope you will be the only one wearing the skirts and the bras because I smell a little fish. Another thing, ask him if he tried it with his friend or any other male

    April 24, 2012

    :twisted: :mrgreen: This island seem to have alot of sick and lost people!For the woman to believe the man that he won’t leave her is crazy!Who man in his right frame of mind truely loving a woman would want another man even if it’s his favourite and best trusted friend to be intimate with his woman?Woman,u better find out whether this man and his friend are involved in buggary and want to use all their nasty vice on u :?:

  50. April 24, 2012

    I say to each his own.I have the feeling that u have already granted him the wish of a threesome with another woman and that he is just pushing for something freakier.We all have fantasies, some we are scared to even examine all because we do not want to be labled or ostracized by society.Saying this to say that u need to keep a balance between possibly being used,and keeping ur selfrespect intact!

  51. Defense Attorney
    April 24, 2012

    I for one am a SUPER FREAK, i see nothing wrong with him asking for such, the only thing is she has to be comfortable with it. if i ask my partner to bring a fantasy of mine to life and they cant all i have to do is live it in my mind or watch it on T.V!I remember my partner and i were thinking of a 3some for years, and one day when we had forgotten about it we found someone who was willing to do it and it came to pass. If the love between them is strong enough then they can make it through this

    • (.) (.)
      April 24, 2012

      If your stomach full, would you go looking for food elsewhere?. Unless if you just greedy and never satisfied. Think about this

    • Justice and Truth
      April 24, 2012

      @ Defense Attorney

      Defense Attorney, eh? You are a sicko. :twisted:

      • September 19, 2013

        When he stands before God he will need a “defense attorney” but he will have none.

        The judge will hand down the verdict based on the evidence of a life of sin and Christ rejection: GUILTY!

        Then the judge will pronounce the verdict:


        The trial will be based on the laws of God. there will be no appeal. He will be judged according to what is written in the BOOK.

        The good news is that there is still time for him to turn his life around by the grace and power of God.

        The Bible says:

        “…behold, now is the accepted time, behold, now is the day of salvation.”(2 Corinthians 6:2)

        “…the blood of Jesus Christ (God’s) Son cleanseth us from ALL sin.”(1 John 1:7)

        “”…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved…(Acts 16:31)

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

    • Anonymous
      April 25, 2012

      Tell them again!

    • Rev. Donald Hilla
      February 22, 2013

      Defence Attorney: Unless you created yourself you must have had a creator. How is it you don’t have enough sense to know that the creator has the sovereign and exclusive right to tell the created ones how to live? In the philosophy of my faith there is one supreme law giver in the universe. He has ordained human government to rule over us so we can have order in society. If our government puts laws in place that are contrary to – or against – what we read in our Bibles we can declare those laws nil and void. But it seems you are a man who refuses God’s laws: a man with neither a map nor a compass. When this lawless mentality influences a man’s sexual behaviour we soon have one twisted sick pervert! No parents would want a man like this to babysit their children. So as an evangelist I am committed to teaching that God’s model for marriage – indeed the only true and valid marriage – is one man and one woman – togther as long as they both shall live in a monogamous relationship to the exclusion of all others. Please read the following scriptures: Romans 1:21-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:19-21, and Hebrews 13:4. Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  52. Rule
    April 24, 2012

    I am baffled at the magnitude of disrespect towards you as a woman. This has nothing to do with fantasy, rather than a self-centered, lowlife good-for-nothing so-called boyfriend who wants to gain sexual gratification by witnessing his woman having sex with another guy.

  53. cyaan cross it
    April 24, 2012

    all of allyu wrong u doh see mr doh loving mamsel he just fooling her all now d man dere setting up a line up on u gurl. when him an his padners tired wit u is just drop u and take their kicks. lol

    • What?!
      April 24, 2012

      Cannot be a line up if is just one man. You dunno what a line up is man? 5-6 seven fellaz going bamboo house and de girl know what she going for.

      • cyaan cross it
        May 2, 2012

        you doh know how line up working man. it starting like gurl is just me and my padner. as one come out another one going in an she cyan say shit cause it done in progress already. where allyu come out na? not roseau?

  54. Unbiased Successor.
    April 24, 2012

    GIRL!!!!! Please do not lower your self any more than you have already. Its OK sharing his fantasies with him that’s as far it should go. However,on the other hand would your man want to share the doze of STI caught from his friend the other guy.-BEEEEEEE VEEEEEEERY Careful Please.

    In a nutshell I am being to see that he is pimping you as his Hoar and this is illegal. Get out now before its too late.

  55. Toosense
    April 24, 2012

    First of all I don’t know why u are even asking for advise on this. From the time the man said this you should have slapped him in the face and just walked away. You have gots to even come on Bella to asked other people’s opinion. Are u crazy? Girl wake up and smell the roses. The man’s fantasy is to have sex with another man and he is trying to get u involved. That man does not love you, so don’t do anything you are going to regret later please.

  56. Pusina
    April 24, 2012

    WHOSSSSSSSS well look torey papa. Bella this discussion/advise commentary becoming more and more Sal papa. Soon your advise board will turn into a porn site.

    But But which man will sugguest his woman have sex with another man and he watching.. I think mister like it both way..whosssssssss just saying

    Getting back to you bella this is becoming the kind of dabar you keeping on on DNO i need to talk to the PM about that..LOL

  57. April 24, 2012

    Run girl Run, you are out for trouble and am sure you to young for that. life is to sweet……and to short.

  58. well! well!!well!!!!
    April 24, 2012

    RUNNNNNNNNNNN as fast as u possible. I remember being in a similar situation, i went ahead for the sake of pleasing my man, he brought his best friend. 2 day later the best friend was pursuing me, when i told my boyfriend that his friend is calling me to meet him in private, my boyfriend turn the table and said that I was a nasty bitch and just want to f—- his best friend behind his back. What a ting. Plz i beg u, if u are for real, dont dont dont. You will end up the laughing stock in the boys quater.

    • Justice and Truth
      April 24, 2012

      @Well! Well!Well!!!!

      This is a real Dear Bella column. Why in your sane mind would you agree to such a thing? Such men are dirty rats. Likewise women who agree to such and indulge in same. Decent men/boyfriends do not ask this of their girlfriends. Decent women do not give in to their boyfriends’ satanic whims and wiles. He is a scamp and a scandalous person. When this is proposed to them they should immediately tell the man off in no uncertain way and walk away. I do not suggest hitting him for it is against the law to hit others.

      • ayay_ay
        April 26, 2012

        We all make mistakes – some more terrible than others. At least she is now much more aware and has the experience to advise the woman in question. Don’t judge! I’m sure she feels bad enough as it is.

  59. Fan
    April 24, 2012

    This guy is a pimp so my girl run as fast as you can. A man just seeing his woman talking to a man sometimes a friendly conversation and when she comes home is murder she wrote you telling me this man is willing to watch u have sex with another man, girl that man is sick, he is a mad freak so get out of that relationship before it is too late.

  60. Voice From The North
    April 24, 2012

    This guy does not love you. He is just using you, you fool. You are just a sex object to him. Find another man who loves and respect you.

  61. SMDH
    April 24, 2012

    Girl tell him your fantasy is to see another man do him while you watch. The man does not love you if that’s his fantasy. I can understand a fantasy of wanted to watch a man and a woman have sex but not a man and MY woman. suppose every other week he want that fantasy now and is a different john everytime? don’t you think your the hoe and he’s the pimp? girl use your head and end that

  62. PJ
    April 24, 2012

    Bela sometyms ur advice is questionable how can u advice someone like.Thats a straight NO.gals dont allow that if he insist question hes love for u and start thinking abt whats best for u and not him.He doesnt love u ofcourse

  63. Gee
    April 24, 2012

    Your level of stupidity is frightening because you said, ” I would do anything for him ”
    He wants to share you because he has no real love or respect for you. I bet he would not want to share his mom with his dad and another guy !

  64. shy
    April 24, 2012

    So if you guys vvere married, then he is asking you to commit adultery.Ebain zor say tee fee dominique sa la sort papa.

  65. April 24, 2012

    Massacre women look out somebody is watching u all lololol.Anyways young lady don’t do what this nasty man wants u to do .

  66. princess
    April 24, 2012

    i had the same problem
    allu have to do is dump him

  67. H_town
    April 24, 2012

    he sees u in Acton when u do it.y he needs to watch another man forest run.

  68. serena
    April 24, 2012

    He’s into stuff that you don’t know about. watch your back. and if he’s so comfortable with the infidelity in that way, you should ask yourself some serious questions.

  69. Anonymous
    April 24, 2012

    i doh think the man gay. i think he not in love with the woman as she is in love with him. i think that him asking for that is proof enough the he is just a player out for a good time

  70. wanna know
    April 24, 2012


  71. Holiday Island Man
    April 24, 2012

    Fantasy number 1. What’s numbers 2,3,4,5,6 etc. etc.?
    Seems to me that this guy is addicted to porn,and find it difficult to appreciate or enjoy being part of the real thing.

    • Realtalk
      May 25, 2012

      I support you 100%,this guy is addicted to prn and now he wants to fulfil his fantasies in real life,he need to leave if you love yourself

  72. jubo
    April 24, 2012

    the guy is damm gay girl run run run

  73. fire
    April 24, 2012

    dear Unsure like belle says two side to a coin i would demand the same thing from him u pick the worst looking of your friends tell him its one of your fantasy to see him in action or say yes to it but tell him you want to choose the man yourself.

  74. Francis Chicago
    April 24, 2012

    I wonder what kind of girl are you for a man to talk to you like that.Just wondering?.

    • Justice and Truth
      April 24, 2012

      @ Francis Chicago

      You are so correct. A man who has loves a woman and has respect for her would never make such a statement to her and expect this of her. Well, the world has all types of strange, immoral and disrespectful people and he is one of those types who fall into that category, the lowest of the lowest.

  75. Anonymous
    April 24, 2012

    Your boyfriend sounds like he is conflicted and confused about his sexuality. I really believe he is using this fantasy wish to fulfill his true heart’s desire to engage his “trusted” friend in sexual activity. If you give in to his wish, he will not be satisfied and will continue to make more indecent proposals. At least you now know some of what lies in his mind so beware. Shut him down and tell him to haul his a**. Preserve your dignity, you will find another true love. It’s obvious that this dude only cares about himself.

    April 24, 2012

    This guy is testing you or he found out something about you that you think no one knows. He’s interested to see how far he can push you. I can bet $$$ the friend your boyfriend wants to watch you with is someone your BF knows you like in secret or have flirted with or hooked up with behind his back. Men are not stupid; if you say yes the relationship is doomed. I’ve put girlfriends to that test before and from the time they say yes, I put them in ‘salop’ category and treat them as such because I cannot trust their nastiness. A woman needs to have boundaries and self-respect its part of the long-term attraction a man needs to stay with you. If you’re acting like a salop he’ll treat you like one. Monday it will be Tom, Tuesday its Dick, Wednesday its Harry after his friends finished with you then its strangers then before you know it you’re a poloquette (rag doll). Respect yourself and move on.

  77. african queen
    April 24, 2012

    All i can say to to friend is DO NOT DO NOT he has NO respect for you and himself,what if u tell him the reverse he would say HELL HELL NO NO.and i MUST TELL U IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES I WOULD DUMP HIM THE SAME SEC MIN OR HOURS IF HE SAID SO TO ME HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU HIS AN ANIMAL.

  78. TrixTreat
    April 24, 2012

    I find that fantasy hard to believe and I am shocked and stunned. For how man ‘macko’ as we would say in Dominica, I find it hard drink that pill of him wanting to watch the woman do it with another man. Men don’t even want flies to pass by their woman, is watch they want to watch them having sex with another man? Awa drop Mr like a hot potato because he has a problem!!!

    • KAYA
      April 24, 2012


  79. JD
    April 24, 2012

    Sorry unsure but your man is “happy”. Don’t trust him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  80. Anoushah Alie
    April 24, 2012

    for one; he does not love you, because a man in love will never ask his lady to do something like that! Another thing; please stop with the “I am willing to do anything for him” that is a dangerous statement, and if you do this “fantasy of his” thing, he will push you to do more, and more, and more disastrous things! Finally, this man that you’re “madly in love with” is not in love with you, and YOU need to find someone else!!

  81. G$MONEY
    April 24, 2012

    From a guy piont of view, I personally don’t want to see my woman having sex with another man. Maybe he like guys to, he might me undercover brother.

    Say that he get turn on and want to join, what is he going to do with his girl and the guy? He has fantasy of doing another guy. Thats his excuse to do the guy he knowns and trust. ?He maybe did that guy alrady.

    Ask hm that you want to see him do another girl and see what he said.

  82. Anonymous
    April 24, 2012

    8-O @ stern…you killin me wi pal thats classic on another note what if this trusted person spreads your business all over and most of all boast that he wanked your girl … girl if your not sure then dont do it ..& too what if u and ut bf fall out & he trows it in ur face.. std ,hiv,& aids is very high &wat if condom breaks!

  83. Good to go...
    April 24, 2012

    He is a freak…a super freak!!!!! Lol girl you in for a wild ride heheheehehe

  84. KISS ME
    April 24, 2012

    my girl if you do this your man will look at you in a new way. he will all i mine all say you did that for me you can do that with out me!!!!!!!!!what if you like that other man cok come on a sweet cok is hard to fine. and if that one is sweet what are you going to do? think of it. a sweet cok or your man mad nest

  85. charlo
    April 24, 2012

    Your boyfriend is as straight at Elton John at the Playboy Mansion. 8-O

  86. Way Papa!
    April 24, 2012

    Girl, No. Doh do that. Mr. testing you. Tell him you want to watch him and another man have sex. Then watch his reaction. Some of those closet gays just want to be able to vayay another man’s tingaling bold-face.

    • hhhh
      April 24, 2012


    • LR
      April 24, 2012

      lmao lol lol….lol.lawwwd lol a true …i was gonna write bout that but u did lol

    • (.) (.)
      April 24, 2012

      LOL….all he has to do is load his room with mirrors and watch himself naked

  87. sweetee poo
    April 24, 2012


  88. Eve
    April 24, 2012

    Your boyfriend must be really “happy” to want you to do a thing like that!

    Please for the sake of “womanhood” tell mister “NO SAH”… Afterall.. Curiosity did kill the CAT!

  89. under the radar
    April 24, 2012

    cuckold lol, its a human thing at times. weird but it does pop up in lots of people’s heads.

  90. Stern...
    April 24, 2012

    But most of u women…especially those from Massacre, go out and sex other MEN behind u’ll partner’s back …so what’s wrong with doing it with him right there in the room ?

    • Hold Up
      April 24, 2012

      Take it ez on Massacre please! Good! Not all Massacre woman so! I vex! One does not speak for all! Rubbish!

  91. Denise Joachim
    April 24, 2012

    Stupes…….dats dam bull. Are a ‘WOMAN’or just a effing FEMALE?????? Wouldn’t even waste my time to ask for anyone’s opinion of that nonsense. Both u and your partner are sick people. I believe that u are accustomed to tolerating his that’s why he would even suggest that shit to u. I don’t know who u are but I’m so effing annoyed.

  92. LR
    April 24, 2012

    hahahhaa…[email protected]……hmmmmm my girl fantasy or not you are being tested….dont be a fool….men are too selfish for that and no man wont want his woman being “daggered” by another friend or not….smfh..dude eh have respect for you…these days i dont see why some women kill themselves to satisfy man….tsk tsk tsk..

  93. Anonymous
    April 24, 2012

    Girl take your foot in your hand and run fasttttttttttttt not even bolt should be able to pass u ………………….oh something just cross my mind ask him to do the same while u watch lets hear his response don’t be nobody slut my sister if he wants to be a pimp don’t make him use u

  94. Anonymous
    April 24, 2012

    i think you should spice up ur sex life because ur man need good sex,so show him you dont need to sex another many position it has girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! give it to him he will never want you to sex another man.go on the beach move from the room thing.

  95. jerseydominican
    April 24, 2012

    you crazy girl to be thinking of doing that with so say your boyfriend right you turn it around for him and ask him you have a fantasy too and see how he is going to take it you need to walk away from this man his does not love you to ask you to do that we have one time did that with dating not someone that say the love you or you call your boyfriend

  96. April 24, 2012

    gyal d man mayb all want 2 test u 2 c if u really love him u wont do it.just tell him if he really love u then dont

  97. Ezio Auditore
    April 24, 2012


  98. jane
    April 24, 2012

    dont do it am telling you that thing will always be the words of his choice when you and him ague he will be telling you that and making you feel stink so the best thing to do is leave his behind as fast as you can and tell him find him a bimbo to do his dirty work that a more men out there

  99. over seas
    April 24, 2012

    When you all have your stupidness hold it for your self. Nasty

  100. zor
    April 24, 2012

    To do it, or not to do it? Now that’s the question. lol.
    My girl all you have to do is make up a story about you kissing another man and you will see how he will react. De man will go west! Then you will simply say : “you see how you flip for a lil ting so but you want to sit down and watch me someone else! Dat cannot move!”

  101. angel
    April 24, 2012

    chica he nah love you

    • miss
      April 24, 2012

      true say. she is just a sex object! no man who really loves his woman wants to see her with another.

  102. Coco Cola Girl
    April 24, 2012

    A real boyfriend/husband/partner would NOT be comfortable with that idea, much less instigate it! He would hate the thought of you being shared with another man. He would be ‘selfish’. Don’t trust this guy!!

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