The family of my fiancé hates me. I haven’t had the best past. Let me lay it out straight. I was a wild teenage girl. In my youthful days, I partied, had multiple partners and did stuff I am too ashamed to remember.
But I am a grown woman now and I have changed my life. I met this really nice guy and we decided to get married. He was well brought up. His family aren’t rich people, but they are well “abled”. They sent him to university and he returned to Dominica and now has a good job.
I work within a government facility as an aid. That job doesn’t require a degree but I have a lot of experience. I am saying all this to say that we are not on the same job level but I don’t want his money.
His mother treats me badly. She said she won’t come to the wedding. She told him that I wasn’t wife material and he should reconsider. Bella, I love this man and he loves me.
His sisters have been blasting me on social media. Saying no Bi%*h will come into their family. They are always trying to get me in a tug of war. His mother called me fifty names. She would speak to him In front of me and pretend I was invisible. Bella, these people just hate me.
Now my fiancé feels bad. I know he loves me but he isn’t used to that kind of neglect from his family.
I am worried that he will choose them instead of me or the pressure could affect our marriage.
So, for the sake of peace, I am considering ending the whole thing. What do you think I should do?
Dealing with in-laws can never be an easy thing, especially when they don’t accept you. Also understand that it’s normal to want to be accepted by your in-laws.
I don’t believe that walking away from someone you love just because his family resents you is wise at all. And although it may be healthier for there to be a good relationship between you and your in-laws, they don’t have to like you. Perhaps you don’t have to like them either.
To be quite frank, there is no rule that you have to like your in-laws in order to be in a happy relationship. But because they may be around you and your spouse, you do have to figure out how to deal with them.
When dealing with in-laws means suffering from anxiety or increased conflict in your relationship, it’s time to find a better way to cope with your new family.
Many people find dealing with in-laws to be a tremendous challenge.
Your in-laws may have strong opinions that you don’t agree with or interact with others in a way that is uncomfortable or offensive to you.
Based on what you described, there is animosity towards you and that can be challenging to say the least.
Coexisting is a wonderful notion but no one said it was easy.
For your own peace of mind and the health of your relationship, it’s worth thinking about how to find a sustainable way to deal with extended family.
And if you can’t find one, then you may have to learn to live with the fact that they don’t like you.
At the end of the day, a man should leave his parents home and cling to his wife. I hope this man is willing to cling to you especially when his family is the one throwing the boulders.
All the best,