I am 13 and shy around girls

I am a 13-year-old boy and I really don’t know how to talk to girls. Plus they make wrong choices.

I have just recently hit puberty and that opened my eyes to all the hot girls here in Dominica but the girls I like I can hardly say anything to them, and when I do it comes out so stupid :(. The girls that are my friends I have no problems talking to them.

What should I do? Should I just tell the girl I like that I like her or what?

Another thing is I’m kind of shy and meeting new girls is kind of a problem for me. I’m also shy around them!!

The other thing that I have noticed is that girls(my age of course) never like the smart guys. They always like the guys who curse or have been in a fight or whatever and that kind of sucks for me because I hardly curse and don’t fight.

HELP ME PLEASE BELLA!

Teen

Dear Teen,

At your age it is almost ‘normal’ when it comes to girls. Probably the girls like that about you. You shouldn’t worry about that too much, instead try to make yourself COMFORTABLE around girls. Just be natural, be normal and don’t try to ‘over extend’ yourself. Don’t worry too much and everything should just come naturally. Try to hide your shyness and just be yourself too!

Concerning girls who like guys who fight and curse, don’t worry about that. You will eventually meet someone who will like you for who you are. Just be yourself and the rest will fall in place.

Good luck

Bella

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78 Comments

  1. June 11, 2013

    Hi Teen! Just read your letter. It was written in 2011 so you are 15 now. Bella gave you good advice. But now, two years later, there are still 13 year olds out there bothered about the same things. I’m going to add my thoughts for whoever might find them in this year 2013. When I was 13 I liked girls a bit but I was too shy to talk to them much. There always seemed to be enough stuff to do with the guys. We played baseball, went fishing, and things like that. Along with school and my church, I had a full life. It wasn’t until I was 19 that I met a girl I wanted for a girl friend. Guess what? We got married! That was 50 years ago! We’re still together. Some of the guys said unkind things to me because I didn’t have a girl friend. I just laughed it off. Some of them had unhappy marriages and later divorced. You said girls your age tend to like guys that curse and fight. These are girls that are insecure and have deep rooted fears, probably because of their home life. Being with “tough” guys makes them feel somewhat protected and safe. But as they mature and get a better hold on life (if they ever do) they will want decent honest men who have a education and can earn a living. So teen, I can tell you that you are on the right road. Stay the course! Your friend in Canada, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  2. BOOBELLA
    April 23, 2012

    Is this Bella person for real? If it was a girl who wrote that story Bella you qould tell them to go in their books, not hide their shyness and be themselves etc. BIASED

    • Evil
      July 3, 2012

      Is dam tru. She sud b saying d same thin 4d boys

  3. vali
    February 20, 2012

    Son what you are feeling is completely normal. Don’t sweat youself about that. You have all your life ahead of you.Every thing will happen in its own time. The important thing for you now is to focus on whats important like your work and being a productive citizen. Take care of your body and be good to others. you will be okay.

  4. wdma nuh
    January 12, 2012

    aww he so sweet….. Now they dont check u so wat study ur books book wen u r exectutive director of wha-ever dem girls gonna be jumpin on u….. Be Kind to the Nerd He might be ur Boss someday

  5. Anonymous
    December 27, 2011

    like i’ve always been told..TAKE YOUR TIME-DO IT RIGHT. focus on ur education,set goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them, by doing these you will also develop the qualities that will make you truly attractive-to the right person and for the right reasons. puberty is a tough couple of years but occupy your time and stay focused. There will always be girls, in fact the world’s population has more girls than boys.so don’t worry.when you get older you will have lots of choices.and your maturity may also take care of that shyness. Remember there is no part of our body that rots before we die. You could mention your thoughts to your parents, don’t be nervous-when they see you’re serious and that you’re growing up into a fine young man-they’ll listen.

    • Anonymous
      March 17, 2012

      Wink

  6. December 13, 2011

    my broda doe study dem ppl go school and learn da best ting u cn do go on different website to hw to get to gurls or do like me right nw try to make dem laugh da like dat speak romance u cn hav a gurlfren an still better ur education bt still put ur wok first in the end she doe want a mn dat broke on da street doe worry bout sex i wil advise u to take time for ur ting to grow if is nt jock be4 u fuk take it from me im in highschool u cn be suprise hw old i am an how i hav so much an still doin well in school take it easy fada live up

  7. SEWO
    December 12, 2011

    shouldn’t he be talking to his parents about that.. I mean no offense Bella but he must have an older brother/cousin or his dad or mum he can talk to to give him advise…
    Just ssying

  8. So Sorry
    December 11, 2011

    i meant 15 to 20 years ago

  9. So Sorry
    December 11, 2011

    you people seem to forget that a thirteen year old today is far more advanced wwith his thoughts than some of ue were 115 to twenty years ago. society has changed so much.

  10. December 9, 2011

    :lol: 8-O you i hope you past your exam :?: :?: :twisted:

    • tarface
      December 12, 2011

      hey stupid! its “passed”, not “past”

      • TeteMorne I from...
        January 12, 2012

        :-D

  11. December 9, 2011

    boy you stupid go school learn and study instead talking foolishnish what they put you and dominica news 4 you will always have your little girlfriend but study your books first

  12. TeteMorne I from...
    December 9, 2011

    You’ll be alrite. I am 80 years old, and I am shy around girls. Go figure! :lol:

    • TeteMorne I from...
      December 11, 2011

      Why de thumbs down? Ebeh some of allu up tight eh? Loosen up the hairstyle or your panty strings! It is a joke! I was kixxing off…sheesh!!

  13. maiiii
    December 9, 2011

    do not be shy i might be 8 but :?: just
    talk to them and try to a bad boy that is
    what girls like ok

    • Anonymous
      December 27, 2011

      you’re 8 and already trying to be a bad boy and get girls?…. I don’t know you and I’m already scared….

  14. HotBoy
    December 8, 2011

    de boy want sex, education canna dance on his disco stick….but on a real, my boy u young still….if u so desperate wen u alone wit a girl n u feelin shy around her, pull out da big guns!

    • big meech
      December 9, 2011

      lol lol lol lol great advise lol

  15. Mohamed
    December 8, 2011

    padna go on redtube and jock your toltol eh until you get the guts to face the girls

    • Anonymous
      December 27, 2011

      really..that’s the advice u wanna give to a 13yr old? he seems decent and respectful. don’t try to spoil him for his parents. It’s ppl like you that promote women as objects. when he’s finally old enough and ready to have a family he’ll be struggling to keep it together and view her with respect.

    • Anonymous
      January 6, 2012

      LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO :lol: :lol: :lol: :arrow: :lol:

  16. December 8, 2011

    Get on DNO when you need a little entertainment. This site really allows you to take your mind off stressful, serious issues and get a good laugh. Dominicans are still funny.

  17. real sinne
    December 7, 2011

    ok my boy…here’s some advice. I regret i didnt do this in highschool to dont take what i’m saying lighly. Get close to the younger girls! those in primary school, those 3-5 years younger than yourself because they eventually grow up into beautiful woman and by that time they’ll already be attatched to you. BRAND YOUR CATTLE WHILE THEY YOUNG!!!!!

    • Ice
      December 8, 2011

      So lets see….hmmm he is 13 minus 3 she will be a little 10 year old minus 5 she will be eight so start branding them while they are 10 and 8 year olds..? You are sick.. I take it that you and all those who gave you thumbs up do not have little 10 and 8 year old daughters for him to brand ? So since he is shy around 13 year olds the solution is to go and screw somebody’s little 10 and 8 year old daughter ? :mrgreen: You real sinne is nothing more than a pervert a damn child molester and you are probably screwing your own little daughters God Help us !

      • real sinne
        December 9, 2011

        who ever said anything about screwing anyone? i said get close to them you idiot! its hard to believe you’d even associate screwing with children that young! you disgust me. yuck! i’m sorry for your children you disgusting pervert

      • Ice
        December 11, 2011

        YOU SAID BRAND THEM O.K.? SO BRANDING THEM MEANS GET CLOSE TO THEM ? LOL WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU FOOLING WITH THAT FORM OF EXPLANATION ? “BRAND YOUR CATTLE WHILE THEY YOUNG” YAH I JUST BOUGHT YOUR STUPID EXPLANATION :mrgreen:

  18. Jwr...
    December 7, 2011

    At 13 all you will need are friends not someone to penetrate. Question here young one… can you maintain a woman and child at present? Can you maintain the woman alone or just a child alone? Laugh with them and talk with them but dont start having sex or else you will find yourself spending most of your adult life trying to get back all you’ve missed when you were a child — E D U C A T I O N —

    • December 8, 2011

      u sound like u talkin from experiece wii

  19. Anonymous
    December 7, 2011

    That’s why you just tell them what they want to here And after you do ur ting finish with them and move on to the next. But BEWARE OF DE H-I-V

  20. December 7, 2011

    I was just starting to read Muslim_Alw post cuz it started on a positive note, but the bashing is uncalled for. smdh. I suggest the 13 just retreat back into his shell and do not come here for advice. God bless America.

    • Muslim_Always
      December 8, 2011

      Because I hate what the Dominican society stands for. It claims it is a Christian nation but it is not. 1 Corinthians is very clear regarding the fornicator and the adulterer will never enter the kingdom of God however, it is so hard to find a single virgin girl for marriage. Most of our men and women have sex outside of marriage, yet, they oppose polygyny with is clear in the bible.

      • Anonymous
        December 27, 2011

        it’s not hard, there are quite a bit…they just don’t want muslims.

  21. me
    December 7, 2011

    STUPES…MADE UP STORY…..AGAIN….

  22. pool bwah
    December 7, 2011

    Boy go school n learn,do ur homework and in d meantime learn to jock ur dam bud.

  23. Wait a Minute
    December 7, 2011

    Partner go study your book and play some nintendo eh. You doh even well have pwel yet you there worrying yourself about girlfriend???

    • tafar
      December 9, 2011

      dont listen to this moron, thats why he’s jobless, childless and lives in his mother’s house playing nintendo all day

  24. William james
    December 7, 2011

    YES BOY I AGREE WITH THE OTHR PEOPLE HERE YOU NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL :-D

  25. MAY
    December 6, 2011

    WHAT ARE YOU ASKING BELLA FOR ADVICE ANYWAY.
    YOUNG BOY PLEASE GO TO SCHOOL EDUCATE YOUR-
    SELF AND YOU WILL GET A GOOD AND WONDERFUL
    GIRL WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. BE PATIENCE
    THE SHYNESS WILL GO AWAY YOU ARE YOUNG JUST
    BE YOURSELF. THESE GIRLS MIGHT NOT LIKE YOU
    BECAUSE SHE GO WITH MEN THAT CAN BE THEIR DAD, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOU BE OK

    • dominican
      December 7, 2011

      very good advise.if this young man is genuine then he must look to the future and set his goals and work towards them. girls will always be there and there will always be some good ones in the future. THAKE YOUR TIME IN LIFE. life is stages like a step one at a time.please young man read your bible and pray , there is a a book called EVERYTHING A TEENAGE BOY NEEDS TO KNOW.go to the book store and see if you get it. read the entire book my friend.

  26. Justice and Truth
    December 6, 2011

    A 13-year old is concerned about getting a girlfriend or more? Something is really wrong with his mind. Are you not loved by your parents? Do you not have brothers and sisters whom you can relate to?
    Now is your time to study and write your exams. Keep your head in the books. When you have completed school, then, you can concentrate on getting a girlfriend. In fact, you do not even have to think of it, it will just happen.
    You are talking about hot girls, eh, at 13 years or so? Take the advice of all those who inform you to study and wish you well. This is your time. Those years fly too quickly. Think, after you graduate of furthering your education and obtaining a good career. This should be your primary concern at this time.
    Of course, you can have girl friends at your age but they should be platonic. At 13, all of us who are older had friends of the same age. It is healthy to have good friends.
    Do not dabble or wish for what which is meant for adults. You have not yet reached that stage. Keep calm.
    At this stage in your life you should think of nothing else or less but your schooling. In time everything will take place.
    Do you go to Church? Then at your age you should think God, i.e., keep your mind on him and pray to Him to assist you in all phases of your young life, during your school years and into adulthood and for the future. I wish you well.

  27. Muslim_Always
    December 6, 2011

    What pathetic bloggers on D.N.O, these hypocrites pretend as if they were never 13 years old! They pretend as if they were saints and never indulged in the opposite sex or same sex for that matter especially the little faggots hiding behind close doors with their bible under their arms. No wonder this society is so damn backward because their thinking is backward.

    To my 13 year old friend, don’t listen to these idiots who are all about school school school! Your feelings are natural and normal, at least you are not a faggot, a scum of the earth. Your crushes etc, for these hot females is natural, what you need to do right now is to read more to understand about your body. No need to tell the girls you like them, a lot of them their character is ugly in any case, covering their beauty with makeup but many of them taking man for money and top up. Don’t make their status in society fool you, their mother working in the bank and their father is a doctor…none of this b.s. Don’t make their looks fool you. Simply play it cool, they are human beings who sh*t, eat and sleep like you as well. If you can’t say much my boy, just say hi, just keep it normal and friendly. A chick from high school one day may become your lover so don’t rush anything.

    Also my boy, don’t follow foolish fellas fight and so on, don’t be jealous. Your time must come, woman always there my boy. Manage your school and your feelings, you see, if you were a Muslim you could get married whilst you going school so at least you can release your sex stress but those Dominican retarded parents do not understand about chastity and virtue. All they can do is dress naked, kokay for top up, house etc, sewo every Friday night, gossip and slander people. What a worthless set of people!

    • yes i
      December 6, 2011

      aye – years I not yet hear from you – welcome back muslim_always

    • RASTAFARI
      December 7, 2011

      Sound advice, where were you when I was 13?

      As-Salamu Alaykum

      • hmmm
        December 7, 2011

        At 13 i was not looking for man. Sorry.

    • Truth
      December 8, 2011

      Your comment made my day!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
      “All they can do is dress naked, kokay for top up, house etc, sewo every Friday night, gossip and slander people.”

  28. ANTICOME 2
    December 6, 2011

    Reading the responses to this child dilemma amazes me. This child is just reaching out, trying to understand himself and the emotions that courses through his body at this scary time. If that’s the way we respond to a child just wanting a little guidance at this precious time in his life…then we are wondering why are there so many broken relationships, promiscuity, disrespect of women, failing marriages…I think we need alot of parenting classes to save our future generation from making the same mistakes that we did…

  29. Aye Dominique
    December 6, 2011

    Child go do your homework….

  30. December 6, 2011

    WHAT THE HELL MR DOING ON DNO? EH?
    GO AND DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK

    • MangoSweet
      December 7, 2011

      Now BRUCE – whoever you are, your outburst gives the very distinct impression that you ARE a bad child abuser!!

      • December 7, 2011

        ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DENSE?
        OR ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM A DEARTH OF SUFFICIENT VOCABULARIZATION?
        WHAT, I MEAN, WHAT WAS IT ABOUT THAT STATEMENT THAT LEAD YOU TO THAT CONCLUSION… IDIOT?

        FOR THAT MATTER I THINK YOU TOO SHOULD STAY OUT OF DNO… OR AT LEAST GET SOME GREY MATTER FIRST

    • DAT U HEAR WI
      December 7, 2011

      he dosent have home work its test tyme sot

  31. December 6, 2011

    even if he goes to school and learn and learn well, he will still have the urges. It’s only human nature at work here. he has hit puberty ppl. boy i suggest you get one of those complete tween books or a book about puberty and or good grooming and u should b good to go.

    • Justice and Truth
      December 6, 2011

      At his age too much TV and computer surfing, etc.?

  32. Truth
    December 6, 2011

    My buoy… you smart already, treat all the girls you like as friends, don’t expect anything from them and you will never be disappointed. If you cannot verbalize your thoughts to the ones you like, start writing short letters or notes (anonymous) if you don’t know what to say use the lyrics from songs the girls like. Another thing is you need to differentiate yourself from others, not by joining the crowd but being good at something no one else is good at or having a possession no one else has. Watch them come to you. Go EZ my buoy.

  33. pusina
    December 6, 2011

    WHAT COSIONEY PAPA LORD. SMDH :twisted:

    • MangoSweet
      December 7, 2011

      DNO Admin, that is one comment that should never have been posted. If you are non-Kweyol-speaking Dominican, you may not get the drift of the outburst, from “what… the next 2 words)

    • pusina
      December 7, 2011

      WHOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE IT HOT DEBATE

  34. December 6, 2011

    wondering if a 13 yr old boi wud even be reading dear bella?………bella wrote this herself lol

    • Neg Gwanbay
      December 6, 2011

      @fanatic Lol i think bella write dat one for real.

    • liverpool
      January 6, 2012

      yes a 13 yr old would b readin it cuz i am twelve……..n it hav so much beth

  35. ....................
    December 6, 2011

    If it is really a boy who wrote this,HE SHOULD BE IN EITHER 1st or 2nd form.It is exam time and he should be concentrating on passing his exam…BOY YOU ARE NORMAL, DONT GIVE MUCH CONCENTRATION TO THAT at this stage of your life than your school work… You WILL WRECK YOURSELF EARLY IF YOU DO.YOUR HFLE TEACHER will eventually teach you about that during HFLE…YOU AND HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of other boys feel the same way…You are still a child, this will go away with time.

  36. ICEMILK
    December 6, 2011

    CHILD GO AND STUDY YOUR BOOK AND KEEP YOURSELF QUIET.

    • Justice and Truth
      December 6, 2011

      @ ICEMILK

      I agree with you.

    • Anonymous
      December 7, 2011

      i dont think that going to help with his shyness stupes that all allu doing bringing down his self esteem

  37. We the People
    December 6, 2011

    Young man, forget about the girls for now. Focus on your studies. You will be surprised how many women you will get once you have accomplished your goals at school and in the workforce.

    When you become more mature the words will come. Don’t worry.

    When you making real money, you will have you pick of the best women out there. Don’t rush it.

    When I was about 14, I ued to wnder how the older guys got all those women. Trust me when I tell you, if you have the right tools in the cabinet (and I don’t mean a large penis), such as a good education, good social skills, being well read (a good conversationalist), a caring personality etc., good quality women will flock to you. Work on those skills and one day and you will look back and laugh at how easy it was.

    • Anonymous
      December 6, 2011

      Good advice. He will also realise that any woman who values herself won’t pick the man who curse and fights over the one who is educated and treats women right.

  38. smh
    December 6, 2011

    GO TO SCHOOL AND LEARN…WATCH COSBY U’LL LEARN HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS WHEN U OFF THE AGE TO DO SO…

    SMH

  39. Mr.Views
    December 6, 2011

    Boy You Doh Have Exams? If I Was One Of Your Parents I Would Tomp You Down!!! Hope You Pass Your Exams. I Hope You Doh Write I Like Girls 250 Times On The Exam Sheet. Shait Man!!!

    • Theatrics
      December 6, 2011

      Lol… you are 100% Dominican to de bone…I can actually hear the words coming out ofyour mouth… good laff and good tomp!!

      • D
        December 6, 2011

        Seriously. That one had me cracking up self. lol @ “tomp you down.”

    • show me the money
      December 6, 2011

      mr. views,you sound like an A**********.dont you think before you write? hope you tomp yours or that is if you will know they having sex.

  40. hmm
    December 6, 2011

    Boy go to school and learn you hear.

    When the right girl comes the right words will also.

    Besides, you might be too small for plenty of those ‘hot’ girls. Plenty of them like big man. So you’ll have to wait another 3 to 4 years. It’s life. Don’t worry. Just learn your work

  41. Angel
    December 6, 2011

    What is wrong with young children now a days?
    You are a child!just 13,what girls you talking about?

    Young child,your focus should be your studies right now,to make something good of your self!!!!!

    If you were at least 16,I would have understood,but thirteen? Please!!when I was your age,I didn’t know about these things.
    You children are really INTERNET CHILDREN!!!!!

  42. IZ DAT U HERE WII
    December 6, 2011

    CHILDDDDDDDDDDDDD FOCUS ON YOUR EDUCATION EHHH GIRLS ARE ALWAYS AROUND!!!! CONCENTRATE ON YOUR [email protected] CXC EVEN THOUGH IT FAR STILL STUPESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    (and bella keep those children away from those story eh if he had a math problem and was asking for help)STUPESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AGAINNNNNNN!!!!!

  43. fatty batty
    December 6, 2011

    good advice bella still young you learn alot in due time meantime,just be yourself every thing will come naturally.

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