DEAR BELLA: How can I get my girlfriend to leave her cheating husband?

Bella,

 

I have a problem. My best friend is married to a lawyer here.  They share a family. They’ve been married for years and their children are adults.

Now he’s having an affair with a young woman and Bella the young girl could be his daughter.

But my gripe is that this girl has no respect for the man’s family.

He bought her a vehicle and now rents an apartment for her.

But even when they are in public, she goes on like the man belongs to her. It’s like she forgets the man has a wife.

The public display of affection is sickening.

I told my friend to divorce her husband. She said she didn’t get married to divorce and she’s not the one who will be judged.

But I don’t understand how she can manage that mess.

She says she loves her husband and she keeps putting him at the foot of the cross hoping he would come to his senses.

But Bella meantime, she’s being humiliated by the young girl from Roseau North who obviously is just in for the gain.

I want some advice from you on her behalf.

I mean how can she even live under the same roof with the man knowing what he’s doing.

How could she even sleep on the same bed with him not wanting to suffocate him with the pillow.

Bella, this woman is a good woman who I know only gave herself to her husband.  How can I convince her to leave him?

 

DD

 


 

Hello DD,

 

Well you cannot convince her to leave her husband. Any such decision would have to be based on her and really not you. And from the sound of things she wants to remain in her marriage.

I understand your frustration because of your love for your best friend but I am pretty sure she weighed her options and decided to stay based on that.

I suggest you just continue to be a friend to her. I mean listen to her when she needs an ear. A shoulder to cry on. A confidant.  I don’t think criticizing her is the way to go. I am almost certain that she’s already stressed out enough about her ordeal.

Support your friend instead of trying to get her to leave her husband. If she wanted to leave him, she would have, especially based on everything she knows.

 

Best,

Bella

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30 Comments

  1. Been there
    September 19, 2019

    Some of you guys should be ashamed of yourselves that’s a stupid young girl the wife is a women of class and trust me it is not going to end up good am sure he loves his wife very much sometimes a man with a good wife needs a female dog to ride on it’s a man thing even though the wife hangs from the ceiling when they having sex he is just a dirty man one of the dogs but he will never walk away from his marriage, just watch.one day him and that young girl will be public enemy # one and she is going to regret it.

  2. UDOHREADYET
    July 18, 2019

    Stay out of other peoples marriage business. You are not in the marriage, its not your business. If you’re a friend be a friend and mind your business. Your view and limited perception (10% of what’s really happening) of things is not the same as those in the marriage. When single or unmarried people try to advise married people about marriage its a recipe for disaster.

  3. time has told
    July 1, 2019

    All three of you are perfect for each other. Best you the girlfriend and her husband live together.

  4. Edward Ravalliere
    June 29, 2019

    I agree 200 % with the wife’s answer. people need to learn to mind their business. This statement only brings one couple to mind and if anyone has sense they will know who you are talking about.

    This man takes care of his wife and family and he loves his wife alot, but his wife may have issues that she will not discuss with you and as a woman you should know when a woman reaches a certain age she should not be having too much sex so the man have to fund a place to release.

    Additionally, the wife should be commended for her behavior, she is a very respectable woman who we all respect alot. and she will never share her body like some other wives will do.

    but on a serious note, people must learn to mind their business and stop fulling up people wife head with stories. you cannot force a woman to accept your story or opinion on her personal matters.

    In conclusion, all men cheats, if he is not cheating he is being cheated on. If he dont have a woman somewhere he most likely…

    • fed up
      July 1, 2019

      So because you are doing the same as the husband you want the best friend to mind her business? Lol boy you will never change,

    • Frank N Stein
      July 2, 2019

      :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: Jesus Mary and Joseph but where they get mister nah? Edward please hand over your phone! When women reach a certain age they should not have too much sex? But but but in which biology class you heard that? Go get our money back. Excuses you making you old fart lol

  5. Jeff
    June 29, 2019

    Tell her check me let me lay down some pipe In her office for her.. after am done she must leave him?
    w*** in the neighbourhood

  6. Dan Tanner
    June 29, 2019

    Wait. She’s not cheating too?

  7. Doctor Joy
    June 29, 2019

    She is also committing adultery with the writer of this letter as he expressly said above that she is his girlfriend too, hence why he wants her to leave the husband. So, she is having it both ways. She must be getting the best of both worlds; having her cake and eating it too just like him. :!:

    • Frank N Stein
      July 1, 2019

      Did you hear is her best friend? Which article are you really reading? Where did it say is a man?

  8. jackarie
    June 29, 2019

    is like you want to carry your friend cross for her when you have your own cross to carry

  9. Kalinago Justice
    June 29, 2019

    :?: First of all; did you seek the married lady’s consent before writing to Bella on her behalf :?: If not, you’re very rude and out of place to come on here making such demands on her part! You are probably going to cause more harm than helping the married lady :?: Though you may advise and give her comfort as needed, but you need to know your boundaries! As Bella rightly responded, the married lady is fully aware of the husband’s adulterous affairs but have decided to keep her husband. You can continue to be a good friend but stop being that typical duminican who always inflame problems!!!

  10. June 29, 2019

    This is the marriage that was not bonded in “Love”, in that there is one side of the pair which is not working.

    The same is for the husband and the young girl that he is dating; Love has nothing to do with that thing between them.

    The two of them will wake up one day and discover that the relationship is, as usual, a lusty bond between them; the passion of the flesh that does not last forever.

    When that man leaves her, I wonder she go cry for–especially if he goes back to his wife!

  11. DAPossieMasse
    June 28, 2019

    What is wrong with some of these women today? Are you the same person who wanted a baby without the man being involved? Oh MG.

    The same thing they wanted Hillary Clinton to do, even she lost the election, the only reason she was able to run for elections was because she did not divorce Bill. Today they are happily married.

    You did not even ask for advice on how you could approach them to help them address whatever they are dealing with. You gave only one side. Did she do something that caused him to so blatantly engage in, according to you, this public behavior?

    Why does it seems that men are not so quick to advice their friends to get a divorce, as opposed to women who seems to be too quick to jump and claim abuse, and then talk about divorce, then regret? What advice would you have for her after the divorce, see other men?
    I respect your friend for trying. Hope you will give us an update in three years time.

    Miss, you sound just like 1 Kings 21: 7-14.

    • UDOHREADYET
      July 18, 2019

      She thinks the divorce will get the lady some $$$$$$ and she can help her friend spend the money. She probably already fantasized about everything in her head dats why she pushing for the woman to divorce her husband. They always have an alterior selfish motive!

  12. June 28, 2019

    You the best friend my advice to you is try to watch the movie war room and stop trying to get the woman to divorce her husband

  13. Bwa-Banday
    June 28, 2019

    Hmmm the lawyer (man) may be older but it looks like he is doing a damn good job on behalf of Dowasco by laying pipe. I doubt it’s all about what he can give the young lady in terms of material things because if you look closely at the young concubine it is clear her steps are very brisk which indicates “SATISFACTION” and “AGILITY”. She bounces with every step 8) . In other words she runs like a well “oiled” machine.

    So please MET-VEYEE mind your own business and stay out of them people’ life. You just don’t know what goes on behind close doors. Your friend should know what is the best way to her husband’s heart 8) . Just maybe she should STOP holding out and get more active in her wifely duties.

  14. Separating Sense from Non-sense
    June 28, 2019

    You want her to leave him so you can grab him? Go on and leave people business alone!!!

    You will have an opportunity to take your own advise if you ever get to that bump in the road of your life.

  15. aceejay
    June 28, 2019

    But DD, you sure is not yourself you talking about, but making it read like is your best friend? Or maybe you are the young woman in it for gain. You see, I find it a bit awkward that although the wife said to you she does not desire to divorce her husband, you seem to have your own remedy for the situation. The wife said “NO! I am praying about it; I am not into this divorce thing; I love my husband”, but you still want her to divorce. Eh!! Maybe she and her husband met in college. She stood by him when he went to UWI. She is a strong Roman Catholic. Their daughters are overseas. Maybe they built on the West Coast. Hey, DD! Leave my friend wife alone eh!

    • Frank N Stein
      July 2, 2019

      @aceejay so that is what all you mean by ” build him up be his peace?” and in the end he walks on the wife with a concubine who maybe cant even spell her name? Stay there and build man up still. I dont support the writer interfering, let married people deal with their own issues. However that thing of women turning themselves into doormats is not acceptable and is perpetrated by women with nothing to offer than being a doormat. Now they have the youth growing up thinking that can win a man. Look a typical example she support him through UWI and this is how he pays her back. Stay awoke women.

  16. Joe Linton
    June 28, 2019

    Great answer Bella, is people like that one must STAY AWAY from, playing friend with you but slowly destroying you, i am certainly sure that she already tell all dick and harry and their 90+ cousins about the lady personal life!!!!

    I want to advise her best friend to cancel DD delete her from your bag of friends she is no good and want what’s bad for you… tell her her husband is having an affair as well and if she has no husband or lover she must focus on getting herself a man and stop minding your business!!!!!!! She so boldface she even asking Bella how she can get you to leave your husband, so she will look after your every need?

  17. Unknown
    June 28, 2019

    First of all… I agree with the young girl :lol: :lol:
    Young ones are taking over, The Elderly can take a seat!

    • Annabelle
      June 28, 2019

      I hope you’ll have that same mentality when you get older…i wish you’re a woman

      • Unknown
        July 1, 2019

        Not my fault your husband is cheating on you, Just leave,You all need to pay close attention to the people that you are willing to commit your life to and hope that they are on the same page, Now like I said… Take a SEAT.

    • Dee
      June 29, 2019

      I am a young lady and ashamed by this. I hope you never get old yourself.

      • Unknown
        July 1, 2019

        Blah Blah Blah….

  18. Jojo
    June 28, 2019

    At the feet of the cross is a very good place to leave him. When God finish with him he will be begging his wife for mercy! Don’t beat yourself up girl. This husband has it coming!

  19. ahahahha
    June 28, 2019

    Mind your business mam!!!!

  20. Amarossa
    June 28, 2019

    Girl mind your business! Did your friend ask you to ask Bella anything on her behalf??

    You in the middle of those people marriage like is you it happening to.

    Go and clean your house and mind your business!

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