Divorce has been identified as one of the major factors that are negatively impacting the family in Dominica.
Lay Associate in Pastoral Care, Davis Letang made that observation at a national consultation which was held here recently.
He said although he was unable to obtain statistics from the government registry on the number of divorce cases in Dominica over the past 5 years, in time for this presentation, information gleaned from a report from the Legal Aid Clinic in the social and economic review for 2016/2017, indicated that during that period, the Legal Aid Clinic saw 33 individuals who were seeking advice on divorce.
“This is very instructive and this tells us something,” Letang stated.
He said the information suggests that young people today are no longer prepared to observe the vow, “until death do us part”.
“Sometimes they make us think that this is something of the past and there are a number of factors that contribute to that including, we don’t probably have the strong religious ethic that we used to have in the past; our society is becoming more liberal. Women are saying, well I am not going to stay in that relationship,” he remarked. “That’s not what I bargained for.”
Letang believes that people have become more liberal, especially women because of the employment opportunities and the strides that women have made in education and therefore the strides that they have made in employment.
He said economic strain in the family is also another factor which has to do with employment.
“We just cannot make it; things are too rough so I have to leave,” Letang said
He said, in addition to that, a lot of the young people tend sometimes to look at what happened with their parents.
“If they had parents who in the past experienced a divorce, it’s very likely that they would do so,” Letang noted.
Biblically there are only one reason for divorce and remarriage, and two reasons for remarriage. The only reason for divorce and remarriage is adultery, and the two reasons for remarriage death or adultery. Many people who are remarried are actually living in adultery because the divorce was not because of fornication.
The church leaders, who should be examples, show negative influence on the communities.
Pastors and elders now divorcing their wives and remarrying.
What do you expect now?
Ok so what you saying now. You just stated what you observed so what’s the point. Sstrupes. Nothing to say someone can read and get a.little suggestion from u. Stupes
Divorce sometimes can kick in when that was not at all on the list in ones mind.Some men doesn’t know how to treat their wives they treat them with verbal abuse ,sometimes physical abuse because of anger problem and lack of respect and wants the woman to shut up and not defend herself,because he thinks he is the bread winner and the head of the home.And still expect you to open up like a clothes peg and sex with them ,hell no.A woman with a poor self esteem will comply but not me.No appreciation,no respect .Well sex is dead between us two.I will not cheat i will keep my body as a living sacrifice ,pure and holy and acceptable, this is my reasonable service.I am not making myself pass like no female stray dog because i say i Do.Well disrespect kicks in with anger to ,well i Don’t.
A woman is not a sex object .Sex and money are not the medicine for a bleeding heart.Keep your sex and keep your money.But peace of mine i require ,God is always my provider.Some men even untidy on their…
Fellow Dominicans this divorce is for real but shamefully sad.Homes and families are being broken or torn apart Well this sounds close to hitting home for me.My husband of34 yrs recently asked for a divorce.He came to Da 2yrs ago to open a business for our family .He hired a girl named ……….. to be a supposedly manager.They are now having an affair,he lives with her ,the mom, and her children and he is still denying ,but it is so.Her mother ……….. is so excited for this affair she thinks that this is the best her daughter can do as she has struck gold.She was also a cashier at this place of business.I am able to move on….My children have refused to discuss this with their dad and at this moment he is back in the USA.
When them leaders should talk, they acting moo moo, now they have lapawòl?
A big part of the problem is finance and romance. Prople love to discuss romance, but are apprehensive about discussing finance; especially men. Because of some men’s ego, they do not want to tell their partner that spending is out of control, so they suffer inwardly, then it reaches a point where the sex decreases as money issues increases. People need to realize that when two people get married, they are marrying debt and assets. People tend to conceal their debt because of fear of losing a prospective mate. However, when debt eventually comes to the forefront, sometimes it is too enormous and too late for any workable solution. Till Death Do Us Part is really till Debt Do Us Part. Someone said When Money Done Love Done. If you are young like me, you may remember these words from a song from the Might Sparrow, which says Ivy Pack Up She Clothes and Leave Because Tom was Down and Out. Anorher factor is Women not staying in abusive relationships like their mothers did, which I…
Personally, I don’t think that it is divorce to blame in this finding, as spoken above. The problem is that there are too many men and woman getting into a “relationship” and producing children–those people never get married, neither do they stay in the relationship for the sake of their children. So then we have single mothers fighting to make ends meet for their children
Single mothers because it is always the man who leaves, for all sorts of reasons.
The reason is that those people get into the relationship without Love, human affection is here today and gone tomorrow, so it happens with the relationship– it is always the children who will suffer
My mom and dad never got married until I was 11 years old, 6 of us were already born. They loved each other and stayed together not even death could separate them, because mom died in 2013, dad followed her in 2014
Where there is no Love, nothing will work; we need to acknowledge that truth.
You know all of this talk about divorce having effect on children in Dominica is foreign to me, unless our morals has changed dramatically, and sexual promiscuity is completely eradicated from the country.
This divorce thing does not ring a bell, people did not go through divorce in our country.
Fact is the majority of our people over the years were Roman Catholic; and we remember the Roman Catholic Church did not grant divorce, nor recognized divorce.
People did not go to court and file for divorce, it was more or less a disgrace for a married couple; to as they would say, leave their husband or wife!
One cannot deny that there are more of us Dominicans born out of wedlock than children in marriage!
Nevertheless, those of us who did not grow up in homes without the presence of both parents were not troubled children with psychological problems.
I believe illicit drugs, cocaine, and marijuana are the problem, not even so much alcohol though a combination is…
Divorce affects the family and the nation because our churches have made the bible a richman thing so those with money can pay for their marriage. When the church was preaching the gospel marriage divorce and remarry was a no no. But when they secretly performed the wedding of one of our national leaders whom they knew was getting married to a woman that was divorced in NY, they sent a very bad message to the rest. Just Sunday we see another National figure got married to a man whose wife is still alive. And we have another known divorcee running for office come next election. So we are building a nation on people that are prepared to break every law of God and man, like NO law, not even God’s laws can stop them from doing what they want to do because they have the money
Let us follow the Two Greatest Commandments
Love Jehovah
Love each other
The pastor states that he doesn’t have the statistics but is ready to say with certainty that divorce is affecting families negatively. Has divorce even been on the rise in Dominica over the last few years? 33 people sought advice on divorce, how many of them actually went through with the divorce? How many are still married? Did any of them enter into counseling and are still working on their relationship? We don’t know and he doesn’t know but is ready to state facts.
Secondly, if divorce is on the rise, have we looked at the reasons why? Yes women are more liberal now than before but is that a bad thing. Do you recommend these women stay in abusive relationships or in cheating relationships or with a man who isn’t meeting their needs.
You are almost blaming women for divorce which is wrong. We need to realize that it takes 2 people to make a relationship work and stop excusing men for their behavior. What has this pastor recommended to stop divorces. Nothing, just…
To echo what you are saying: My grandfather had several children with other women while he was living with my grandmother. They got married after the last one was a young adult. I have uncles and aunts who I never met.
All this time, while growing up, I had this impression that Dominican women very completely at ease with their husbands having outside children. It was years later I found out how much pain my grandmother was in seeing my grandfather popping children with all these other women.
I hardly think that is a relationship that should deserve to be maintained until death do us part. Unfortunately, my grandmother never worked, so she was stuck in a relationship that most modern women who rightfully never tolerate.
@Pastor not making sense, I am in total agreement with you. These guys are simply going on a platform to speak whatever comes into their mind, they do no research, but they that what they say is factual.
What is 33 people, from a whole nation, to use that figure as ratification of his idea?
I know right he hasn’t said a thing about prevention. I saw this as just blowing bubbles. You could not have said it better. He should just shut up his mouth and say no word. That would be better. Stupes
Yes, Divorce has a negative impact on the family especially the child, however, I always say that it is better to create 2 positive environments that all can coexist in than to live in one negative environment and be subjected to tension, emotional, mental and sometimes physical abuse. People change, but should people expect to remain in an unhappy, emotionless or toxic environment because it is seen as something unethical or some predetermined studies that it will automatically result in negative effects? I think the issue is that when we divorce, we FORGET to work on the emotional scars that everyone involved may experience and that is what creates the burdens and children go on to repeat the same mistakes. We do not explain to them the issues at hand and why this was their outcome or entertain their views on the matter. Most of all, they witness the parents harbour unresolved emotional scars.
Blame the women
Conversely, a relationship that is in turmoil has an even greater negative effect on the family. “Until death d us part” is a noble goal provided the relationship works for both parties.
Just recently, I was talking to a woman friend, and she was saying her life is a living hell. The husband is a serial philanderer, and that has been going on even before they were married 40 years ago. They claim to love each other, but to suggest someone stay in that relationship “until death do us part” is to commit oneself to a life of torture. In that particular case, it may come to death do us part. But if I were the woman, I would have left this man ages ago.
There is also a serious level of infidelity too. Our leaders are no examples. The things we do and hear these days, man its unbelievable. When there is no fear of the Lord, people will do anything to fulfill their selfish desires. Instead of we living a life of the scriptures we prefer to bend them to suit us.
“Women are saying, well I am not going to stay in that relationship,” he remarked. “That’s not what I bargained for.”
You damn right … now women know that they have an option. and so do men, by the way ….
If you are being abused- man or woman, then do what you have to do. God will understand. Sad thing is, the signs are usually there before we make the vow, but we believe we can change him/her.
expected it to have a positive impact Pastor?
Like i said. Our leaders of today are not the best examples. Television programs as well have caused this and instilled notions that it is ok to be an adulterer. these days the women taking their foot and playing do back. There is a high private sector industry where cooking containers are made (bomb), thriving more than ever with the introduction of them spaniards. Our social institutions like the the family is in a serious situation. These days i see a lot of people marrying like is a style, then moments later i see the same husband off with another woman somewhere. Or i hear about the old boyfriend of the wife still on the scene. I mean we have sincerely lost our morals as a country in many instances. That is why i always say every country deserves the government/ leader it has. Look at how we behave these days. Look at who is in charge, and i dont just mean in government, i mean in top positions, in the communities, at the home. coincidence? i think not.
This is because our leaders (i.e church, political, public and private sector or social). do not promote family values.
We men have no respect for women and children and by extension families. We do not see establishing good families as a desirable goal, as a success.
We are being pulled by the individualistic culture of the west. Before we were told that family was everything, and family loyalty was important as part of our religious education.
Now no one cares.
We are so hipped to the sexual revolution that we forget basic human values.
Without families there will be no communities and no nations. Because of the proliferation of single mothers families, communities and nations run the risk of deterioration. We men have to be more responsible. Our leaders have to advocate family values in words , actions and attitude.
Well I believe the church is negatively affecting the family.
Well done! This is well articulated. A well balanced point. This addresses the issue in question from its very root. I abide with all u said. Simply put, many of us has failed in promoting the family values in our various positions and chambers. Whether we like it or not, this has badly effected us so much in our behavior towards one another both men and women. Thank you.