DEAR BELLA: Is my sister taking advantage of me?


I am tired of being Santa Claus to my sister. We have always been taught to look out for each other.

And that was always our parents’ wishes. But Bella there is looking out and there is advantage.

I mean she didn’t miss the Creole Festival. Her hair was on fleek. How do I know? Because oh I saw these facebook photos and status updates. Dressed from head to toe. New outfit and nails longer than the law would allow.

But Bella as soon as the festivities were over, she is knocking on my doorstep for help – help because Dowasco needs to be paid and Digicel might cut the internet. Plus, she needs to top up the light because AMI sent her a text that she’s owing.

Bella, I wanted to go to the festival too. But guess what? I prioritized. My children needed things and my husband just had surgery so I stayed inside.

She is a working woman. Single and she never has money because she’s always on Amazon buying stuff or attending parties.

When I told her how I felt she said well her tickets were sponsored. Her hair was paid for by this dude and her clothes, well she got them under US$10 on Rainbow.

Now I told her that I can’t help her and she was so upset she left. Before I knew it, she sending words my way on WhatsApp and Facebook, all kinds of status like “every high thing must come down” and “one day I will have money like my sister and help people”.

The whole thing breaks my heart because I love her but I can’t be doing this anymore.

My husband says I should cut her off because she’s using me. Do you think I should?

Sad Sister



Dear Sad Sister,

Listen to your husband. Cutting her off doesn’t mean you hate her. If she knows that she can be irresponsible with her finances because there’s someone to pick up the pieces then she may never learn.

As you indicated, you learn to prioritize even if you really wanted to use some of your money to participate in the festivities.

If you can make a sacrifice,  then she can do it too. Don’t let anyone use you. You need to stop helping your sister with responsibilities that clearly aren’t yours.


Disclaimer: The comments on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of Inc. All comments are approved by before they are posted. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • violate or infringe the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or include personal attacks
  • are abusive, profane or offensive
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are excessively long and off-message

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.


  1. Isaline Sprott
    November 6, 2019

    Dear Sister,
    You are not doing your sister any favors by enabling her, she is irresponsible
    you are giving in to her manipulations. “Hair on fleek” and how is she getting
    her clothes for “under US$10 by Rainbow” give me a break.. That sounds like
    something is completely off :mrgreen:

  2. Concerned
    November 6, 2019

    Never encourage animosity among siblings for a reason as trivial as this.instead encourage her to speak to her sister who maybe younger and needs advise but don’t advise to cut her off .would you cut off ur sister for the same reason? Please advise problem solving rather than hatred and cutting off.there is no need for cutting off in this case.

  3. Kalinago Justice
    November 5, 2019

    :?: What’s wrong with dno that they’re always dragging to post my comments! :?:

    ADMIN: We moderate as many as hundreds of comments a day. Please be specific or try re-posting your comment. Comments are approved based on our comment policy:

  4. zandoli
    November 5, 2019

    Creole Festival done, money done? Why am I not surprised. Some people’s priorities are so upside down, it is not funny. Live for today and we will figure it out tomorrow.

  5. Kalinago Justice
    November 5, 2019

    Young lady, Bella couldn’t have advise you better! Cleave to your husband and keep this sister of yours to a distance! This is the problem with alot of people on that slave plantation mentality island, most people can’t afford to care for their domestic needs but will waste their little resources on irrelevant things! This WCMF and all other festivities on island is making the population poorer! Millions of dollars are being exported while very little to nothing is coming in. This little island is just awaiting to be sunked!!!

  6. Darroux
    November 5, 2019

    Exactly, that’s what she said doing. Her money is for her enjoyment and yours is to look after her. The words are to make you feel guilty..

  7. Jaquelin Pond
    November 4, 2019

    I have one in my office, hair always done nails always done but touju hunhry. Her children always looking hungry but every drum that beat she there. Shame

  8. Gouvelma
    November 4, 2019

    You continue to feed her habit so she keeps coming back. If you do not “put your foot down” she will keep milking the cow. If she had so many sponsors for Creole festival let her find for after festival. Ask her to get an 8 to 4. If you don’t she will keep coming and I will rejoice when she makes you walk bare foot.

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available