I am a teenager and I want a baby

Dear BellaI am 17 years old and I am in a three-year relationship with a young man who is 22.

He lives in my village and we love each other a lot. Where you see one, you see the other. We are like fowls following each other.

I have always wanted to have a baby since I was nine years old but I managed to wait up till now.

I have tried getting pregnant purposefully without any success because of my desire to be a mom. After a while, I thought that I could not make children because every month I tried but did not succeed. I love children and I really want one of my own.

Before you are going to give advice about responsibility, finance, age etc, I have already taken all of this into consideration.

I may seem young but I am very responsible, my boyfriend works and can support a family.

But at times, when I think of it, I say I need to go to a “head person” because I may just be crazy.

I want to move out to go live with my boyfriend but I can’t because my dad is paying for my college fee and I don’t want my boyfriend to pay for it, so I am hoping that if I do get pregnant, they’ll kick me out.

What is your advise?

Teen

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Teen,

It appears that you have your life well planned out!

Because nothing in life is guaranteed, I will show you a picture in life that happens 95% of the time with young people.

You will have this baby with your teenage love and take a break from college to have your bundle of joy.  Then you will move in with your boyfriend and your darling will support his new little family.  You will be totally dependent on him because your parents will be mad, they would have thrown you out of the house as you wanted and maybe the relationship that you all have will not be too well.

You will have only your boyfriend as your support system so it is possible that if he does not support your ventures you will leave them alone and not get too far.

As baby grows and responsibilities pile up, and even possible that there will be more babies as you like them so much, you will put your college on the back burner and take care of your family.

As you get older and realize that boyfriend may not be as supportive as he used to be, you will work very hard to get things back to those youthful days of love and joy (and it is really a fool’s paradise to think that life will come back to where it was before the children).  The relationship may then go through irreparable hurts and you may separate.  A young mother with two children and not much education…hmmm…the world is not always fair to such people.

I hope you will try to re-create my story and stay in school and focus on your education, build yourself up as a young lady..become independent and then pursue your family.  You should never intentionally try to hamper your relationship with your parents or with your support system.  Build relationships.  A wise person focuses on building and not breaking.

As you are having problems conceiving your own child, why don’t you focus your energies in tutoring some children in your village, in being a big sister to them.  Some children already on earth are in need of good guidance and if you feel called to be a mother, mother some that are already there while you build your future.

All the best

Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at dominicanewsonline@gmail.com. Dear Bella is published on Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.

Disclaimer: The comments on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of DominicaNewsOnline.com/Duravision Inc. All comments are approved by DominicaNewsOnline.com before they are posted. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • violate or infringe the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or include personal attacks
  • are abusive, profane or offensive
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are excessively long and off-message

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.

103 Comments

  1. August 20, 2014

    I am only guessing her circumstances based upon what I have read in her letter but it looks like –

    This girl was raised without the influence of a church and Sunday School OR the church did not impact her life in any significant way.

    There was little or no parental control (a) since she was allowed to date at 14, (b) She was allowed to date a man five years older, (c) It seems she was sexually active at 14 because it is unlikely that a 19 year old man would otherwise be dating her.

    There is a glaring absence of parental guidance in her home if a girl in her mid teens is allowed to spend this kind of time alone (she has been trying to get pregnant) with a man five years older than herself.

    She is obviously confused and demonstrates an inability to put a plan together. She says she has already taken into consideration such things as finances and age. But she expects her father would not pay for her education if she moved into with her boyfriend yet she doesn’t want her boy friend to pay for it. She doesn’t say who would care for her baby if she is in college. Not likely her then estranged father! Not her boyfriend if he is out working to
    support them and pay for her education! She wants a baby yet shows no desire to get married. NOTICE: she says she wants to move in with her “boyfriend” NOT her husband! Marriage is not one of her values. It is not even on her radar. What kind of home was she raised in?

    She has been with this man for three years letting him use her body yet it seems he has not mentioned marriage. Is her self esteem that low? Does she have no aims, or goal in life? No idea what she wants her future to look like? This man is not even offering her the one basic thing every girl longs for: her special day, namely her WEDDING day, and a MARRIAGE!

    She knows so little about human relationships she doesn’t realize that this kind of man would leave her in a heartbeat if she became ill, the two of them became too expensive to keep, he met somebody he liked better, or his own goals in life changed.

    Why else would he not marry her and make it legally binding? Obviously he wants a way out. This is something Teen is not thinking about at all!

    Nearly a year has passed. Much may have changed since her letter was posed. Unfortunately there are other young women out there equally confused and misled. I hope some of them will benefit from my comments.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.

    older,

  2. YALERIE
    February 19, 2014

    Wanted a baby at age nine,
    that’s not typical for a girl that age.However there may be more going on than you’ve Said. Stay in School my dear, God has a Plan for You. Best of luck.

  3. Shanrai
    November 22, 2013

    I can understand the need to want a child. However, you do not want to have a child and be solely dependent on your boyfriend. I am sure you two love each other but with the pressure of raising a baby you will no longer be so carefree.

  4. November 20, 2013

    Children do best in a two parent home.

    A two parent home is a home with a mother and a father. None of this nonsense of having two Moms or two Dads.

    Children do best when BOTH parents love them and want them.

    Children do best when they learn that their parents honored God by getting married before living together, and got married before beginning a sexual relationship.

    This is information parents are never ashamed to share with their children!

    Children turn out best when:

    Christ is considered the Head of the home,
    The unseen guest at every meal,
    And the silent listener to every conversation.

    Children turn out best when:

    there is a “family altar” in the home where the Word of God is read and prayer is offered,

    when Mom and Dad are the most important person (next to God) in each others’ life,

    and when the children are taken (not sent!) to Sunday School, and the family attends church.

    Former F.B.I. Director J. Edgar Hoover said, “A child brought up in Sunday School is seldom. bright up in court.”

    A man and woman who are not willing – and ready – to provide this kind of a home for their family are not ready to have children.

    A baby is not a doll or a pet. It is a human being in the image of God. It is a creature of eternity.

    A woman is never any closer to God than when she enters the valley of child birth to to partner with God in the miracle of creation.

    There is no greater blessing and no responsibility more awesome than parenthood!

    Mother, if somebody asks you what you do, never say, “I am just a stay at home Mom”. There is no higher calling!

    By Rev. Donald Hill, D.D.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  5. dominicaneedhelo
    November 18, 2013

    i think that you people instead of bashing on the girl,just probably try and think of how she seeing it. it’s clear she needs some kind of support. not the whole of Dominica trying to eat her raw! i think that this was a brave move to put her issue on dno

  6. birdy1964
    November 14, 2013

    Girl are you mad. Do you finish with your education. girl life is not only having children and cannot take care of them. He builded you a home for a family. do he have an income to support you and the baby. girl wake up. that day you get pregnant he will leave your sorry ass. People who think like you put this country in poverty, girl go get a life. Join a church you and him hand in hand and take care of the elderly, sick,the disable. and you will see how the great god will keep your young mind busy. girl friend do you read this woman baby who is sick with his heart. this lady have 3 kids she said she loss one by land slid. she don’t want to lose this baby.so so sad, the operation cost 4000.00 eur, she pick up 5.000 ec dollars. government help with what god’s knows. she have to fine the balance on her own. do you what to be in that position. girl you think that woman feel good begging for help. is a hard road to be a mother.I am not seeing any father along side her with the poor baby.Only her and the poor sick child.

  7. 20 yr old
    November 14, 2013

    i 20 yrs and all want to tie my tubes just for me not to make children yet..i eventually want.. but i mean 20 is just too young for me.. i going college and work only on a weekends.. them babies not cheap… so i need to be well established in life first…i take all my sister and brother children and do like they are mine… one live with me and that is my child self.. anybody that ask is mine..soo dear child take a neighbor child or ur family member and make them your child ur not ready for ur own

  8. advisor
    November 13, 2013

    Its funny the things some people make their goals in life. My little advice to you 1.get an education 2.get a job 3.get married 4. get a family real good advice honey

  9. November 13, 2013

    Hello and good evening. Well young lady the first thing is to get a good education so you will be able to support your self. Also you said you have been in this relationship for three years and you are seventeen years therefore you was fourteen when this relation started. Well you cannot consent to sexual intercourse therefore you are a statutory rape or sexual misconduct victim. So before you go and get pregnant make sure you can support yourself and the child you want because we can’t take care of you and the child you want.

  10. Anonymous
    November 13, 2013

    all i see is a set of negative comments a feedback, and these days all i read from belle is negativity, i had my baby right after cxc an right now im currantly doin nursing at DSC my baby is well taken cared of, her dad an i are still together an my future is bright. some ppl think bcuz one is young they cant do right dont get me wrong my advice is not tellin u to go have a baby its sayin think hard talk to your parents an ur bf together cuz at the end of it all they are the ones who gonna be there for u not belle of ppl commentin an always remember education is important.

    • was epileptic
      November 14, 2013

      this isn’t a negative comment or feed back.. it doesn’t mean that because things are working out for you now as you planned it will work out for everyone the same way.. what if she forces to get pregnant her parents put her out the boyfriend isn’t ready for children and runs for his life.. what is this dear young 17yr old going to do.

    • Anonymous
      November 14, 2013

      So you saying because it working for you still that she should go ahead? how old is your baby? I am giving you a few more years, he will get a woman with more than a nursing certificate from DSC soon.

    • Anonymous
      November 14, 2013

      I think you are trying to cover your guilt with this post. You know its not the right thing to do whether its working for you now or not. You are at DSC doing nursing not because of your intellect but because you need a job, but good for you because when he leaves at least you will have something. Hope you dont end up like so many who cry about working and still broke living from hand to mouth.

  11. I am Free
    November 13, 2013

    Girl get married first.

  12. November 13, 2013

    well I mean that’s a good girl :lol:

  13. mamazafa
    November 13, 2013

    So many people just screaming and shouting at the girl. What is you people’s problem?

    My girl make 10.

    • MeCamem
      November 14, 2013

      mamazafa, why did you not take your medication today?

  14. Cyrique
    November 13, 2013

    Darling I believe that by coming out publicly with this yearning for a child at the age of 17 is a cry for help. I feel for you. Many people will have their say and it’s really important that you think of the comments – both constructive or otherwise. My advice is that at 17 the most important thing is to ensure that you get a good education, then a good job , travel and once you’ve tasted what the world has to offer then think of settling down with your beau (if he’s still around) The world is your oyster!! Having a child at this tender age is a huge responsibility. He’s been with you for three years and no marriage proposal??? Baby? What baby?????

  15. November 13, 2013

    Teen:

    Bella has given you good advice. The comments that
    follow also contain good advice although some of it is poorly presented. Please allow me to add a few thoughts.

    (1) Almost all (maybe all) of the commentators said your desire to have a baby at this time of your life is wrong. These writers are men and women. Most of them have lived longer than you. They want to help you. Don’t you think it would be wise to listen to the voice of so many?

    (2) Obviously your father does not approve of your relationship with your boyfriend because if you left your present home to live with your boyfriend he would discontinue paying for your education. Why not trust his judgment in this matter?

    (3) You are 17 and your boyfriend is 22. You have been in a “relationship” with him for three years. Does this mean you have been having sex with him for three years? I don’t know what “the age of consent” to have sex is in your country. But if you were under that age three years ago your boyfriend was breaking the law. This means legally he is a criminal! He could be in jail! You may not have known back then about the “age of consent”. But your boyfriend is five years older than you! Very likely he knew! Ask yourself “What kind of man would do a thing like this?”

    (3) In your letter there is no mention of marriage. It seems (and I can only judge by your letter) that marriage is not in his plans. A man will not buy a loaf of bread if he can get a free slice when he wants it. Teen, can you not see that this young man is thinking of himself without considering what is best for you and your future?

    (4) A baby obligates you. If more babies follow they obligate you. But if this man is not married to you the baby or babies do not obligate him. He can walk out anytime.

    (5) Once you have a baby the chance of you getting your college education is slim. If your father kicks you out it is not likely he would pay for your education OR raise your child while you go to college. Your boyfriend may not want to pay for your education. Even if he did he’s not going to stay home and raise the child while you go to college!

    (6) You are not thinking clearly. On one hand you say you don’t want your boyfriend to pay for your education. On the other hand you say if you become pregnant you hope your father will kick you out. Teen, if your father kicks you out he probably will NOT pay for your education. Either your boyfriend WILL pay for it or you will not be going to college!

    (7) Teen, the world is in a terrible mess today because people have refused to live by God’s laws. Some nations and societies are in worse condition than others. You may not know this. Or you may not care which is even worse. Sex outside of marriage between two people who are not married is a sin the Bible calls “fornication”. You can read this in Romans 1:29-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9.10, and Galatians 5:19-21. The Word of God is very clear in Galatians 5:21. It says, “…they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

    There is a better life. You should run from any man who would keep you from following the better way. We have all sinned. But when we repent (turn away from our sins) and receive Jesus Christ as our Savior, the precious blood He shed on the cross washes our sins away and we receive a new beginning. Please check out these verses in the Bible and ACT upon them! Acts 3:19, Revelation 3:20, 1 John 1:7, and 2 Corinthians 5:17.

    I invite you to visit our website

    http://www.livinghopeministries.ca

    If you click onto SERMONS and then click onto THE NEW BIRTH you can listen to the sermon that has helped thousands of people around the world find a whole new way of living! Listen to it all. Pray the prayer. Then click onto the EAGLE COURSE for our 12 Lesson Workbook Manual for New Christians. It can be studied from the screen or copied ABSOLUTELY free.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal evangelist.

  16. Da self
    November 13, 2013

    Bella… I FEEL THESE DAYS ALL YOU DO IS MAKE UP STORIES.

    • November 13, 2013

      DA Self.

      Hello you must understand that Bella is the one writing the articles to generate interest and feed back.

  17. Malgraysa
    November 13, 2013

    You want a baby? The question is, does the baby want you? Stop thinking of yourself first and consider the future of a child that did not ask to be born.

  18. Anonymous
    November 13, 2013

    baby? my girl i even feeling sorry for you. 17 and u thinking babies? take a grip and thnk my girl. its so sad. but its a good thing u ask for advice first :-x

  19. overseas
    November 13, 2013

    girl u better think about finishing school going to college or uni then getting a decent job……..after all of that revisit the baby thing……

  20. 2 CuTe
    November 13, 2013

    child go in your books..

  21. whoopi
    November 13, 2013

    hahha them comments there is pure jokes… :lol:

  22. Advice
    November 13, 2013

    My dear, I have a small business and I was raised in Mahaut a community you can be whatever you want to be, my family worked hard to meet out needs event it looked like we had it all. Left over food with blue dashen, coucumber, smoke balawe and caco tie, every one eat for the morning and went to school. After school we went to garden to collect wood for the next day fire. We never new what collage was, today all children needs a collage education to meet the challenging world. I became a business woman in the struggle and I am still holding on. I adopted one baby girl and she is my responsibility just the same if it was my birth child, my dear, the same attention and care has to be taken, some do encounter problems with the original parent and that has its own reasons, I legally adopted her and there fore giving me the full responsibility to help her through life. After all is said am hoping that you will give your self a little more time to develop your self and life earnings because as I have already mentioned I earned a business, but caring for her is not only money but time and love, understanding and to be an example because they are looking at what we do, we say and respond to every situation. How will you help he/she education if you don’t complete yours? I ended up taking afternoon classes and that was hard because I had to work to pay it. so I can ADVICE you but cannot compel you to do. Bring your matter to God, he will do the correct thing for you. Be bless my dear.

  23. keeping it real
    November 12, 2013

    Get a doll or better yet baby-sit pro bono for struggling mothers to occupy your idle mind. Babies are forever, boyfriends come and go.(Employment can be lost at anytime) When you personally can support (financially etc.) a baby that’s when you have a planned pregnancy. Really, finish your schooling. Take heed to your failed attempts its a sign to wait.

  24. Nancy
    November 12, 2013

    i think you can wait it out some more my girl.. TAKE YOUR TIME, UR ONLY 17!!

  25. umustbemad
    November 12, 2013

    first of all if u in a 3 year relationship da man should be in jail secondly u really should get ur head checked if at 9 years you was thinking of havin a baby thirdly wen u go and ve a baby n u doe finish school wat u bringin d child into poverty huh????wat if the man leave u after u ve d child where u might c a life 4 both of u after u ve a baby he might nt cause he dont want all dat pressure young gurl go to school and learn so u can b sumbody i wish i had d opportunity to finish school and have a good relationship wid my parents

  26. FIRE........FIRE....
    November 12, 2013

    You already have the solution to your problem, Bella hit the nail right on the head..just read between the lines…

    But a few words of advise…. some of us did not get the chance to go to college not even high school, because our parents could not afford too..you have that chance, if your so called boy friend LOVE you as you boldly said, he should build you up not break you down, and by saying that I mean he should have stopped you from the beginning when you started playing house, planing babies like a married woman…you’re not even of age to drink a cold kubuli beer.

    You should stop watching Maury, it is a TV show not real life…

  27. Drew (18yrs)
    November 12, 2013

    meet me in school by the gate at 12:50. let me slap some sense into you. girl… u can give me the college money wii. my parents doe even care to pay my fees. is my grandmother that gwayehing to give it to me… allu young… when he finish use u and give u lugage and carryon… is one of ur peers with the degree u forming the ass for he going and pick up. smh 8-O

  28. raindrops
    November 12, 2013

    its not easy being a young mother I’ve been there I think you should forget about that baby story and check your education make yourself and your family proud

  29. November 12, 2013

    My dear get an Education go to collge he will leave you when you get pregnant for a younger woman that’s what men do u too sort

  30. wonderful
    November 12, 2013

    Today’s men like smart,educated women,not breeders.Where does your interest lie?In a steady family relationship or childbearing.Who wants a woman who tried hard to move away from her family?In a relationship family support is key.Remain in college,Read about relationship building,plan a good life for you and your partner,work hard,save some money ,then have your baby.

  31. Jayzey
    November 12, 2013

    wow, I am really wondering if someone actually wrote this or was it made up? But anyway we have that extra special love for kids until we have our own. don’t get me wrong I love my son to bits but when you don’t have any kids its a whole different ball game. when that child starts to fuss and cry and get sick you cannot give him or her back to the mommy. You are young, take your time and get your education and your career and then think of a family. I know sometimes its easier said than done but take my foolish advice. Enjoy your youth to the best that you possibly can in the meantime.

  32. Holiday Island Boy
    November 12, 2013

    The two of you may be like fowls, but a child is far from being a chicken,free range or otherwise.

    • Anonymous
      November 14, 2013

      Now that was brutal but this child needs a beating on her head…since she nine she has wanted a baby…she is responsible and she eh thinking of marrying before having that baby?

    • AA
      November 15, 2013

      OUCH!!! That one was rough…but true….LOL!

  33. November 12, 2013

    Dear Teen, Get 6 children, let they circle of poverty continue, Sort :-D

  34. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    Advoice: Learn proper grammer…

  35. forreal
    November 12, 2013

    i wonder what they teach in college those days?because i can not believe that a college student have the gull to come on a social media such as BELLA,and a very famous one to,and express her college education level,well sa

  36. sherry
    November 12, 2013

    my girl.. life is short u nt yet even start livin life… if he love you he will wait until marriage.. so enjoy your young life.. children is money.. use the money u have to better ur life an nt go an spend ur money on pampers an ur stomach empty….

  37. sugar
    November 12, 2013

    Since at 9 u wanted a baby? waw! and u still saying you want to get pregnant so your parents will kick u out? my girl some of us well wish we had the opportunity to attend college and u want to form the fool with your education? Unbelievable!
    Lord protect my generation

  38. say sa mem
    November 12, 2013

    I duz always hear my mother say educasiour say pa lespwie. You say you are in college.Are you for real?

  39. ha ha ha
    November 12, 2013

    Girl go and learn to wash your panties you there talking about you wants to have a baby.You are still a baby.

  40. Guidance
    November 12, 2013

    funny 2 things in the world i wanted the most was to beome a oncologist and baby… i tried to get pregnant but never did then i found out i could not…. it so happens that i got a full scholarship to get into any school i wanted and to study any thing… if i had the baby i would have not been able to go cause when you have a baby. its no longer about what you want its all about the baby so please take your time and wait.. get and education beause you are way too young.

  41. Ann Derass
    November 12, 2013

    Young girl, go find a life in school. You working?

  42. UDOHREADYET
    November 12, 2013

    the mere fact that you are living with your parents and they are paying for your college should tell you about your situation. additionally why do you think people go to college and what is your purpose in life… if you haven’t figured that out yet then try focusing on that and see where a baby fits in. You live in a village… that life is alot easier and simpler because most of the day to day responsibilities and concerns are offset by your family and environment. Lastly if you feel the need to ask about having a baby, you may want to take a family planning course to be educated properly in terms of the responsibilities. Just for your information.. having a baby will not help you keep your boyfriend, you are young and young people tend to think they know everything which is the greatest flaw of being young, you should be dating different people or focusing singularly on your books not trying to force a commitment with a child. UDOHREADYET.

  43. Yeah
    November 12, 2013

    You are not too dumb after all, because you asked for advice. Well you got a lot, maybe more than you want to read. Be wise and pursue your education before falling into a dark abyss. Save yourself some heartache.

  44. ............ :/
    November 12, 2013

    You’re still a baby!! :-?
    This coming from a baby, which is me!
    Take time to grow, experience, and live!

  45. dominican
    November 12, 2013

    you sound like a messed you computer chip…hehhheee

  46. dominican
    November 12, 2013

    young lady i was going to call you an idiot! but i guess u are just a little uneducated. You definitely need a double dose of education by the time you are done with DSC. please finish school, get a ggod paying job to pay back your parents for all they have done for you. Than you can talk about baby.

  47. Ras
    November 12, 2013

    One word:

    DAMN-FOOL

    • Aizen
      November 12, 2013

      that’s two words

      • london DA
        December 7, 2013

        hahahahahahah you remind me of the past police chief statement (one word auto-rubbish) hahahahahahaha…. woye allu will kill me on dno

  48. westgirl
    November 12, 2013

    Are you serious? Sweetheart get real and reconsider. Education is more important than anything else so please take your time, study hard and get a real job. Work , travel and enjoy the world before getting yourself tied down. You will have years ahead to make as many babies as you wish. My advice to you is to make your education a PRIORITY PLEASE!!!

  49. Marigot
    November 12, 2013

    U need some help and serious counselling.

    email at stuppescommes.hotmail.com

    I will setup an appointment for counsel and advice. This does not look good

  50. Strakel
    November 12, 2013

    Hmmmsmh awa wii … da not makin no sense wat’s so eva .. !! No comments :-|

  51. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ok im gonna stop ha ha ha ha ha ha. sorry this is just so ridiculously funny. I mean is she for real, i dont meanto be insensitive.But this young girl is clearly mad. UNBELIVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  52. Antigua
    November 12, 2013

    WOW sad ! # 767

  53. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    I had my daughter at 21, and I wish I could have waited longer. I love my daughter to pieces, she is a beautiful, awesome gift… But it is difficult to take care of a child, especially when it gets overwhelming and the dad walks out. Just be patient, and everything will fall in line

  54. Peeping Tom
    November 12, 2013

    Get a puppy or a doll.

  55. .........
    November 12, 2013

    … people must understand that the iron fist doesn’t always work, sometimes you leave people live and learn… and sometimes they learn sometimes they never learn..
    …So my girl go right ahead and have your baby, triplets even, pop some fertility pills You’ll deal with the consequences during and after pregnancy. If that’s you want, go get it.

  56. trolol 2.O
    November 12, 2013

    Another reason why most people don’t want daughters.

  57. unknown
    November 12, 2013

    Get a life little girl…..u parents shudnt b payin college for u ur man shud b doin tht……u stil young n stupid……babies comes with responsibilities………..

  58. annoyed at our youth
    November 12, 2013

    :( my girl your an idiot go school and learn….. dat can not be your dream u need to be independent babies can wait….

  59. Listening
    November 12, 2013

    You think you want a child? Come babysit my two year old for a weekend! You will be singing a different song by Sunday morning!

    • YAH MAN..
      November 12, 2013

      i wished i could like this comment more thatn once back to back… gurl wake up and smell the coffee

  60. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    Quote: “I want to move out to go live with my boyfriend but I can’t because my dad is paying for my college fee and I don’t want my boyfriend to pay for it, so I am hoping that if I do get pregnant, they’ll kick me out.”

    If that is your reasoning young lady, then your reasoning is ridiculous. Why not finish your schooling and then get a job. Later you get married and then start thinking of children. Children fare better of in a stable family.

  61. Krazy
    November 12, 2013

    ofcourse if u do get pregnant ur parents may kick u out, ur college bills will get interrupted and education will be on hold… stay in school, stay at home, continue with ur boyfriend if he really loves u.. ting with those young men.. they wit u as soon as u get pregnant they starts seein other women and tats where headache starts. my girl take it easy er.. baby will come when the time is right

  62. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    By your own words you definite are not ready to be a mother: when I think of it, I say I need to go to a “head person” because I may just be crazy.”

    If you truly were ready to have a baby, you would not need neither father nor boyfriend to pay for anything or rely on them or anyone else for that matter to provide you with anything. WAKE UP YOU’RE DREAMING!!

  63. sandy
    November 12, 2013

    I remember growing up I felt this way a few times. But after careful consideration I had to put myself first.Babies have great responsibilities behind them. Also you want to be able to give him/her what he or she wants, and don’t have to be totally dependent on your boyfriend. My dear, even though you have children with a man…just remember “men are like money…here today gone tomorrow. The baby might just remain your soul responsibility. Finish your schooling…find yourself a good job …then after you can consider having a baby.

  64. Tell it like it is
    November 12, 2013

    Dear Teen,
    We have all made mistakes at some point in our lives. It is good that you have expressed your feelings. Some girls your age would not talk. Now that you have asked for advice, I hope you will listen to the numerous comments that have been made. Please stay in school and get a good education. Children will come in due time. Also, think about the effort and sacrifices of your parents to educate you. There is no guarantee that your boyfriend will stay with you after the baby is born so please, dont throw your life away.
    God bless you.

  65. YAH
    November 12, 2013

    17yrs what u doing with man and even want baby.. girl go to school and get a life of your own be independent then get married to that man if you all really in LOVE..DON’T PUT THE CAT BEFORE THE HORSE..if allu love each other then allu will wait for each other cause love is all about sacrifices not emotion its doing what is best for the one u say u love even when its not what they want at the moment.

    • November 14, 2013

      The man is not in it for the long-haul. He is doing nothing to help build a future together for the two of them. There is no mention of him suggesting one thing that would be in her best interest later on.

      What kind of man is he? He is a man who took advantage of a 14 year old girl probably because he has a problem relating to women his own age. He continues to have sex (commit fornication) with this single teenager.

      Young women hope for certain things in life even though they may not get them all. They’d like an education, a job, security, marriage, a home, and children.

      This young lady is giving her body away which is the only thing she has to barter with. This man is a taker. He is doing nothing to help her reach her goals or build a future. And why should he? A man like him does not buy the cow if he can get a free pail of milk.

      This is why sex before marriage is so wrong. It is an activity entirely oriented towards the interests of the man – giving him everything from sexual gratification to bragging rights – and exploits the woman. It steals her time, keeping her from dating other men, one of whom might become her husband. It gives her no marriage and allows the boyfriend to break off the “relationship” at any time leaving her with nothing but perhaps a child or two to raise. This will make it even more difficult for her to find a husband and establish a two parent family.

      God’s plan for love, marriage, sexuality, and family must be exemplified in the homes, taught in the schools, and reinforced in the churches. A high percentage of people – even church goers – do not know what the Bible says or how much it says about these things. Those who obey God and follow His laws avoid the scared lives, loss, and pain that comes from doing things our own way.

      Parents, teachers, and pastors let me share a thought from a wise old sage of the past whose name I do not know.

      “If we address and oppose every evil in the world except the evil that is current we are failing our generation.”

      Unless we accept and pass on God’s plan and pattern of right living for success we are going to be a society in ruins and fall like ancient civilizations before us.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill, D.D., Pentecostal Evangelist.

  66. hmmm
    November 12, 2013

    i am trying to make sure what i just read is true , 8-O is she serious????????????? things already rough and tough in this country as a seventeen yr old u want a baby? i am 22 with no child and im not even ready for a kid despite all the love i have for babies.so tell me when u want to go carnival or fest or a triple kay jam,will you still be singing the same song,lil girl which you are still,go to college finish your college, get your degree and a 9 to 5 and then talk about having a kid, RIDICULOUS!

  67. Jay
    November 12, 2013

    You have the answer to your own question “I can’t move out to leave with my boyfriend, because my dad is paying for my college education”.
    Do you think when a young man want to buy himself a pair of shoes for the next sewo session he going to remember to buy milk, cereal, pampers, sanitary pads, wipes, text books and you may want a blackberry; who knows. Think again!

  68. Nills darroux
    November 12, 2013

    Is she living in the real world,i dont have any children and i thank god for that because in these hards time we are living in dont want any child to go through .you are only seventeen

    • Anonymous
      November 12, 2013

      tell her Nills,she definitely doesn’t live in the real world at all.. because she still leaves with her parents.

  69. November 12, 2013

    I had my baby at 16 if I cud do it over I wud wait… Not that I regret her…. And the scenario bella gave is not the case for me as in that me and my boyfriend are still together I became finacially stable he works and my family and his family are both very supportive but as she said its 95%…. I fell in the 5% but do u really want to challenge the odds? The feeling will pass I would advise you to redirect those feelings…. You love babies and want one of yours that’s great but in due season…. For now there are hundreds of babies in dominica that need a shred of that love. I am not sayin to adopt I am sayin while you are at college find a major that will lead u in the direction of social work or nursing or even teaching…. Another thing everything happens in God’s timimg the fact that you have tried and it has not paid off is that its not your time… I have heard of women dr said were baren and had their kids at 50…. So take your time a baby aint running anywhere… Don’t make the illusion of all the pregnant women you see in town fool you that budle of joy comes with a tremendous responsibility that not even people who think they are ready and have age, money etch are ready for…. My advice WAIT!!!!

  70. Not happy anymore
    November 12, 2013

    Its better to be independent my girl. God will bless u with a baby when the time is right

  71. November 12, 2013

    Well said belles..I fully endorse your response to this teen. Loving kids doesn’t automatically qualify guarantee that you are equipped to take full responsibility for another being. after all u cant even take care of yourself right now. Daddys still paying your way through school. Just focus on being fully independent before considering raising a kid. when they say that a baby changes everything they meant it! it aint all a bed of roses.

  72. Charger
    November 12, 2013

    Dear Teen
    Go to school and learn so u can be a better woman. Times aint getting easy and having kids isn’t a walk in the park. Enjoy the special times wit yuh hubby and get to know him better.

  73. Hmmm
    November 12, 2013

    Eh?? Is she serious??

  74. Behave
    November 12, 2013

    Dear Teen
    Go to school and learn and get all this nonscence out from your head. The economy is hard and having kids isn’t easy. Child relax yourself and enjoy your youth before I come and give u two blass in yuh head. BON!

  75. Anonymous
    November 12, 2013

    Young lady I would appreciate if you would take the advice of miss bella. This is very strong advice. It’s a pleasure to have children but it’s not easy bring them up. Once again please pounder on the advice of miss bella. Your have a world ahead of you. You’re not getting pregnant is the work of God. You are to young.

  76. saywat
    November 12, 2013

    Femme ca pas ni bon tete…plain and simple.

  77. yessah
    November 12, 2013

    Only advice i can give you. Is finish ur collège first. Get atleast that degree my girl. N then have ur baby.

  78. papa met!
    November 12, 2013

    wey papa..

  79. Massacre Girl
    November 12, 2013

    But what I hearing dere with mamselle nuh?!?!?!? 8-O You have your whole life ahead of you, having a baby should not be on your mind little girl. Pleeeeaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeee finish your schooling, get a job, do something with your life girl, babies will come after. Although babies are a blessing, it should be at the right time, you are still young, things are not getting cheaper, enjoy your youthful days!

  80. Love I
    November 12, 2013

    Check yourself first….finish college, you have plenty years to make a child and when you are ready, u are not ready now….take your time you might regret it…

  81. angel
    November 12, 2013

    girl child wont make man stay with u. as soon as u have that child he will leave you and move on to the next woman.I’m suggesting you continue your college education and get a job. think about your father u are only going to throw his money down the drain.

    • Drew (18yrs)
      November 12, 2013

      would think she would want good for herself.. but come on

  82. Cupid
    November 12, 2013

    Child go and sleep eh!!!!! choops man!!!!

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available