I have been married for 10 years now, and [my husband and I have] with an 8-year-old girl.
However, there have been a lot of ups n downs in our marriage, and I’ve been tempted many times to ask for a divorce because of him cheating on me and treating me badly.
However, I’m still here because of my daughter and because I’ve always wanted a brother or a sister for her before getting a divorce, so she does not feel left alone once we separate.
Almost a year ago, I started having a crush on a coworker who’s also married with children, and he’s been feeling the same for me (he has told me so on many occasions so far). However, being both married and the fact that I’m trying to get pregnant kept me from going out with him or having any physical relationship with him.
He was so nice and gentle all the time until he found out about a month ago that I’m pregnant.
Ever since, he’s been all over the place, sometimes rude and shouting at me then apologizing. Other times, he’d say bad things about my pregnancy, then he apologizes again and lately, he’s been acting like a paranoid, as if he’s lost confidence in me and in my work and as if I’m going to do something to mess up his work for him, while he should know by now that I’m always been supportive to him and never in a position to harm him or anything.
I know I might sound silly, but has he gone past the usual crush? Do I understand from all this behaviour that he may have fallen for me at a certain point and the fact that I’m pregnant is making him act this confused?
And if so, what would you suggest?
Obviously, your co-worker/crush isn’t happy that you are pregnant and he is showing his disappointment by reacting the way he does.
But to be quite frank, you guys have been playing a dangerous game because feelings are now attached to the matter. You claim to only be sticking around your marriage to have a sibling for your daughter. Now you do, the question is, what will be your next reason to remain in the marriage? Or are you going to leave?
Clearly you aren’t happy because you said you were tempted many times to ask for a divorce because he treated you badly. Are you going to remain now that you have this child? How will it affect the children’s life? Your life even? Before you make these decisions consider all these questions.
Meanwhile, I suggest you end this extramarital affair that you were carrying on with your coworker. Clearly even if you and him are not physical, you both developed feelings for each other and communicated on these levels. Think of it this way. If you don’t end it, you will be part and parcel of a situation that you claim is affecting your marriage.
I mean you claim your husband is cheating, yet you’re smooching with a man who has his wife at home. Same thing!! Wise up.