Dominica, as a nation, has been independent now for over 30 years. How far have we gone with the development of our human resource? Have we recognized that many of our social problems have their roots in violence against women at the home or in general?
Too often we see our women bruised and battered and they are usually in denial, because they are afraid or ashamed of what has happened, or is happening to them. In spite of what is commonly known we also have men who are being abused and because of the cliché “Men do not cry” many of them keep it a secret.
How can we as a nation pay a blind eye to such a “malady” which eats at the core of our society, the family? We need to empower our young people who are vulnerable and are potential victims.
One challenge that we face is that people seldom think that unfortunate situations cannot befall them, unless they are faced with practical examples which unfortunately very often have the desired effects.
Being educationally advanced does not guarantee one’s ability to deal with violence against him or her. (Violence crosses all boundaries). We need to use all our resources to minimize or curb such behaviour through learning.
Violence at schools cannot be addressed in isolation since our young people learn how to deal with problems from what they have learnt at the home. We need to pay greater attention to the type of environment in which our young persons are brought up and how that impacts on their behaviour at school. Another important point is that an unhappy parent cannot take care of his or her children.
The decline in the spiritual aspect of one’s life and our society is of concern since the total person is three dimensional – mental, spiritual, emotional and physical. If we continue to allow the spiritual aspect to suffer, this would make it even more difficult for us to manage the ugly face of violence.
There are situations where sometimes children are being isolated because they are being abused. Some of our young persons turn to drugs and gangs in search of that which can fill that void in their lives – that created by rejection and violence, lack of love, discrimination and abuse. They may even feel that they like that way of life but do not see the reality and consequences of their actions.
So often we try to deal with the problems of our society without dealing with the cause – the root. There is an urgent need for all forces to be geared towards the implementation of programmes to battle violence at all levels. We all have the responsibility of taking care of our nation by our actions, not by our talks and speeches.
The level of productivity at the workplace can also be result of home situations, e.g. a battered person cannot perform to his or her maximum. How one deals with abuse can be expressed in so many different ways: stress, anger, low self esteem, mistrust, demotivation, fear, depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, self pity, and confusion.
Recognizing that addressing violence against women without addressing the activities of the men, or violence against men, will be a futile exercise in achieving our goal of a healthy society – mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
We also need to take a look at the cause of the action of one’s partner. Why does he/she act in such a violent manner? Though we know that each person is responsible for his or her actions, we should be aware that violence begets violence. Is he/she violent because he/she experienced violence as a young person? Has he/she taken to alcohol because of emotional problems, frustration, and inability to manage his/her finances? Are these compounded by situations at work? We need to put programmes in place to assist especially our men, who express their hurt by being violent.
No one should remain in an abusive relationship because of “love”. Too often people, especially women, are afraid to deal with an abusive situation because of fear. The situation will only get worse not if you deal with it or break away from it but if you remain in it. Those who find themselves trapped in such situations should seek help from your priest, pastor, doctor, counselor or someone whom you could trust.
Empowering our young men and women can assist in the reduction of violence (by nipping it in the bud – at the home) There are many young men who have been hurt because of rejection by their fathers. In this same trend of thought, we hear so much about teenage pregnancy but seldom hear about the men involved. On occasion the pregnancies are fathered by adult men who take advantage of those young women. These men are hence absent in the lives of the children who may be boys, raised by single parents, who themselves only continue in abusive relationships.
A good source of data collection could be of our young persons who are incarcerated or go before the courts. Their stories could shed some light on what actually happens to children who live in the midst of violence. This does not in any way condone the conduct of such persons but it would assist in understanding the different “tentacles” of violence.
More needs to be done in addressing the problem of violence in our society which will only result in a more peaceful and blessed nation.
Recommendations:
1. Many of our schools have Family Life Education as part of their curriculum. Incorporating topics or input by relevant personnel or institutions on occasion through activities in schools or programmes on the radio/television can greatly assist in bringing awareness to our nation.
- The corporate world also has its part to play by organising activities which could be of benefit both to the employee and the employer.
- Such topics could include:
- Managing Stress
- Managing Anger
- Substance Abuse and its Effect
- Managing Your Finance
- Self-Esteem
- Your Role and Responsibilities as per respective situation (a parent, a child, a citizen – in relation to Family life).
There is also the need to collaborate our efforts through our social groups such as Jaycees, Rotary Club, Rotaract Club, Scout Movement, Girl Guides, Employers Organizations, Employee Organization, the Church and relevant government divisions including Ministry of Education & Human Resource and Ministry of Community Development.
Since violence crosses all boundaries, great results could be achieved through such efforts.
BRILLIANT!!!!!! MISS JOHN I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR MANY YEARS AND EVERY YEAR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM GET BETTER AND BETTER, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK, ALSO I LIKE THE WAY HOW YOU MENTION ABOUT THE SCOUT MOVEMENT, I HOPE THAT THE ASSOCIATION WOULD TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE TO SET UP SOME OF THE PROGRAMS YOU HAVE MENTIONED, WONDERFUL ARTICLE MISS JOHN.
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Well presented article I must assert. The recommendation is quite logical. The violence is bad also, our women need to stop verbally abusing the men as well. Many of them provoke their men to anger. They feel the law is on their side when the men retaliate, thus they curse the man on his mother, they hit the man with a high heel shoe thus physically abusing him too.
In Roseau the other day, a woman beat up a man in the streets, scratched up all his face. The crowd were having a laugh at the scene. He did nothing to the woman, instead he ran away from her. No one charged the woman for abuse. The police did nothing as usual. No one looked down on the woman for physically abusing the man. That is great injustice to our men in Dominica as well. The cloud of feminism has overshadowed this country, this biasness needs to stop.
@ Elizabeth Xavier, good feedback however the reality is Jesus Christ cannot do anything in this secular society. God does not change a condition of a people until they change the condition of their hearts. Secularism and materialism have permeated the minds of this society like water and sponge. How many christian channels are there? How many churches and evangelical pastors, priests etc exist yet it’s getting worse? Are we going to continue to say it’s the last days so it is? Or, are we going to rise up as a people and struggle in the path of God for our needs as a people? Or is this another forum for pseudo-intellectuals?
We need to stop the psycho babbles in this country. Too many fingers are pointed towards the men.
Also, there is nothing wrong with young ladies having children whether they are teenagers. We have been socialized poorly, that’s why many girls are so immature at 25. We have a strong social networking problem. The extended family has lost it’s hold. Before a couple marry the parents have to run them out. It’s better if our communities are compound base so there is stronger family structure closer to each other. Why do you think african families have strong units yet their girls make children at young ages? Many can’t even keep an intellectual conversation, only busy putting french manicure, pedicure and gossiping about soap operas.
All the best with the domestic violence issues.
I was gratified to see this article and the subject matter it addresses. Domestic Violence does indeed know no boundaries in relation to class, education or colour. Indeed, domestic violence is usually not isolated to physical violence, it can be emotional, mental and financial – either each in isolation or a combination of two or more of the areas mentioned.
The difficulty, in my view, for a nation such as Dominica to deal with this is two fold. One, there are the issues of norms and stigmas which perpetuate and encourage this recognised abhorant behaviour on the part of abusers. Two, the lack of the capability of the state to be able to deal effectively and efficiently with these matters. Too often, the perpetrators do not face the criminal justice system and when they do the victims are made to feel that they are on trial or that they have somehow “asked for it”. This begs the question as to why. Could it be lack of resources by the state to enable the system to deal effectively with this problem or does it go back to the need to re-educate an entire people that it is not o.k. to be abusive.
This article is an amazingly brilliant step in the right direction. It provides a very insightful view into DV in Dominica and goes on to provide some solutions and organisations that can assist with solutions. I truly hope that a movement for change begins to entrench itself in the psyche of the Dominican people and that they realise that violence against women is not acceptable.
very informative and educational, but some people stay in certain relationships so long that it eventually looks normal to them.. people cannot and should not feel sorry for people who do not feel sorry for themselves.
what makes people do that, no one will ever know….
nice responses folkes, great article miss John
So often we try to deal with the problem without dealing with the cause–the root. This line is the key theme, regarding what Justina John is concerned about in this article. No matter what or who we are in Life, our attitude and conducts germinated and developed from a seed–meaning that our thoughts, words, and deeds came from a seed and all seeds have a root.
Good conducts or attitude; bad conducts or attitude; it always begin from somewhere and most often that somewhere is always THE HOME. Children turn out to be what they witness. They learn from the activities that is frequent around them. Hence they grow up to be the adults of whatever they were nurtured through as children. And yes, whatever it is, especially the negative effect, can spread from friend to friend.
The spread from friend to friend happens through those who try to revolt against their parents, their teachers, the leaders of their youth group, and all those who will stand firm against bad attitude and conducts in them. Wanting others to be on their side, they will their best to influence somebody, and much too many persons.
Most often this is how the destructive gang starts. A man who does not like quarrels and fight, but has a wife who is always bossing him around, might take the advise of his friend in the rum-shop, who brags about beating his own wife, who always talks back at him. Those young people who were nurtured through poor attitude and conducts–witnessing the conducts of their abusive father against the attitude of their mouth-nagging mother–bond with those who are being spiteful to their loved ones in society, who will not condone to their destructive patterns.
It boils right down to the fact that every individual involved will have to be willing to acknowledge that they stand on the ground of what or whoever they are. It is only when this acknowledgement is justified, that we can either move on with who and what we are or try to make amends.
Of course making amends will demand that we seek help from others. Hence the rest of us in our particular community, needs to maintain a godly state of mind. We cannot call upon God without knowing brotherly Love. The apostle Paul advises us to love each other as brother and sisters. When God knows that we are willing to perform according to His Ways, surely, He will do the things that has to be done, to help others get known to Life, through us.
The other problem, and the most destructive root, is of the attitude and conducts of those of us who think that we are better than everyone else and nothing bad can touch us. Unfortunately this attitude and conduct is displayed more abundantly among the group where the majority of us expect that God is doing His work in us and through us. I refer to the churches. For that reason many people who seek for help do not turn to them or counsel and advice.
As a Christian who loves God in Jesus Christ, and all people, especially my own people–who are you people of Dominican–I pass on this message to all of you, that you will realize that it is not everyone who march into a building on Sunday morning with a fancy dress, big hats, hairstyle, and shoes to go with it that makes them godly people.
We cannot maintain a negative assumption against everyone. And by His Holy Spirit, God shows the Truth to those who believe and trust in Him. Jesus has promised that we will know the truth if we believe in Him, so He will not betray our trust in Him. So let us all learn to keep God in our minds, that He might keep us humble, to train and discipline us to help those who cannot help themselves.
God does not want us in a life of violence, poverty, sickness and disease that cause us to think about nothing else but death. God does not want a single girl raising children she is too young to understand; neither does He want men and women roaming about without their spouses, unless He has a special plan for them.
If we continue to think about Life that way, and on behalf of those who are going through too much distress and, or despair to think that way for themselves, God will show us, and them, that Life was meant to be that way.
Very informative and good article. I hope the higher ups see it and implement some of what is proposed in it.
Wonderfully put together Miss; I do hope that many people will read this article. It’s informative, deep and factual. Sadly, most times these articles go unread and most find them uninteresting. However if one person can stand up and make a change, I am sure more will follow. It’s time to DO SOMETHING!!!
“Those who find themselves trapped in such situations should seek help from your priest, pastor, doctor, counselor or someone whom you could trust.”
I like how the ‘police’ or ‘law enforcement’ was not included here. In many instances (especially in village communities) THEY DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help battered women when complaints are made.
Good article Justina.
WHAT A GREAT PIECE MISS JOHN.THAT IS QUITE DEEP AND FACTUAL,ALL SHOULD READ AND TAKE NOTE.GREAT