I have a problem. The child I fathered for 15 years may not be mine.
When I met my now wife, she was a bit promiscuous and I decided to settle down with her because she was just a victim of men who let her down.
She’s a wonderful person and she’s been a good wife to me.
I found it strange she got pregnant maybe the first few weeks after we started intimacy.
Anyway, as the boy started to grow, I realize his features don’t resemble mine.
He has nothing of me Bella and only my wife’s nose.
I hear people in the village make remarks but I didn’t bother.
Now it’s bothering me. I want to bring up the matter with her but it could put my marriage under pressure.
Someone told me secretly take the boy for a paternity test but I don’t know.
You need to sit with your wife and address this very sensitive but serious matter.
Your concerns are legitimate but as you said, matters like that can put a strain on relationships if they aren’t handled properly.
Taking the boy for a paternity test without the knowledge of your wife could be the wrong approach.
Let it be something the both of you decide together because from your letter I don’t sense that there exists any contention between you two.
The thing about doubt and uncertainty is that it can cause you to live in misery for all your life. However, on the other hand, knowing (even if it hurts) offers a sense of peace and closure.
Let your wife know what your concerns are and move ahead from there.