NICE GUY’S return prevents national crisis

OK I am back. I had to come back because my absence would have led to some national crisis.

I was being missed so much that I understood Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit was planning to officially call for my return, the president was planning to designate every Friday a public holiday and Opposition Leader Hector John, UWP President Edison James and UWP Political Leader Ron Green were planning a walk-out from the next House of Assembly sitting in protest of my absence.

I am important aren’t I?

I was so missed I even understood Speaker of the House Alix Boyd-Knights was planning to call on all national women groups to rally for my return.

Don’t even talk about DNO Publisher Merrick Andrews; the normally cheap-stake was doing all he can to get me back. You all know, I am the only columnist who could stop writing and submitting articles whenever I want and return whenever I want.

Of course Mr. Andrews was pissed. But he had no choice. He offered me all kinds of incentives: lunch at KFC every Friday courtesy of DNO, organization of a threesome once a month, and several million Jamaican dollars every three years. But nah, I was not interested. I take three months vacation every year. Now it is up, I am revved up to start writing crap again. And stop whining because you know you enjoy reading my crap.

I would like to send a shout out to my 2010 Friends of the Year, Schuyler Esprit based in the USA and Charlene Cadette based in Antigua. These two ladies love my crap… And if they were only pretending, who cares?

I am not gonna start my first column writing about anything special until next week. This is like a re-introduction.

I understand that a dude (or is it a girl?) called Mouth of the South, a regular blogger on DNO, loves my column so much he is willing to share his girlfriend. No disrespect, that’s what I heard. Don’t kill the messenger because I am not the creator of the message. Not that it’s a bad idea but don’t want you to think I am rude.

I would like to hail up Lennox Linton, who I understand was planning to do an investigation about my whereabouts, but caught up covering Skerrit’s dual citizenship situation.

Anyway, I have to go now to tie out those goats. They haven’t been fed since Christmas Eve and I forgot to tell the lawn man not to cut the grass at the side of the house where the goats are tied. But the goats know I normally make it up to them.

See ya next week guys. Today’s column was just a warm-up to get the females wet and the male (hmm not sure).

Bye.

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50 Comments

  1. kixx iz nuffin
    July 3, 2012

    the goats know u normally make it up to dem eh…. pa melee mon ka gardeh ou bo kabwit mon >.>

  2. 4eyes
    March 31, 2012

    when are u coming back ?
    i miss your posts!

  3. nice gal
    March 21, 2012

    i wonder what you a going to make up with the g

  4. SaylC
    February 28, 2012

    yep…really missed ur crap nice guy!.. looking forward to next week’s column…

  5. tea
    June 10, 2011

    hey nice guy …. I know your story…. man you not easy… but i will be waiting for you next week. Just have to laugh at you … you are such a ____ lol

  6. Why????
    February 1, 2011

    What is going on with your articles Mr. Nice guy? I miss your weekly articles! Please come back. We need your laid back humor in todays serious times. What’s going on DNO? Please bring his articles back.

  7. Bluetonic
    January 26, 2011

    hahahahhahaha so long i waiting for mr.nice guy to come back….dude have a kixx and dont lie you all. He has a special way with word. Gets your emotions running lol…see how he making you all mad haha…there is nothing to be mad about just enjoy the article people..a little laughter never hurt nobody…Let freedom of speech reign

  8. Nicole
    January 22, 2011

    OMG Mr “Nice Guy”. you’re full of yourself. I mean pshhh, u think u that important. well honey, wake up & smell the coffee, u weren’t missed that much. BTW you’re not anonymous to me.

  9. Typical Dominican
    January 15, 2011

    but wait.. i was so lookin forward to this friday article and he doe even write na.. stupess.. mwe fashay

  10. Truth, Justice, Love, Peace and Unity
    January 8, 2011

    He better have something educational and inspiring to state. This is what articles should be about. Otherwise I will not read his comments and bypass them. If I do read one it maybe only once to see what he has to state. I am not one to read nonsense. Why waste God-given precious time to read nonsense? I will wait and see.

    ADMIN
    MADAM OR SIR. Why are people so foolish? Newspapers should give balanced diet of news and information; some satirical, humourous, outrageous, serious, funny, etc. Publications publish information that must cater to all aspects of the population. Nice Guy has his fan base – a large one too. Sometimes he ticks them off, educates them, entertains them. The site is boring with just news news news. As a news organisation, we must mix it up! If you want educational articles read Health Talk provided every Wednesday, Alive Word religious column on Mondays and Fridays, and a long list of others. You’re not obligated to read. Stop complaining and just skip over it. It’s 2011!

    • Typical Dominican
      January 8, 2011

      I agree with you Admin!

      • listening wind
        January 9, 2011

        not only i agree with you Admin , i will also say that” they” think because they”cap” truth,justice, love,peace and unity they heavy and have a right to dis people.they just one of the persons Chubby talks about in his song” flase prophet”, they write a lot of sh—- t and say nothing and think people listening to that, i guess by now most people just by pass their S h t.
        Nice Guy i hope you have a word or two for that, Blue Vex or Red with Rage succker.

        • Lizavier4Jesus
          January 9, 2011

          The above comment is the sentiment of one person. Yes, unfortunately there are many “false prophets”; but God has also chosen “true prophets” to serve Him–as He does His work in the lives of the people He loves, through those prophets. I hope that as you and “most people” choose to by-pass their message, you and “them” are not by-passing God. That is a fatal–deadly– by-pass; believe it or not!

          That is the reason Jesus said: “the door of the gate that leads to ‘Eternal Life’ is a narrow door; only a few will enter”.

    • Lizavier4Jesus
      January 9, 2011

      Administrator, I have already said thanks to you for the privilege of a variety of information through your news site. I read whatever interest me; I comment on what I understand and is related to, pertaining to the theme of the article. I thank you for posting almost all of my comments.

      I am sure that most your readers are thankful for this blog. Remember that you cannot please everyone. I do not comment on every article of Mr. Nice Guy; but he is witty and I love that about him.

      People please remember, that God wants us to live. Abundant Life means enjoying all aspects of living; just make sure you put God first on your list, that He might guide your ways all day and each day.

      • Truth, Justice, Love, Peace and Unity
        January 10, 2011

        Utilize your common sense. It all depends what it is all about. Can we learn something godly, educational and inspiring from it?
        I recently heard a comedian on TV. He made me laugh; others not. I tune them off with no fuss. What suits one and a few does not always suit everyone. What pleases some people do not please others. However, it is freedom of speech, like or dislike, to approve or disapprove. If articles and/or jokes do not impress us, it is our prerogative to bypass them. This pertains to you and everyone else, the many DON readers. It may not be necessary to comment and criticize them. I will not waste my God-given precious time to state that I do not like them. I will read them for once and if I am not pleased I will simply not read them again. This is what life is all about, an ungoing education for the better, to enhance our knowledge. However, everyone needs a good laugh.

    • Truth, Justice, Love, Peace and Unity
      January 10, 2011

      This was not what I meant. I, too, love a variety. Hopefully the type of language used will suit everyone. We will wait and see.

    • Dominican Star
      March 16, 2011

      I agree, people complain for no reason what so ever. we need a but of humor in like,
      Truth Justic Love peace and untiy you need balance

  11. a big joke
    January 8, 2011

    I suspect it was the dear bella article about the girl cheating on her man that bring mr. nice guy out. I know that was something mr. nice guy would have wanted to touch on, that is if he did not do so under some other name.

  12. listening wind
    January 8, 2011

    come down my man!we need breez like yours to blow away some of the writers who feel D N O is there for them alone, if you not on there side they either “Blue Vex” or”Red with Rage”, but thoes of us who are by the river or sea side,will just wet ourselves and be refreshed, because your $*%t is always hot. MOS always raise some people pressure, but he tried to fill in the gap, and to me he is not doing a bad job at that.you guys need to go on a four some, you bring your*^t and he bring his and you guys butt heads and drop more booms on them sideliners.i will be listening, even if some people blue vex that the wind is listening.

  13. Karkabeff
    January 8, 2011

    National crisis? Garson that thing really went to your head. If Skerrit dual citizenship and alleged theft from the treasury (bin bobol et al) did not trigger a national crisis then nothing will. Anyway, welcome back my friend and keep your hands off Mouth of South woman. I await your first article with baited breath. Hail Mary Full Of Grace……

  14. A lover of Mr. Nice Guy
    January 8, 2011

    I just love this guy…although sometimes i get irritated and upset by some of his articles but then again what can i say the truth normally offends lol :lol:

  15. Why?!
    January 8, 2011

    I am so glad that you are back. It’s been way too long! Let’s not do that again, ok!

  16. Le Boucher
    January 7, 2011

    Nice guy stay away from the goats boy before u say they reverse on you.we want no mousse this new year.Hahahaaaaaaaaaa woyyyyyyyy aa.

  17. Twinkle toes
    January 7, 2011

    Well, it was about time Mr. Nice guy :-D

  18. KOKAY THERE
    January 7, 2011

    haha nice guy u have kicks

  19. Typical Dominican
    January 7, 2011

    Mr. Nice Guy you were really missed. welcome back!
    Can’t wait for next week friday.
    btw ‘mouth of the south’ commentin so much on dno he even make name for hisself wi and have nice guy talkin bout him lollllllllzz… koool
    :-D

  20. Geuelle Boucherie
    January 7, 2011

    The army wanted you back, so you had to come back to check your DNO. Three months holidays are not sufficient because the goats had enough grass with all that rain that was falling while you were away. You had to come back for your jacket so you check your DNO to see if they were the goats you left behind. Welcome back! :lol: :lol: :lol:

  21. Geuelle Boucherie
    January 7, 2011

    The army wanted you back, so you had to come back to check your DNO. Three months holidays are not sufficient because the goats had enough grass with all that rain that was falling while you were away. You had to come back for your jacket so you check your DNO to see if they were the goats you left behind. Welcome back! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  22. Lizavier4Jesus
    January 7, 2011

    Welcome back to you Mr. Nice Guy. You attracted me just before you left for your vacation last year. I am looking forward to discover the extremity of this attraction. So far, I enjoyed that kind of arrogant/humorous style warm-up. I am calling it an appetizer–introduction–that tasted very good. Please continue in that mode, as you serve us with your exclusive dishes and special desserts, this year.

    • AmazingFace
      January 10, 2011

      AA Lizavier4Jesus…i didn’t know you would be interested in reading anything so….well “unholy”, so to speak…LOL!!

  23. f........
    January 7, 2011

    look its another moron who likes to degrade dominican women! Wow somebody call the garbage truck cause here is the return of trash on DNO!!!!!!!

    NICE GUY
    HAHAHAH I love that… this fuels the trash

    • AmazingFace
      January 10, 2011

      It’s idiots like you that make the Nice Guy column what it is…stop taking everything in life so seriously nuh??? Geez man!!

  24. Disclaimer
    January 7, 2011

    I love the intro. ill. Well we’ll se what you bring this year.

  25. Crystal Brown
    January 7, 2011

    Welcome back I do look forward to reading your column.

  26. mouth of the south
    January 7, 2011

    lmfao nice guy i don’t share my woman,,,well not with another man sorry lol,,,u heard wrong my dude hahahaha,,,, :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • The Analysts
      January 7, 2011

      My bouy, Never trust a woman. They know how to cover up their tracks.

      • mouth of the south
        January 7, 2011

        hhhhmmmm u seem to know sumthing i don’t????? lol :lol: :lol: :lol:

        • stupessssssssssss
          January 7, 2011

          can’t you see he trying to give you the first clue…SHARE WITH HIM INSTEAD LMFAO… and maybe u might get ice cream lmaoooooo :lol: :lol:

        • Piper
          January 7, 2011

          You grinning?
          Wait until she put a horn in your ….
          I want to see if you will still be showing your teeth.

  27. LADY BIRD
    January 7, 2011

    LOL! Nice Guy u not ez nuh. The menace has returned.

  28. The humorist in Me.
    January 7, 2011

    Welcome back Nice Guy, you are like laxative for the constipated Red Soldiers in the Skerritt’s army, I hope you will be able to loosen the bowels. They say laughter is the best medicine and you really make those who can appreciate humor laugh.. We need some comic relief here!

  29. LMBO
    January 7, 2011

    hahhahahahah… thanks for that weekend laughter my boy… u have me dieing here… Welcome back :)

  30. Auti
    January 7, 2011

    Dude was looking forward to your return. can’t wait for next week lol. I see u take a cheap short at your boss Merrick Andrews lol he is a cheap-skate 4 real lol

  31. Lady
    January 7, 2011

    LMAO @ Monitors comment!

  32. .
    January 7, 2011

    would not be surprised if you were Mouth of the South

    • AmazingFace
      January 10, 2011

      For Real, their writing style has the same tone.

      ADMIN
      Incorrect, MOTS does not write Nice Guy.

  33. The Monitor
    January 7, 2011

    And just how do you make it up to the goats? Thank God I am off red meat. :)

    • MUDD
      January 7, 2011

      LOL. I know what you mean. Some of us just make comments without thinking eh. LOL..You know no mor CURRY GOAT for meeeeeeeeeee.

      • stupessssssssssss
        January 7, 2011

        HAHAHA! LMAO!….. No more goat stewwwwwwwwwwwwwww lmaooooo :lol:

    • Anonymous
      January 8, 2011

      LMAO…A miracle Nice guy didn’t comment. I really would like him to answer that.

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