COMMENTARY: A call girl named Flo

A call girl plying her trade on the streets of Santo Domingo in “Caribbean Sketches” by Roger Burnett
A call girl plying her trade on the streets of Santo Domingo in “Caribbean Sketches” by Roger Burnett

Let me begin by confessing that I hate cell phones just as much as I hate credit cards, but these days both are a necessary evil: the first to communicate and the second to spend.

On the other hand, I have no problem with call girls. They ply their profession just as I ply mine. But recently a persistent call girl named Flo has come on the scene. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve her attention. I can only assume that call girls, like many of the fairer sex, are drawn towards mature men. Attractive young ladies, who would have cut me dead when I was in my twenties, go out of their way to give me a hug and a kiss now that I am in my seventies. Some days I return home from Roseau smelling like the cosmetic counter at Jolly’s.

I came across Flo for the first time last September when my broadband connection was giving problems. My first assumption, when my phone call to Cable & Wireless was answered by Flo, was that I had miss-dialed and got through to a Jamaican dating service. I put the phone down and tried again. But on re-dialing I still got Flo’s sexy voice in broken English offering to satisfy my needs.

Finally it dawned upon me: Cable & Wireless had gone from the silly name “LIME” to the equally ridiculous name “FLOW”. But Flo is a persistent young lady that sends me countless “wacky” text messages at all times of day and right up to two o’clock in the morning! This ties in, as call girls do work nights.

After a couple of weeks I decided, enough was enough. I telephoned Dominica’s General Manager and requested, as is my legal right, that they stop sending me unsolicited text messages. I was assured that this would be done. However, despite weekly reminders, darling Flo never misses a day without offering me her wacky services.

A month ago I put my case to the National Telecommunications Regulatory Commission, but to date they have been unable to stop Flo from bothering me.

In contrast, when I called in at Digicel to request that they stop sending me unsolicited text messages, a pleasant young lady at the counter said it can be done but would take a little time. On asking, how long is “a little time”, I was told about an hour. And you know what, Digicel have been true to their word!

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22 Comments

  1. Prostitution takes many different forms. There are the call girls (you phone them), the street strollers, the bar girls, the escorts, and the massagers. Here we have a prostitute using telemarketing. Is this new or what?

    It seems this young lady is part of a company. Is it called Cable and Wireless? Or does Cable and Wireless refer to what they do,?

    If prostitution is illegal in Dominica this could be stopped. The woman herself could be arrested or the “company” could be shut down. You should report this to the police. Politely ask for a time frame. You would like to know when it will be taken care of. In fact it might be a good thing to take a newspaper reporter with you to the police station. It would make an interesting story since it involves not only one slady of the evening but what appears to be a company. Only God knows who or what is behind this.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Evangelist.

    • I wrote assuming this is a true report.

      Would somebody in Dominica be allowed to write a story like this about a company that is not true? In Canada they would have the @$$ sued off them.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Evangelist.

      • For Dominica
        June 21, 2016

        Yes revwe know you know all the types and forms. You have to “know” sin before you can cast it out. right? also when will you be making your first trip ever to dominica? Also he was talking about a company, not a real person who calls and texts.

    • Dwezzy
      June 21, 2016

      Sir…. Do you know what pun is?

      ps.. Don’t confuse it with porn

  2. Cyril Volney
    June 20, 2016

    Brilliant piece Roger. Rock on!

    • Zack
      June 20, 2016

      Oh yes very very brilliant piece of writing !!!!!

  3. Intelligence
    June 20, 2016

    who ever you are

    you posses a brilliant imagination, great piece of allegorical rhetoric

  4. mine
    June 19, 2016

    Just ignore the texts.

  5. Kixxaca
    June 19, 2016

    I was expecting digicel to be another young lady…OMG! Look Kixx!

  6. BEB
    June 18, 2016

    Roger, this is a nice piece,but let me remind u during the times u were employed at Cable & Wire Less, I think they were sending these texts to customers, but not as much. Now after changing to Lime and then Flow, I noticed that my phone bills are extremely higher than before, I don’t know what is the reason, I even said it might be for these numerous texts, they are billing the customers in order to make up for the costs

    • June 20, 2016

      Believe it or not, there are two people by the name of Roger Burnett in Dominica. I am the painter and sculptor. I have never been employed by Cable & Wireless.

  7. RobbedOnArrival
    June 18, 2016

    I felt like I was robbed when I arrived in Dominica and needed a GSM SIM. Had to get a $45/GB data plan good only for a month and then add voice/text credits to that which lasts 3 months. Couldn’t get the voice/text alone like my colleagues did in past. Thank God for Whatsapp otherwise, I would go bankrupt at almost $1/min for talking. This is one of the highest rates in the world. Digicel was equally unaffordable. May be I was oversold and cheated. And their residential internet service is one of the workst I have experienced. Dialup used to be better elsewhere.

  8. Noneya
    June 18, 2016

    Well said.
    She’s a Rip off too…not just clothes :-D

  9. Beky
    June 17, 2016

    Great piece. Very creative. Captured my attention from beginning to end.

  10. I like it
    June 17, 2016

    When you started of..I though you meant you met FLO…that girl on TV who does the ads for Progressive Insurance. LOL !!…
    But I like this…well put together..

  11. anon
    June 17, 2016

    same problem here everytime i get a txt msg i kno its flo….i sometimes dnt bother to look

  12. Reader
    June 17, 2016

    I like this.

  13. megso
    June 17, 2016

    That is funny as hell!!!

  14. Lenovo
    June 17, 2016

    love this. :-D

  15. AAGabriel
    June 17, 2016

    I have the same problem, even so I’ve told them on numerous occasions to stop these unsolicited text messages they still continue. My next move is a very simple one, I’m going to stop doing business with them: I’ll cancel my landline, my internet service and my cell phone contract with them. $400 a month less for them and I am sure if more customers do the same they’ll soon stop their nonsense. A bit of advice to FLOW, it’s easy enough to loose one customer but it’s difficult to win a customer back!

  16. Jean Marie
    June 17, 2016

    Are you referring to DIGICEL or DIGITAL ?

    I also share your concern as well. Too many unnecessary text messages.

    • June 17, 2016

      In my last paragraph I am referring to DIGICEL, the rival cell phone company.

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