Advocate against Child Abuse, Mrs. Delia Cuffy- Weekes has said although society is fighting against child sexual abuse the actions towards the victims should be different.
She told Dominica News Online (DNO) last week that persons should be more empathetic and compassionate as a society.
“What we must understand in our society, although sometimes we say that we are fighting these things but in our actions we are really not giving enough support to the victims,” she said. “By that what I mean is that we are the very ones when we find out who the victims are we never give them a chance to properly heal.”
Weekes continued, “We are the very ones who turn around and point to the children and say, this is the little boy who was buggered, this is the little girl who so many men had sex with and we have to learn first of all to be more empathetic and to be more compassionate as a society, that is the way we will continue empowering victims and help them to heal.”
According to her, there is an increase in the number of cases that are being reported and it does not necessarily mean that there is an increase in the number of attacks on children.
“What it means that with all of the advocacy that is happening people are feeling more confident now that they can come forward and report,” she explained
“You may find people are now reporting incidents that happenned more than eleven years ago and now that they feel empowered enough or maybe it might have happened when they were children they were unable to speak at the time, but they are now adults, they have less to fear from the perpetrators and they can talk about it.”
But those things don’t happen in a vacuum, she reminded.
“We have situations that enable the perpetrators to continue doing those crimes. We have the culture of silence; we have these people who use their children as bait or as a way of earning a living,”she stated pointing out that there are persons who value other things more than their own children.
“They will tell you it happened to me and I didn’t die so you will survive, but what kind of existence is that when you go through life with that monkey on your back?” She asked.
“There are many people in society who appear to be thriving, but personally they are struggling, because of something that may have happened to them when they were even younger than preschool age. There are a lot of ticking time bombs walking around,’ she noted.
The sad thing about it, she said is, “if we don’t continue speaking of these things, we never know when those memories are going to surface.”
She is appealing to government to put the necessary systems in place to give more support to victims as she believes that too much attention is placed on perpetrators and getting them into the jails and “nothing much is being done for the victims, because they are the ones who are going to live with that for the rest of their lives.”
According to her, more trained counselors are needed, “to get our systems set up so that people can access the necessary care without being labelled as crazy.”
Mrs. Weekes was one of the participants in an activity held outside the Government Headquarters in Roseau on Wednesday dubbed, “Show Your Hands to End Violence Against Children” as part of the fight against child abuse in Dominica.
I wish I could build a home for these kids. Somewhere private. A safe place. beautiful surrounding where they can meditate and feel protected from the NASTY world outside. Have doctors, psychiatrists and confidants to whom the victims can confide in and heal. Teachers, fitness personnel, cooks, spiritual leaders. They would be able to continue their education, take part in the things that they love. be free. Be among ppl who know what they went through. Lord….give me a couple million and watch it happen!
We have the same sexual abuse problems in Canada as Dominica. One of those problems is that the victim is neglected.
I have known of rape victims – especially young men – who have later in life became abusers themselves. Some have developed depression, alcoholism, and or a problem with drugs. Several have committed suicide.
One big mistake is to just wait and see if they need counseling later and neglect them. They all should have professional counseling even if it is only short term. Counseling needs to be directed at potential problems areas to:
(1) Eliminate guilt. Victims feel defiled and unclean. Some blame themselves.
(2) Avoid the victim becoming an abuser himself (herself).
(3) Avoid depression from setting in. Begin treatment immediately if there are signs of depression. This is why counseling must be on-going for a reasonable time.
(4) Watch for alcohol or drug use. This is why there should be periodic check-ups.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill…
Professional counseling or psych-therapy is sometimes expensive. The victim often cannot afford it. For this reason it should be provided by the government at absolutely no cost to the victim. The problems it can avoid in the future for the victim and society at large are well worth the investment.
The victim usually does not feel the need for this kind of care and just wants to get on with his (her) life. This is why it is not enough for the judge or a well meaning social worker to ”recommend” counseling. It should be mandated by the court with a responsible person made responsible to see that it is followed through with.
We have come to the time when compassionate professional care for the victim is just as important as an
appropriate sentence for the criminal. One reason for this is because the abused often becomes an abuser himself (herself) later in life.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. D.D., International Evangelist.
Mrs weeks what you saying is so true, I listen to a program in Dominica last week and I could not believe what I was hearing about child sexual abuse. The whole program was centered on a calypso song and the rape of a child, but there was nothing said about counseling for the child,all the lady talk about was the abuser nothing for the child
Sexual abuse is wrong no matter who does it,whether it’s a man or woman sexually molesting a minor girl or boy period
She was also talking about who is a good person, no body knows who is good until they are caught.
In America from day care we have the bad touch, we use dolls to teach toddlers the bad touch and encourage them to draw so they can express themselves on what is going on. The first and most important thing is trust, help and counseling for the victim. It’s all about the victim, that’s what the program should be about not your personal battle with the abuser. Hopefully the law will do its part and justice will be served.
I found myself nodding as I read this.
Mrs Weekes is so right. On so many levels abuse is pervasive in our society.
We have young men and women seeking alternative lifestyles simply because this is all they know. They were never given the chance to choose their own sexuality.
I have nothing against being gay, if that is who you are, but when a pre-school male child is repeatedly sodomized, or a female child is repeatedly raped and stimulated vaginally or anally, after a time they begin to think it may have been their fault because they were gay as a child or it’s because they were naturally ‘salop’. Rather than being left alone to choose their own sexuality, it was chosen for them.
We need more trained counselors/therapists on Dominica.
Mrs Weekes well done and thank you for your devotion in tackling child abuse in Dominica. This article really sums up the real issues which victims face. I also believe that the media has a crucial role to play in protecting victims. For example far too much details of the sexual act on the victim is highlighted in the press. This can not only cause huge embarrassment to the victim & their family but it gives the perpetrator a boost as he/she reads it and deters other victims for reporting their violators for fear of being labeled or having their details shamefully detailed for all to see. Lots need to be done but you’re on the perfect track. God bless you. God bless DOMINICA.
One way or the other any time a child is sexually abused; whether it involves the child being sodomized; a sigma always remain, and that stigma remains with the abused child for the rest of their natural life; the same apply’s to an adult woman, raped and sodomized. The same can be applied to a man sodomized in jail: unless he participated willingly, or not he loses his dignity, or manhood!
Some people are able to overcome the trauma and move on; the majority however, lives on the edge of mental illness caused by the trauma; the only way the victims can be treated differently is to ensure they receive psychological therapy as needed, when needed. The idiots who finger the abuse, are sick people, nothing can be done about them.
The abuser of the sodomized child or woman should be sentence with a vengeance, lose them in jail!