I am 17 years old and I am in a three-year relationship with a young man who is 22.
He lives in my village and we love each other a lot. Where you see one, you see the other. We are like fowls following each other.
I have always wanted to have a baby since I was nine years old but I managed to wait up till now.
I have tried getting pregnant purposefully without any success because of my desire to be a mom. After a while, I thought that I could not make children because every month I tried but did not succeed. I love children and I really want one of my own.
Before you are going to give advice about responsibility, finance, age etc, I have already taken all of this into consideration.
I may seem young but I am very responsible, my boyfriend works and can support a family.
But at times, when I think of it, I say I need to go to a “head person” because I may just be crazy.
I want to move out to go live with my boyfriend but I can’t because my dad is paying for my college fee and I don’t want my boyfriend to pay for it, so I am hoping that if I do get pregnant, they’ll kick me out.
What is your advise?
It appears that you have your life well planned out!
Because nothing in life is guaranteed, I will show you a picture in life that happens 95% of the time with young people.
You will have this baby with your teenage love and take a break from college to have your bundle of joy. Then you will move in with your boyfriend and your darling will support his new little family. You will be totally dependent on him because your parents will be mad, they would have thrown you out of the house as you wanted and maybe the relationship that you all have will not be too well.
You will have only your boyfriend as your support system so it is possible that if he does not support your ventures you will leave them alone and not get too far.
As baby grows and responsibilities pile up, and even possible that there will be more babies as you like them so much, you will put your college on the back burner and take care of your family.
As you get older and realize that boyfriend may not be as supportive as he used to be, you will work very hard to get things back to those youthful days of love and joy (and it is really a fool’s paradise to think that life will come back to where it was before the children). The relationship may then go through irreparable hurts and you may separate. A young mother with two children and not much education…hmmm…the world is not always fair to such people.
I hope you will try to re-create my story and stay in school and focus on your education, build yourself up as a young lady..become independent and then pursue your family. You should never intentionally try to hamper your relationship with your parents or with your support system. Build relationships. A wise person focuses on building and not breaking.
As you are having problems conceiving your own child, why don’t you focus your energies in tutoring some children in your village, in being a big sister to them. Some children already on earth are in need of good guidance and if you feel called to be a mother, mother some that are already there while you build your future.
All the best
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