DEAR BELLA: I’m thinking of leaving my cheating husband but have a crush on a married man

Dear Bella,

I have been married for 10 years now, and [my husband and I have] with an 8-year-old girl.

However, there have been a lot of ups n downs in our marriage, and I’ve been tempted many times to ask for a divorce because of him cheating on me and treating me badly.

However, I’m still here because of my daughter and because I’ve always wanted a brother or a sister for her before getting a divorce, so she does not feel left alone once we separate.

Almost a year ago, I started having a crush on a coworker who’s also married with children, and he’s been feeling the same for me (he has told me so on many occasions so far). However, being both married and the fact that I’m trying to get pregnant kept me from going out with him or having any physical relationship with him.

He was so nice and gentle all the time until he found out about a month ago that I’m pregnant.

Ever since, he’s been all over the place, sometimes rude and shouting at me then apologizing. Other times, he’d say bad things about my pregnancy, then he apologizes again and lately, he’s been acting like a paranoid, as if he’s lost confidence in me and in my work and as if I’m going to do something to mess up his work for him, while he should know by now that I’m always been supportive to him and never in a position to harm him or anything.

I know I might sound silly, but has he gone past the usual crush? Do I understand from all this behaviour that he may have fallen for me at a certain point and the fact that I’m pregnant is making him act this confused?

And if so, what would you suggest?



Obviously, your co-worker/crush isn’t happy that you are pregnant and he is showing his disappointment by reacting the way he does.

But to be quite frank, you guys have been playing a dangerous game because feelings are now attached to the matter. You claim to only be sticking around your marriage to have a sibling for your daughter. Now you do, the question is, what will be your next reason to remain in the marriage? Or are you going to leave?

Clearly you aren’t happy because you said you were tempted many times to ask for a divorce because he treated you badly. Are you going to remain now that you have this child? How will it affect the children’s life? Your life even? Before you make these decisions consider all these questions.

Meanwhile, I suggest you end this extramarital affair that you were carrying on with your coworker. Clearly even if you and him are not physical, you both developed feelings for each other and communicated on these levels. Think of it this way. If you don’t end it, you will be part and parcel of a situation that you claim is affecting your marriage.

I mean you claim your husband is cheating, yet you’re smooching with a man who has his wife at home. Same thing!! Wise up.


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  1. Concern Wife
    March 4, 2020

    You are more the CONFUSED….you’re a no-good woman. First, you’ve been tempted to divorce your cheating husband, yet you’re doing the same thing. You would like to have another child with your “cheating” husband because you do not want your daughter to be the only child. What the hell is wrong with you? Cheating at work is definitely a no-no. You’re are so stupid falling for another married man who would NEVER leave his wife for you. All he wants is to sleep with you whenever and wherever. Grow up and be the best example for your little girl and stop being a homewrecker. If this co-worker wants you so bad he should divorce his wife and you divorce your husband and the two of you can be together. Just remember, THE SAME WAY YOU GOT HIM, IS THE SAME WAY YOU WILL LOSE HIM.

  2. I said what I said
    March 2, 2020

    You are too confusing. You need to contact Jerry Springer if that show is still active.

  3. Bwa-Banday
    February 29, 2020

    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: Girl what you saying is not even half the truth. You sleeping with the other guy so just say that nah. Like I usually say if you happy piping two men is your damn business. Is your GYNAH and you that getting the sweetness. The same people there playing com-see-dee doing the same damn thing so Doh-maylay with them. When is time for you to make a single commitment you will know so play yourself.

    Honestly, I eh know ONE woman is Dca that have 1 man (married or not). And I am dead serious including my sisters and cousins. All of them bashing each other and some playing saint but is pure tricks they have. Matter of fact, all those called married women have a diaspora man under cover but they there minding single women business. So my dear, if you happy play yourself just be careful how you play and all will be fine. :twisted: :twisted:

  4. Bando
    February 28, 2020

    Hello my dear. Am so sorry to hear of your circumstance . But your true and real solution is us Jesus. U need Jesus to come into your life to heal u and comfort u. But one thing u must be willing to work with Him to repair your unhappy marriage. Because the Lord hates divorce and seperation

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  5. Dynamic Dominica
    February 28, 2020

    Idk what kinda man would be okay in loving a freshly pregnant woman, no man of standards would do that… Thats like saying I want a freshly used condom when I go to the store, women just DONT get it, of course the married padna would get vex after he find out you just PLUG :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2
  6. candid
    February 28, 2020

    More than confused, need to be taken to mental home as soon as possible. The mouse been eating the floorer for a long time, when he got caught in the trap, he shout first week. You are seeing two different men at the same time, you got pregnant ,who is the rightful dad. You also ruin the other mans marriage. The other woman should sue you for wrecking her marriage. What is between your leg is part of your flesh and not sponge. You are full of it.disgraceful. Your children will use that on you sooner or later

  7. Frank N Stein
    February 27, 2020

    This is one CONFUSED woman! You need help way beyond the internet or the capacity of Bella. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 29 Thumb down 0

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