DEAR BELLA: My in-laws hate me

Dear Bella,

My in laws hate me for no reason and they are making life uncomfortable for  me and my husband.
Firstly, they wasn’t happy when we got married because I am from the ghetto, according to them and he was raised well.
I have two children prior to my marriage and life has been hard for me because yes, I wasn’t raised with much. I was part of a nine member household but I have parents who worked hard to feed us all.
I met this man in church and at first he started by helping me and my two boys with little things we need. He also invited us to his family house during Christmas and they seem to like us.
I now realise they liked the fact that they could make themselves feel better by giving us clothes and food.
Long story short, we fell in love and now they just realise I speak broken English, dress funny and I am nothing compared to him.
We got married without their blessings. It was hard for him because of the way he was raised but he said he wanted to be with me.
Bella, to be honest, in church, they sit far from us; pass us straight and turn up their nose at us.
Everybody whispers and now I am pregnant they make remarks like it’s his money I want.
I love my husband but I am not happy because of what’s going on.
It’s affecting my marriage and my life.
Any advice for me?
Sad wife
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Hello Sad Wife,
Your happiness should never be determined by someone else’s perception of you.
From all I have read, your in-laws are the ones who seem to be unhappy and that’s just too bad for them.
You need to focus on ensuring that your home is happy and you love and respect your husband.
It’s funny that people who claim to know the lord can behave in such manner in his house.
Perhaps they conveniently forgot the part of the Bible that says a man should leave his parents home to be with his wife.
As long as you know your heart is in the right place, leave your in-laws right where they are – in darkness!!
Best,
Bella

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23 Comments

  1. ghetto
    March 17, 2019

    My girl Dominica is a ghetto just check it out. Observe the so called professional and what they say and do isn’t it ghetto. Check the real ghetto guys and tell me if there is any difference what you talking bout ghetto for. I know a guy who lies about everything to engaway from the ghetto but de mor he tri is the more gaway he gets. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING BOUT GIRL. Tell this so called non-ghetto from the metropolis se sort zort ka pale. Pawol kaka zort ca pale.

  2. March 16, 2019

    Sweetheart. I think you are really really wasting you time thinking of your in law action. They have a problem. Not you. Forcuss on your family. That is best for you.

  3. Sorsot
    March 15, 2019

    Here we are in English class everybody going for the test and failing miserably 8)

  4. Moveon
    March 15, 2019

    Are u looking and waiting for their consent and for them to accept you? They might never accept you! what are you going to do? Waste your whole life waiting for them to like you? Live your life with your husband and forget they exist. You didn’t marry the family, you married your husband.

    • %
      March 16, 2019

      well soon they( the man parents ) will try blackmailing him in giving you up. These wicked peeps have their own personal demons that cannot leave em. as their former deeds were so evil. The old saying Misery love company.

  5. As if
    March 15, 2019

    “Long story short, we fell in love and now they just realise I speak broken English, dress funny and I am nothing compared to him.”

    I think she’s referring to the in-laws perception of her. I think when they were dating maybe they thought nothing will come of this. Now she’s married and carry their name they nitpick stuff about her.

  6. LIES
    March 15, 2019

    My girl just try changing who you are. Learn to dress decent, speak properly and take some classes from inspiring women. Join the church and elevate yourself.

    rise rise rise
    let them see you can be better.

    • As if
      March 15, 2019

      OK brown noser.

      Why should she change herself? And who told you she doesn’t dress decent, dressing funny doesn’t equate to dressing like a vemin. I’m also sure it’s the in-laws that implied these things.

  7. Young Wife
    March 15, 2019

    Just love your husband and God will do the rest. My parents were married without the blessing of my dad’s parents. His mom wanted someone else. My mom loved God and with his help was a good wife and daughter in law- never disrepectful. Forward years later- when my grandma passed I think she was closer to my mom than her daughters. Maybe God will use you to let help the family stop playing church and actually live christian lives. Love God, love your husband and trust Him to do the rest.

  8. Maybe
    March 15, 2019

    Who cares about in laws your husband love you you love him that’s all that matters go to another church God bless you move on forget about inlaws

  9. Wise Wife
    March 15, 2019

    Don’t be sad. Your husband “was well raised”, yet he couldn’t find a “well raised” woman to be his wife from his “well raised” community. You might be from the “Ghetto” but the “Ghetto” is not in you. Don’t let your in-laws INSECURITIES ruin or run your life. PRAY for THEM.
    Why do parents want to choose mates for their children? Since when we started this arranged marriage business?

    How much are they willing to pay for a wife or husband?

  10. jamie
    March 15, 2019

    Plus all the members of the church are hypocrities.

  11. malick
    March 15, 2019

    Hey Bella

    Do you edit or make modifications to letters sent to you by your readers? If you do not, and this is an unedited letter from “Sad wife”…. then for someone who claim to speak broken English, her composition is well written.

    Her entire post is coherent and sentences are grammatically well structured. This does not fit the bill of someone who speaks broken English.

    I am not criticizing…. but I am definitely observing…

    • vrai den
      March 15, 2019

      Maybe she had someone help her.

      • %
        March 15, 2019

        Or she only speaks by choice but could write and speak well when & if she chooses to.How about that.
        I know a D/Can With a Phd in English here in London who prefers to speak creole. But flips into a profound brit when need be. How about that? Neve judge a book by it’s cover.

    • zandoli
      March 15, 2019

      Malick
      The letter written by Sad Wife is legible, but to say the sentences are grammatically well structured is incorrect. Here are some examples:
      “me and my husband.” – should have been “my husband and me”.
      “they wasn’t happy” – should have been “They weren’t happy”
      “I have two children prior to my marriage” – should have been “I had two children prior to the my marriage”

      She is well understood, but there are a few grammatical errors in the letter.

      • hmmmm
        March 15, 2019

        But, here you are, correcting with even more errors.

      • just passing thru
        March 15, 2019

        “husband and i”

      • truthful
        March 15, 2019

        Dominicans are very quick to judge. …Mind all you damn business. You want to correct her and you more stupid!!! Stop do marjee with allu self

      • J...F....
        March 15, 2019

        It should read, My husband and I. They were not happy. I have two children from a prior relationship.

      • Zandoli
        March 15, 2019

        Truthful, in this case it cannot be “husband and I”.
        Remove the words “and my husband ” from the sentence and see which of “me” or “I” apply?

    • Hmmm
      March 15, 2019

      I speak broken english and i got a 1 in english cxc. Not because we speak broken means we are unable to write proper english

    • God Helps Those who Helps Themselves
      March 15, 2019

      Malick you are missing the point. ‘Sad wife’ did not say she speaks ‘broken English’. She is stating
      that’s what her in laws think of her.

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