DEAR BELLA: My husband works ALLLLLL week and gets no pay

Bella,

Something is just not normal about my partner. Bella he works allllll week. Monday to Friday and he has been claiming for the past couple of months that he isn’t being paid. I know he has an issue of ‘qwaydie”, meaning he is always owing people.

But to bring home absolutely nothing after working all week makes no sense.

He is a labourer and he always have jobs. These days even on weekends he would get calls from his boss to work.

I have since developed a hatred for his boss who I know very well. But something in my spirit tells me that my husband is being paid.

I have a feeling he is in some issue and has to give all his earnings away and watch me and these two children scramble.

Now we have to rely on the little money I make cleaning the school. I want to approach his boss. But it could cause problems between us. What do you think is the best way to find out?

Concerned Wife

Hello Concerned Wife

Any woman in your position would have these questions and would want to know exactly what is going on.

If someone works as a labourer on any job site and have not been paid for such a long time, they most likely may not return to work.

Yet your husband keeps going even on weekends. That sounds a bit offish to me and like you, I would be very concerned.

Try speaking to him again, this time asking him to be honest with you.

Love endures all things and if he has indeed found himself in some issue that requires him to work without pay then at least you need to know what your family is dealing with.

I don’t think approaching the boss is a good idea however. At least not just yet. You may want to remove the hatred that has grown in your heart for him since you have no idea how the real story goes.

Deal with your husband first and maybe if that doesn’t work you can explain to the boss how the non-payment is affecting the survival of your family. I mean after all you claim to know the boss well.

Bella

 

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11 Comments

  1. UDOHREADYET
    February 15, 2020

    Whether he’s getting paid or not seems he’s childish about his responsibilities and isn’t man enough to have real conversations with you or his manager.
    your husband isn’t good at managing money then he should be giving you the paycheck to deposit two ways. a portion in a savings or investment account for your retirement and children future and for emergency funds and the rest in a shared account to withdraw from for expenses like utilities, groceries, children school supplies and leisure. working and throwing away your money without saving or managing it is childish. even if its $40 a week you save, you’ll have over 10,000 in 5 years. Everything you spend your money on adds up over time.

  2. Piper
    February 13, 2020

    My lady Mr maybe have a young ting in town blassaying girl .. them young girls arround like money and it can be a old man once they passing it they passing the coco for them . So maybe there the money goin.. In The hairy bank

    • Casio
      February 17, 2020

      then older woman too. Where you think a lot of them learning from.

  3. Casio
    February 13, 2020

    he has bad money management. When you ow you are setting yourself back. When you get paid again that money is to handle old expenses, but maybe he isnt handling that, still raking up new depts and expenses and then the priorities get put on the back nurner. Digging himself into an even deeper hole. These days jobs are very scarce, especially good paying ones. Cost of living is more expensive, on a whole the economy is not doing good despite the claims of many, but who is on the ground knows the truth. Allow your husband to come to you with the truth. You yourself be honest with him and tell him how it is affecting the household and your children. Maybe is all bomb he making with the money who knows.,

  4. SMH
    February 13, 2020

    Ask his boss self A A

  5. Toto
    February 13, 2020

    Lady that partner is either an idiot or a liar. Get rid of him at least you don’t have to feed him any more.

  6. zandoli
    February 12, 2020

    “Love endures all things…” Really Bella?

    I love with my head, not with my heart. My love is cerebral, not emotional. If things are fine between my wife and I, I will give her the world. If however, despite my best effort she is messing about, at some point that love will get thrown out the window.

    Love is not eternal. The couple has to strive to keep it alive. Take it from someone who has been mostly happily married for more than 30 years. I say that because, like everything else during that period neither one of us has been forever happy, but I would say 90% of that time we have been happily married.

    • SMH
      February 13, 2020

      WHAT ARE YOU SAYING????

    • 🤔
      February 13, 2020

      If you love with your brain does that mean that you’re only telling yourself that you’re in love but not really feeling it? Because I’m confused🤔. I mean no disrespect to your perception on how to love btw

      • zandoli
        February 13, 2020

        My brain is a lot smarter than my heart. My brain keeps me on the straight and narrow. I weigh the consequences of my actions before I do or say stupid things. I consider what my wife says or does before I draw conclusions. That makes for a stronger relationship than going along mindlessly.
        I love her very much and would not want to be with anyone else. But my brain tells me she is the right person for me.

    • February 13, 2020

      @zandoli, Bella is right; “Love endures all things”.

      You contradicted what you said against Love by saying that, “you have been mostly happily married for more than 30 years”, for without that “enduring Love” no couple makes it this far.

      Happiness is not what keeps a marriage or even two people in an intimate relationship, for it can be here today and gone tomorrow. You acknowledge this by saying you and your wife are not always happy together. So Love is the glue in your marriage.

      Love is what keeps us together, it is a cord of the Spirit that cannot be broken, come wind, thunder, lightning, and snow.

      “Love is eternal”; that is true. For God is eternal. He is the One who uses Love to bond people together, regardless of the relationship

      The flaw is that mankind adopted human affection in the place of Love, to base his relationship. So it is all about feeling, but feelings do not last forever–neither does the relationship with that base.

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