Associate Professor of Psychology, Dr. Simone Mathieu, is calling out to women that they should not blame themselves when they are subjected to domestic violence or abuse.
She was speaking on local radio station, Q95.
“The one thing I want to make sure that we say outright and we are absolutely clear to the women, and anybody who are being abused, it is not your fault,” she emphasized.
She stated that a woman could do whatever she wants and if a man is not an abuser, he is not going to abuse that woman.
“There is nothing you could say or do,” Dr. Mathieu stated. “If you go as far as deciding you know what, I feel like walking outside toutounee (naked), as toutounee as my mother made me, if a man is not an abuser, he is not going to abuse you.”
She pointed out that abuse of women by men has persisted despite the fact that women have freedom and have fought for the right to be in the workplace and to be independent.
“These same men are now jealous that these women have found financial independence,” she remarked. “I just want to make it absolutely, crystal clear to anyone out there who is listening, that first it is not your fault and second of all, you cannot fix the person. You cannot love them out of being an abuser. You cannot tiptoe enough around them to stop them from being an abuser. You cannot change your language, your demeanor, the fact that you are isolated from all your family and all your friends to stop him from being an abuser because by nature that is who he is.”
Meanwhile, clinical psychologist, Dr. Triphi Margaret Wallace, speaking on the same radio station, said that many people who suffer from or experience abuse have a preexisting history of anxiety and depression.
“So, that’s something to look out for,” she stated. “Because if I am a person who is already struggling from anxiety, the first time somebody calls me out of my name, I might be less quick say, hey, I don’t know if you mean to hurt me with this word or these words but they make me feel uncomfortable, I do not want you to talk me like that anymore and if your persist, I am going to terminate this relationship we are having.”
She explained that if a person has preexisting anxiety, the example given above is not going to be the first move.
“Instead you might keep quiet about it and naturally hope it goes away without addressing it,” Dr Wallace said. “But this is a pattern. So these things start with little seeds before they mushroom into murder.”
The matter of domestic violence and abuse has been a topic of great discussion in Dominica after the brutal slaying of two women late last year, allegedly by their partners.
At a press conference on Monday, Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said legislation and enforcement are critical to addressing the issue but ultimately it is in the community and the family that the solution lies.
“We will seek to engage a number of stakeholders across the communities before unveiling additional avenues and safety measures for those who are most vulnerable,” he said. “We all have to condemn all acts of violence, especially domestic violence and we, as a society, this is going to have to be a societal response. We cannot only look to the police and the government to solve this; all of us must play our part.”
The prime minister urged all victims of domestic violence to reach out for help before it’s too late.
“These things of you cannot leave the house because of what society will say, we have to move away from this cultural issue,” he said. “Seek help because we understand sometimes, it takes a level of courage to do so. But this caring society of ours must be able to act on the behalf of every victim.”
He noted that a variety of state agencies exist to assist victims through intervention, action and protection.
“In the coming period, we will mandate those agencies in developing greater awareness about the facilities and their services,” Skerrit said.
Does she consider that many women abuse men emotionally/mentally? Many times women know men are physically stronger, however some like to still challenge a man and get up in his face saying all kinds of insults. pricking and pressing all the wrong buttons. Thinking its just words. But words have meaning and impact. Not an excuse to lash out and hurt her physically, even if she has no problem hurting, insulting, disrespecting you however she can. Men do have limits also.
In addition, men are abused just as must as women, the only problem is men dont report it. We keep it to ourselves. Otherwise many times we are laughed at by other men…and women when we say something. Sad what happened to these women. Our local women need psychological help and guidance. Many want the bad man, a man that can handle them, have fast money etc and refuse to give decent young men the time of day. Lots of these “bad man” have psychological problems what we later see when its too late.
Associate Professor of Psychology, Dr. Simone Mathieu, is calling out to women that they should not blame themselves when they are subjected to domestic violence or abuse.
so next week the headlines should also read out :
Associate Professor of Psychology, Dr. Simone Mathieu, is calling out to Men that they should not blame themselves when they are subjected to domestic violence or abuse from women.
I leave my hands on my side so should women.
Any woman that raise her hands on me I’m hitting her back.
I always tell my daughter don’t raise her hands on anyone, if you see any signs of abuse, leave the relationship.
All women in Dominica should learn self defense and how to take down a man as quickly as possible no man should ever abuse a woman
Does this woman have a man? 🤣
The whole issue needs to be addressed. Social policy, legislation and RELIGION have much to answer for brainwashing women to stay and take their blows rather than find refuge and divorce. A society that hides behind vulgar lyrics in song for entertainment that degrade women fail to accept responsibility in the message that thses lyrics send. Communities judging its women for finding relationships outside of it’s confines which make reaching out when in crisis impossible. Men, the real men not standing up to each other when they know thier partner is guilty of abuse. Yes look in the mirror and reflect. The blood of these and many others are on your hands. As a nation we need to examine our values, take a long hard look at who we are as a nation, repair the wounds that allows division and heal. If not for ourselves, as an act of respect for the survivors and orphans left to mourn.