My boyfriend doesn’t kiss or hug me unless we are making love

Dear BellaI am a 26-year-old woman and I am really looking for the right man but its just that I have had bad luck in the past.

This carnival I met a guy and I  really like him. I want to have something serious with him but I don’t know how he feels about me.

He keeps tellin me he really likes me but as you know action speaks louder than words.

One night we were making love and I said to him, “I am really falling in love with you.” His reply to me was “It’s only now?”

I don’t think that was a response I wanted to hear. He has introduced me to his parents and everything and I even started spending weekends at his parent’s house.

What I find strange is that he doesn’t kiss me and hug me unless we’re in bed and making love; in other words having sex.

Another thing is that he told me before me and him got together he had a girlfriend but she went overseas. He claims they have nothing anymore but while cleaning his room I saw that he has a picture of them together.

Bella should I continue falling for this guy or leave him and move on?

Lost

Dear Lost,

I find it strange that you met a guy just this carnival and is already having sex with him and spending time at his parent’s house. It is making me feel that you rushed into this relationship without much thought.

I have the feeling that this guy is still in love with the “girlfriend that went overseas” and is simply making use of you. The fact that he only wants to hug you only when you two are having sex says quite a bit: his heart is just not there.

I encourage you to take a hard look at this relationship and have a straightforward conversation with your boyfriend. You need to let him know that you are serious about the relationship and his actions are really bothering you.

Another thing you can do is start acting as he does, giving him a mirrored reflection of himself. Don’t show any affection. If he’s happy with the two of you acting like buddies rather than a couple, then its time to move on.

Bella

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122 Comments

  1. dominican in L. A
    May 3, 2012

    all u hav to do is get him drunk then try again cause carnival all u hook up n now he cold so bring back the carnival feelings

  2. strength
    April 24, 2012

    all u women to cheap. just carnival and u li down already take all u time cheap heads

  3. country girl..
    April 16, 2012

    If it was me I would bite off his nose tongue…..and his lips…make him whistle when he talk..

  4. good girl sxm
    April 9, 2012

    cheapy , u was just a carnival toy and maybe he is going through emotional trauma his woman not there so carnival he bought u for nothing so keep him company while the sugar in his tea returns . doo mat he got u cheap so he sees u as classless bet he uses condon cause u are a carnival products ,how many men do u pass every carnival. what do u expect fet he fet wiith u , u lucky he did not give u carnival baby . open and cose your legs like a clothes peck all u need is hanging fool .,you better keep yourself for a decent man and stop being cheap .cheap slut . next year canival coming soon u will get another and he will take u to his grand parents grave ,SAKWE SALOP.SAKWE VOLE u want man and how would he lok a pick up and dilevery .he dont want pizza he want real home made delicious meal . not an old left over stale hard pizza that u just manage when there is no food at the moment.girl gabbage he need to trowu or else you will make him sick n die.you are poison.

    • A girl
      May 16, 2012

      Good girl smx, your tongue is so dirty. LOL

  5. April 6, 2012

    who feels it knows it!

    • KATIE
      November 4, 2012

      DEFIANTLY IF YOU CAN FEEL IT OR YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH IT YOU KNOW IT GREAT COMMENT AND DON’T BE EMBARRASSED :oops: TO SPEAK UP AND TELL YOUR MAN OR WOMEN THAT THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME CHANGES :-D XXX

  6. 100%TRUTH &BALANCE.
    April 6, 2012

    WHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT.

  7. 100%TRUTH &BALANCE.
    April 6, 2012

    WHO FEELS IT HAS DONE IT AND HAS BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT. BUT BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER.

  8. UDOHREADYET
    April 5, 2012

    Bella gave great advice on this one. no comment.

  9. Justice and Truth
    April 4, 2012

    Bella gave her a good advice. Anyone ever thought of how long he may have been with his girlfriend who is now overseas and that he misses her which is why he reacts to this one in such a manner? They may be communicating daily.
    In addition if the girlfriend has gone to reside overseas she may be sponsoring him. Therefore, he is only passing time with this present girlfriend. She should really have a heart-to-heart talk with him and from his response make the decision to remain with him or not. She must consider that he may also not be truthful. Lady, avoid being deceived and heartbroken.

  10. MiTchel&PrinceFamily
    April 4, 2012

    Tell mr check his vibess!!

  11. Cork
    April 4, 2012

    MY sister grab hold of your vibrator and you will live a life of “OO stress. I sell them at a dis–count place your order while they last.

  12. joe
    April 4, 2012

    not hugging and kissing is not even a problem .my husband doesnt really do that and if he does its just a wipe on the mouth(he is not that romantic,but i learn to deal with it .i make the moves and he follows

    • Justice and Truth
      April 4, 2012

      @ joe

      Some men are frigid. They do not know what true love is all about. They are only interested in sex and nothing else. This is what it boils down to when they will only show their emotions and a little of it only during sex. It is indeed sad. Furthermore types like these got married for other reasons than true love. It is frustrating for women. Few women will put up with that. If it were the woman, they would find another woman and also divorce the wife who is cold. Such men need counseling.

      • joe
        April 5, 2012

        thanks.that really make sence

  13. ME R
    April 4, 2012

    PEOPLE, PLEASE BE KIND TO EACH OTHER! EVEN THOSE YOU HAVE NEVER MET. WE HAVE ALL MADE MISTAKES IN LIFE. NO ONE IS PERFECT. YES BELLA, YOU GAVE HER A GOOD ADVISE. HIS HEART IS NOT QUITE READY SO SOON.HE IS SAYING INDIRECTLY, THAT HE NEEDS SOME TIME, DONT RUSH THINGS, ALLOW HIM TO PERSUE YOUR LOVE. YOU ARE VALUABLE, JUST BE PATIENT, THAT`S WHAT LOVE IS,” PATIENT”. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH HAVING A PHOTO,HE JUST HAVE TO PUT IT IN AN ALBUM. TO AVOID REGRETS, DONT RUSH LOVE, IT WILL FIND YOU, BECAUSE IT IS HERE FOREVER!!

  14. Phenomenal Woman
    April 4, 2012

    Somehow I believe you know the answers to your own problems so why come to bella? The man is just using you…smh..#commonsense

  15. Jase
    April 4, 2012

    move on girlly. move on. Let him find you when the time is right.

  16. eagles125
    April 4, 2012

    This guy sounds like a bus driver I know from the north. That’s his ammo.

  17. Pusina
    April 4, 2012

    Lost to me you song like a little lost Ti Sal. Because those ways of yours are sal. What you expect you having sex and giving up the thing within this short time so you dow expect the man to play you like a little one night stand hence he has exposed you to his parents etc that still doesn’t attest that he takes you serious. Woman is time you pull back. Dow be going and open you all legs for man so fast then when you all don’t get the reaction you all looking for then you all crying foul. And as it relates to the picture i don’t see no reason in him still having the picture puss. Songs like u insecure Puss. Need i say more

    • Pusina
      April 4, 2012

      Who dow like what i say..come forward i face the queen. Thanks

    • B.E.B
      April 4, 2012

      I dont think that there is nothing wrong about a man having pictures of his past lovers, I for sure have several photoes of my past girlfriends and we do not have any thing in common , just remain friends

      • Girlfriend
        April 5, 2012

        You must be collecting photos to make a scrape book.

    • wondering
      April 5, 2012

      i agree with u ….u jus met the boy and u sellin ur pizza for him..my gurl sex is not runnin away take ur time u neva kno he might be tellin the oda gurl de same ting…be careful!!!

  18. Modern woman
    April 4, 2012

    Why is a 26 year old man still living at his parents home? Is he unemployed or unemployable? And Why in 2012 DA peeps still thinking its the amount of time a woman waits to give up the coochie that will make a man think “she is a good woman” or want to settle down with her? Reality is that some times a woman can wait for a year to give it up and IF that man really wants to be with HER it won’t be an issue. Other times she will wait for a year to give it up , and that man MIGHT hang around although he doesn’t want her but he hanging in there to hit it and quit it. Moral of the story” DA WOMEN STOP ACTING LIKE ALL U COOCHIE IS THE POT OF GOLD AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW AND THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO OFFER A MAN. STOP USING IT AS A BARGAINING CHIP. My sisters there is more to you than that. Just because you don’t “give it up” does not mean you are wife/girlfriend material. It means you are calculating. Be independent, be proud, be your own person. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ALL NEED A MAN TO DEFINE YOU. THAT YOU NEED A HUSBAND TO CONSIDER YOURSELF RESPECTABLE OR ACCEPTABLE. Sisters are doing it for themselves. Sex is not supposed to be something that just a man enjoys or some favor you are doing him. And my brothers why are you all letting sisters treat you like going to bed with you is some grand favor? That is one part of a relationship. FYI if a guy really wants to be with YOU the fact that you gave it up after one night or one year should not affect the way he feels about you.My husband and I been together for over ten years. We didn’t have sex the first time we met but we did after a week. There was no calculating, it was a natural occurence between two people who desired each other.

    • DA Brother
      April 4, 2012

      This is the best response I have seen here.

      I met this woman at a party at her house. It was not love at first sight, but we had a good conversation that night. About two weeks later, we made love. I liked her but was definitely not in love with her yet.

      Fast forward 29 years and I am more in love with her now than I have ever been. And this is not just another cliche. Whereas we were very much in love the first few years, I would say our relationship was vulnerable to other influences because we were still very young and therefore we were more likely to breakup at that point despite being in love.

      Right now, I cannot see anything that can come between my wife and I.

      So for you women who think withholding sex is somehow a mark of virtue, you are kidding yourselves. I am not saying you have to jump in bed with every man you meet. But your inner self tells you when it is right. There is no one formula that governs relationships.

      • Original-Eagle EYE
        April 4, 2012

        DA Bro & Modern Woman I cosign on your postings too! Our women are still burdened by the society they grew up in. Dare to stick your neck out and you are labeled. I know grown ass Dominican women paying their own bills and pushing man out of their house 3 am because of the neighbour or mammy! and I”m talking professionals. They have more rules than a ruler and for what? Yawning right about here. To me when you are 18-23 some things stand as you grow older you should start to reason somethings out. As for those bible toting ones about sex before marriage. I test drive my car, I try on my clothing to see if it’s the right fit, my makeup must match my skin tone, and likewise if my man eh floating my satin sheets then brother thou art loose. It won’t be the first night, but so what if that just so happens to be an emotional mood setting evening, we both had a good time! it becomes a problem when people associate sex and love making with instant ownership and relationship. I think I have out grown Dominica.

        It’s our society that have us so, grown women on dry dock because they waiting for horse and carriage and then they truly settle before train leave them down. They come in a party and they’re like wallflowers minding people buiness…hahaha

    • indeginous one
      April 4, 2012

      THATS TRUE MY SISTER U HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD,I THINK THIS SISTER SHOULD TAKE ANOTHER TURN IN HER RELATIONSHIP. SHE NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH HER MAN LET HIM KNOW HOW SHE FEELS AND THINK ABOUT THE WAY HE DO THINGS WITH HER.I HOPE THIS RELATIONSHIP IS NOT JUST TO FULFILL HER BOYFRIEND SEXUAL DESIRE..

      • indeginous one
        April 4, 2012

        ladies i just want to remind u all ,be aware men introduce themself in the name of sex!!so ladies if u are looking for a permanent relationship u better know how to bet your cards right…

    • April 4, 2012

      what u said there is true,a lady up morn rachete did that to a friend, he help her paid her bills give her money for four months not ahugg,as soon he stop and told her he cant do it any more she called him all kind of names,and all he thinking is sex, well well

    • obeserver
      April 5, 2012

      where in the story that telling you the feller age.

    • diva girl
      April 5, 2012

      thou i strongly agree with your statement and i applaued you, but we cant deny that some boys and boyish men… believe that just because girl gave it up easily i may say, that they have a right to treat her and talk to her any way.. even disrespect her in public because they believe they have some claim or something to use against her… ladies do whatever makes you happy and do not put ur head down for nobody.. be proud of who u are and the decisions you made.. life is to short to be wondering “what if” sex is to enjoy and the same way a man can use a woman… a woman can use a man.. it happens all the time.

  19. Original-Eagle EYE
    April 4, 2012

    Some of you act like you walk on water. Maybe we all have a different emotinonal attachment timelines. Where I fault her is for being so available to him.Clearly this is a man in love with his girlfriend who happens to be abroad, they are NOT done, and that’s where his heart and attention is. She is opening up to heartbreak.All that stuff about toothpaste and deodorant and being a slut, come on Dominicans move and mature with the times. When people send those letters to Bella or other sites, it’s a way to engage our own life experiences and note what did I miss? Not to tear them down.

    Honey this man is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! you are a free up for his sexual exploits which for a man lacks any emotion, unlike women where we tend to attach feelings to sexual acts.We are different species and so we respond to things differently. Meeting his parents is niether here nor there, they are not the ones you are involved with. I’d say his NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND, just someone you cling to because you yourself seem emotionally insecure.Do some ME & MYSELF ALONE TIME, learn who you are as a woman, what makes you tick, be the best woman you can be, you can’t give genuinely what you lack completely I.E.. SELF LOVE!

    By the way I cosign to those who speak about our Dominican men lack of love making skills, it is not true of all but for many SEX is what they consider making love and that is the only time they can be affectionate. If you hug them, they are ready to put you down like a puppy and hump, they can’t deal with intimacy without intercourse and that is a fact. Women can tease all day and not necessarily want to go further.. Men are from Mars, Women are from Jupiter.. we are built differently.. but we can have a meeting of the minds so both parties are enriched in their relationship.

    • hmmmm
      April 4, 2012

      that’s so true and some foolish woman don’t see that once it have another woman that’s mean your not the only one

    • taffy
      April 4, 2012

      I just want to say, what ever happened to Venus. You said Men are from Mars, women are from jupiter>

  20. Anonymous
    April 4, 2012

    Run like hell. Dominican men are nasty. Check for a disease, and don’t look back.

  21. sheldon snoppy walsh
    April 3, 2012

    well my dear, u damn nasty… lent doh even finish yet and u claimin rooom.. magway sah

  22. blackants
    April 3, 2012

    I see nothing wrong with havin Sex with the man we all doooo.truth is from that point that says you can’t feel him it simple means he aint have it for you it maybe for the time,he may be Hurting who knows and have to Protect his heart.may only hope is that you all protected yourselves and we all kno most time we don’t.

  23. Think About It
    April 3, 2012

    Who the hell do you think care about your disgusting and crazy episode. That’s your problem nobody gives a rat tutu what you and your man do in your dirty bedroom or under the house in the car whereever.Go away already stop wasteing DNO time to spread your filth get a life you moron.May be you are not worthy of a hug and a kiss unless he is ready for a quickie LMFAO may be you are too easy to get, keep you legs close. It’s a shame you are not smart enough to know how dumb you really are, go away shoo fly you fire crotch hoho.

    • fair and balance
      May 5, 2012

      you sound so angry and bitter,seem like you`ve been where she is.You think she`s wasting DNO time, but aren`t you wasting your time as well?

  24. him
    April 3, 2012

    You are to easy. Men don’t love easy women like that, other than to put it on them and finish. OK?

    • diva girl
      April 5, 2012

      that is a big lie!!! some women will give the man house land and car and everything he need… take care of him and he will still take all that and bring it for the lil jazzibelle down the sheet… i have seen that most men love nasty girls.. they have the deadly wine!!

      • knows
        April 5, 2012

        BUT WHY CANT U BE NASTY FOR UR MAN? EHEH

  25. forreal
    April 3, 2012

    well well carnaval does do things eh,gal leg already bust wide open eh,now you wondering how you feeling eh,no name no warrant,but doh worry you having beat russia yet,you just on the bakery level,for you to ask yourself a question,you asking bella,carry on.

  26. huh
    April 3, 2012

    You are not the guy’s girlfriend. You to fassss. And all that rubbish about meeting the parent’s doesn’t mean ish. When did u become is girlfriend?

  27. GOM
    April 3, 2012

    You like sex too much.He is right.You are just a stepney.
    No insult but check your breath, your teeth, make sure your eyes is not filled with lar see, and your nose is clean, no lar wim,or mark larwim by your nose…If all is in place, and he does not hug you. WATCH IT, “he is saying how comes you are so easy, even sex i get from her already?” THEN HE IS SAYING WELL EVERY TOM DICK AND HARRY CAN TRICK HER.I AM NOT EVEN HUGGING HER. AMEN!

  28. HMMMMM
    April 3, 2012

    My husband is the same thing…. Its disease Dominica man have.. they not romantic at all

    • T
      April 3, 2012

      you are sounding like someone who got a six for a nine.Alas poor pity!

    • ....................
      April 3, 2012

      Check your hygiene.

    • Yes
      April 3, 2012

      Lol. I agree.

    • him
      April 3, 2012

      toothbrush, toothpaste,roll on etc. Learn to be sweet and to smell sweet.

      • Anonymous
        April 4, 2012

        please u know DA woman does take care of themselves doe try dat… women going out of the way for allu man

    • .
      April 3, 2012

      parcise good hygiene at all times. It makes a difference.

    • STUPESS
      April 3, 2012

      I beg to differ…trust me i know that Dominican men can be romantic especially if he is in love or with a woman who doesn’t stress him…

    • Ministry Vouchers
      April 4, 2012

      Bondieu I couldn’t agree with you more!!!! and fuss they are insecure and think they know it all. Everything is where you learn dat, me I not doing that, they common and casual. Yes I said it. Totally unromantic and lacking then they blame women.Sadly some other women fall for that and even slam the woman in question not realising soon enough they will get their share. They lie, cheat. Oh gosh, let me write Bella too tan, but this time about the lack of activity and fullfillment. Dominican men can’t even appreciate a nice bra and panty, they want to depants you one time…

      • Dominican
        April 4, 2012

        lol.

      • knows
        April 5, 2012

        LOL…LOVE THIS ONE ‘DEPANTS’

    • favors
      April 4, 2012

      Darling you are missing out on a a good man…. Don’t classify all Dominican Men with your husband.. your husband not doing right that is him… but I sure got a very loving, romantic, understanding, one of a kind husband and he loves me and i love him with all of my heart… So darling find some way to spice up your relationship… simple things are very helpful… talking.. taking a walk.. chit chatting like you have just fallen in love all over again… girl make it work and don’t try to make it dry….
      Tips for you

      • hmmmmmmm
        April 4, 2012

        girl not even dat d man want to do… he always to tired to walk and too sleepy to talk.. as for the underwear he wantt to take it out as we start making ,love and then he complaing i have too much energy for him

      • MOI
        May 4, 2012

        Favours, I’ve been with mine for 7 years; He’s a wonderful hard working man who tries to please me in so many other ways; Love making is great! we do everything together; we work out, jog, shop, and party together. He’s extremely quiet, so I’m the great communicator in the relationship. Most times I have to pry things out of him. He is so unaffectionate! Only during love making he gets mushy. I walk around in thongs, perform for him (dance half naked) and I’m also a teaser, so he gets a lot of that. He gets excited, but does not hold hands, touch, or caress unless I initiate it. Says “I love you” when I say it, and mostly during love making, and will express it via text at least once per week. I’ve discussed his lack of affection with him a few times and he would try to improve for several days and then go right back to his old ways. Are you ready for this? He’s ANTIGUAN not DOMINICAN, so I guess people are people regardless of their nationality.

  29. Hotboy
    April 3, 2012

    Mr doe want u….What u giving between da sheets jus probably sweet 8)

  30. hmmmm
    April 3, 2012

    this a convo between 2 a woman that’s sleeping with a married man and working at the same place … donz
    No problem now I watching your pic you looking good. tony thanks just take it easy im here any time you need me …what are you looking for in a man and what you like and dislike donz I like a loving ,caring and honest man also faithful what I don’t like lairs ok… donz We need to talk later ok..It is very serious and I don’t want to lose you..tony ok sure babes .. donz Ok the lady you tell me about I know her and I want to stay faraway from her donzAs you know he working same place with me and he was behind me but didn’t know he was married but anyway we didn’t reach far in nothing then wife thought we had something she making my life hell…tony hmm she seems to be a nice person and she talk with us yesterday and invited us to her wedding she said she renewing her vows because her husband cheated on her and he lie about it but then confess about it ..and the woman use to call and text his phone even when they was in bed …and they been married 14 yrs so nobody at work told you he was married and have kids …donz Nobody wasn’t sure I putting them behind me she threating me alot tony how long he been working with you …u never see his wife our kids before u should have ask him and find out about him he come here to see her all the time i once meet them in tola with a baby they was spending the day and i went with my boy go check them ….wow did you sleep with him and u can trust me all you have to just be open and truthful we all make mistake ….she said the woman sleep with her husband many times and that she once call and the woman admitted to it but hubby say it was lie… donzYes we did sleep together I make a mistake I been lied to many times that’s why I can’t truths anyone right now that’s the way allot of woman do with people man then say i did not no he married

    • Truthofthematter
      April 3, 2012

      What the…..??????? Where does this come in?? Boy allu people have jokes eh boy.

    • (.) (.)
      April 4, 2012

      :-D

    • Esther
      April 5, 2012

      WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

  31. April 3, 2012

    Girl u just meet the man u already jumping in bed with him come on is so ppl getting jojofee there u know lol.

  32. john doe
    April 3, 2012

    thats a record man …. u can just stop fallin in love ,…. ha ha ha ha… girl stop spread ya legs so easy eh…

  33. Shameless
    April 3, 2012

    Check ur breath 8)

    • daggy
      April 3, 2012

      lol i never thought of that

  34. April 3, 2012

    SEx out of marriage is wrong so take what you get.You should learn to make wise decisions based on Godly principles.The greatest love is the love of God.Sin is a reproach to a nation.STop bringing down yourself and the country with the sin of fornication.

    • Dominican
      April 4, 2012

      what you saying is true but u cannot blame the girl.. so many things that is not right??? is not FORNICATION ALONE THAT WRONG!!!! God watching fornication and lying as the same sin.. ALL SIN IS SIN.. WTH!!!!

    • MOI
      May 4, 2012

      @ Vip: No body having more sex than those so called CHRISTIANS who like to quote scripture verses from the Bible. What a set of HYPOCRITES :lol:

      • ME R
        May 7, 2012

        TO MOI. WELL THEN, YOU MUST BE A VERY FAITHFUL CHRISTIAN!!

  35. miss B
    April 3, 2012

    lord help them

  36. Rule
    April 3, 2012

    You moving too fast! It seems like a one sided love affair. Enjoy the ride…..

  37. Sout City Shabin
    April 3, 2012

    so……..thats how sin does go down now? 6 months doe passing again before you sleep at man house no more? is meet now vrap vrap claim as man and woman say we supposedly loving and love each other and ya business rolling? MY LADY YOU ARE OLDER THAN ME you’re 26 AND ACTING LIKE A 15 YEAR OLD what is going onnnnnnnn i’m ashamed and i dont even know u…..he do right treat you so i bet u his heart overseas still from time man say he have a gf but she overs is then your head have to be on BUT NOOOOOO urs look like it went off vit pwaysay…..like bella said give him tht mirror effect cuz YOUR ATTITUDE SHOULD BE BASED ON HOW HE TREATS YOU dont go loving him up and is shit u get in return geeeezz u 4 years short of 30 and act likeu 4 years short of 20 liek a young naive girl soon to be in denial get out of that drama before you stick and get hurt simple

    • LR
      April 3, 2012

      lolzzzzzz u heard!! lol…grow up chica…on a real you 26 and you think meeting a guy at val is gonna get you love….woy…lol…

    • Rule
      April 3, 2012

      @ south City Shabin. What?????????????

      • Sout City Shabin
        April 3, 2012

        someting wrong dred?

  38. DANZIGER
    April 3, 2012

    My dear u are so wrong you meet a man for carnival 2012 and u did all that. My girl be careful stop, stop,stop please think relax pick up sense and the answere is there. You should get information first cuz this man is a USER, LIAR and MALONETTE. You still young leave him alone and rest then start a new life dont rush take yr time good things comes to those who wait bye have a nice day. Courage my sister I feel yr pain.

    • Met Yo
      April 4, 2012

      You calling man “USER, LIAR and MALONETTE”, but sometime it’s quite the opposite.

      Some women will throw their panty in your face before they see you walking the streets of Roseau then after they want to say that man don’t love them.

      let’s just say that if she did not open her leg in the air so fast like 2 wambote, she wouldn’t be complaining now.

      • DANZIGER
        April 4, 2012

        @ Met Yo, that’s what he is for sure a USER. That is why I am an independent woman I AM THE CAPTAIN and if they bend i’ll put them out I work too much too hard and too long for a man to use me oh no. I WOULD RATHER LEAVE ALONE THAN TO TURN A POPPET UNDER A MAN. NO way

  39. sayodityodit
    April 3, 2012

    I think when you making love to him he remembers the other girl who is overseas and that is why he hugs u wishing it was her he was hugging instead. You moved way to fast my girl. You need to rethink this and quickly.

    • DANZIGER
      April 4, 2012

      Amen @ sayodityodit, you are so right.

  40. aha moment
    April 3, 2012

    Well, we all no the symptoms of an unavailable man…he won’t hug or kiss you in public, nor casually, but will do so in bed. All his complements are crude and sex related. He woun’t take you to classy places. He doesn’t talk about the future with you..not even for the next few months…when you start talking about marriage or kids he smiles but doesnt partcipate in the conversation with you. When you say “I love you, or I miss you, or I’m thinking of you”, he doesnt say anything, or he changes the subject! If you just want to talk he’s unavailable, but when he wants some he gets to be so sweet…do you guys spend time together during the DAY during ordinary stuff..just hanging out? or is it only past a certain hour. Have you been introduced to his parents..like they’re just aware you’re in the house, or do they actually talk to you. Is he becoming familiar with your likes and dislikes, your mood etc..or do you still have to explain all this stuff to him. Girl read all the above so you can know he is just you nothing more

    • Anonymous
      April 3, 2012

      Finally, somebody who makes sense. Everyone going on and on about how she went in too fast like they have never jumped into anything themselves. I became intimate with my bf soon after I met him and we are still together so every situation is different. He takes me everywhere and we are making plans for the future and it’s not only talk. We recently bought a piece of property. What I have learned, is that though it’s not always easy to pick out a sucker, most of then give off hints which we ignore because we are so much in love.

      • aha moment
        April 3, 2012

        you are so right my dear. I’m not saying it’s right but there are people who get together after a few weeks…even days…and last! It’s all about how the persons involved feel about each other. Some people together years and the man still has no intention of being serious with them..he’s just waiting for that special problem. Just look for those cues i mentioned and more…and make sure you’re not in a one sided relationship where you’re in love all by yourself!

  41. genuine
    April 3, 2012

    Sweetheart, what does not break you will only make you stronger SO its time to move on with your life. You are still young, know that God has the right person for you, but its on his time so don’t rush it. Quite frankly, a lot of men would sleep with any female whether in-love or not (even if they have to put a bag on the girl’s head) BUT if that man loves you especially so early in the relationship he will show it. Kissing and hugging are ways of showing affection, this man does not show that;its all about the coochie for him. Spending time at his parents mean nothing because at the end of the day its about you and him. Even if mom and dad loves you but he does not love you….you will never be happy. My challenge for you is to deny him sex and observe what happens. If its not about the sex then maybe you spend your money on him. Babygirl its time to move on. Good luck!!

  42. Eagle
    April 3, 2012

    Allu does act like allu is saints. Either that or allu are much older and have become very conservative. I have been with many, many women and I can tell you there was only one who took more than two weeks before we had sex. I have had more one night stands than I care to remember. And I was not having sex with men. So don’t come here and pretend as if allu would take any longer to have sex with a man.

    Falling in love in 6 weeks is a different matter, but my experience is within 2 weeks, allu does give it up. But then again, maybe I was just very good at getting women to give it up early.

    • LR
      April 3, 2012

      hmmmm….i get where you coming from but dont full yourself much …i know it have some wotless women out there but at the same time when a woman give up the sudden doesnt mean your words were that good or your way bout it..women a more emotional than men and the main reason she may have given it up its because she wanted you all along….smh lol…some of us women wish you men would just grow the hell up!! get a good heart and conscience too..and stop using women

    • Anonymous
      April 3, 2012

      Stupessssssssssssssss…. dat is if u getting ne…

    • Anonymous
      April 3, 2012

      You lying, you lying, you lying
      You putting yourself in trouble.
      You lying … you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!

      (Men who get play don’t feel the need to come and DNO and brag about it … busted) :lol:

  43. Muslim
    April 3, 2012

    These kind of women have no values, no morals, no ethics. The boy’s parents are just as bad to allow a man and woman to sleep at their home unmarried; a girl he picked up 6 weeks ago, what a shame. If they were married the emphasis would be placed in getting their own home. I have never seen an upside down society in my life when it comes to decency and morals.

    Secondly, how much value these young girls put on themselves? what value she is going to have when she reaches her forties?

    Lastly, can’t you see the man is disconnected from you? Is de he wants, what part of this you don’t understand? Why you wasting Bella and people’s time for? I had to speak to you in that language because this is the way some of you understand. If we speak in classical English it would be like a foreign language. Young lady be wise, the ball in in your court.

  44. unkown
    April 3, 2012

    eh beh you a russian

  45. hmmmmm
    April 3, 2012

    i hope its not somebody husband and you saying he have girlfriend them days single woman beating race with married man to take wife position

  46. nalya
    April 3, 2012

    slow down hun.

  47. LR
    April 3, 2012

    Further more…this advice isnt just for ‘lost’..MANY TIMES WE FIND SOME WOMEN GIVING IN TO SEX TOO QUICKLY AND THATS NOT GENERALLY WHAT THE MAN NEEDS BUT ACCEPTS BCUS YEH…HE’S A MAN….it is very easy to know a mans true intentions…i love being in guys company to really hear and know what they think bout women..the short pants/skirts, boob out, etc etc…..lots of guys dont really find this attractive..seating in his room on his bed doesnt necessarily means he want sex…bordieu find something else to do..create great convo..find some other sort of entertainment…what happens after sex when you dont even know anything bout that person…absolutely nothing…a man wont appreciate you if thats all you have to offer him…sex is too easy these days, dare to be different…then some of you say you all looking for a good man and he’s hard to find…no man wants an easy target…..be a modest person..be genuine..learn to share something else with someone they will appreciate more than sex..!!be friends!! i tell you i realise many times we dont take time out to know whats seating infront of us…many times its mister right but if you give him your body first he’ll end of treating you like mr wrong….smh…learn women ….learn…bloddy hell man!! chupesss

    • sakway toneh
      April 3, 2012

      My husband and I had sex on our first date. I guess this must have been electric. so he could not go anywhere else. we are still married over 14 years now and none of us has ever been unfaithful. It all boils down to emotions and true love. the man is simply not interested in her. ( I am not saying that it was right to have sex on your first date, but come on man like one blogger said she must have been hot for him for a very long time now and the opportunity just placed itself and she could not resist)

  48. Ebony
    April 3, 2012

    FYI you only have Mr Right Now.
    Firstly, It’s human nature to appricate what we work for.

    Why are you cleaning his room? His hands break?

    Secondly, cleaning his room, or snooping? It’s not even 3 months and you can’t trust the guy.

    What are you doing with him?

  49. April 3, 2012

    gyal u giving d man sex wat he loving u 4 u cant satisfy other needs dats why.give him a piece of ur mind 4 him 2 pull up his dirty pants.

  50. LR
    April 3, 2012

    Ebeh weh…i had to read this one carefully…carnival was just bout a month ago right? yeh i think so and you already claiming him and say boyfriend…ebeh you need to gear down a lot…tsk tsk…my dear the reason he cant hug or kiss you other than sex is because he has no feelings for you..he doesnt see you as you see him…he’s just having fun..and this isnt love making…its called f…., love making suppose to be passionate and enjoyed by both parties….you have this thing all mixed up…get going and not cuz u meet his parents to get comfy …atleast get to know the dude first be a friend but you already give up the sudden so he not going see beyond…mayb not..carnival you say wi…smh…lol..

  51. zor
    April 3, 2012

    My girl u doh believe in using brakes nuh! Jah know! You beating a race with somebody man? How you fast so? You done sleeping at his parents home! You should have a lil more pride in yourself. I think u give away de nookie too fast. Kanaval was just round de corner. My girl plz don’t rush into things. There’s lots of other opportunities

  52. ann
    April 3, 2012

    yes bella! i feel u! she is taking this thing too fast! stop rushing lady!

  53. Court Officer
    April 3, 2012

    Bella that response was so far of the mark I’m starting to wonder if you’re still in high school.

    My girl you’ve been in a relationship since carnvial which means that you’ve been in a relationship for only about 6 weeks. What do you expect to see in 6 weeks? undying love and devotion? Easiest way to judge what’s going on is to go out with him and hug him in public, If he hugs you back nothings wrong, if he pushes you away that’s a red flag. He may not be the most intimate type or the situations that you guys are in while out together may not call for that (e.g. church, library). As far as the ex is concerned, you found a picture while cleaning his room, it’s not posted up on a wall or hidden in his wallet, men aren’t the tidiest of genders and usually have a lot of old clutter in their rooms, Considering it was his girlfriend until recently and you just entered the picture it’s not impossible that nothings there. I doubt his parents would have you at his home if they know his woman. Much less to have you sleeping there. As for the sex wrap it up eh woman cuz you don’t know the man.

    The only thing I agree with bella on is that this relationship does seem a bit rushed. I mean you “met” this man during carnival and didn’t know him prior… RED, ORANGE, Majenta, and Crimson flags going up on that one we my girl. I don’t believe in calling anyone out of their names but in future my girl DATE FIRST, get to know the man you want to date and don’t bring a 6 week relationship to bella. talk to your friends instead.

    Follow bella and you’ll be ruined since she’s so far out of touch with real life she actually thinks the BS she says actually makes sense, or worse knows it doesnt but says it anyway.

  54. too fast
    April 3, 2012

    Bella i am happy with ur response. i am not trying to “diss” the young lady but papamet, carnival was just a few weeks ago and u are already having sex with the man and claiming that he is ur boyfriend.i hope is boy-friend and not lover u r thinking. My dear, i am not a hypocrite but i think u are moving tooo fast.
    you need to remember there’s lots STD’s, HIV more particularly, condoms break, i am hopping u both did an HIV test before sleeping with him and i hope you all used protection. i am so concerned i feel as if i know u. Becareful my dear.

  55. MOT
    April 3, 2012

    Bella, two thumbs up. Advice on point, especially your first sentence. I was yawning when i read the part where she says she met him during Carnival, i almost swallowed my tongue. But probably I’m just old-fashioned.

  56. DPoint
    April 3, 2012

    maybe its because you don’t bathe properly and brush your teeth. try it and if it doesn’t work then seek further advice.

    • ann
      April 3, 2012

      u people r just bent on insulting other people! shut you TRAP!!

      • daggy
        April 3, 2012

        Ann u must be living on morne Diablotin. you would be surprised that is the case, some women don’t take care of themselves.

    • As if.....
      April 3, 2012

      :lol:

    • LR
      April 3, 2012

      for the two thumbs up…lol..yal arbitrary if she eh bathe properly and her mouth not clean…..wonder what miss kitty saying…he would be well salop tooo…yal disgusting smh

    • muta
      April 3, 2012

      true she should try better hygene maybe that could help

      • DANZIGER
        April 4, 2012

        Who say she is not clean. I tell u this one of these days yr turn will reach and I hope u will be able to stand cuz everything for u all is a joke. WE are in 2012 come on be wise the man is in love with some one eles simple.

    • May
      April 3, 2012

      It could be the other way round too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!He doesnt want her to discover his secret.

    • Justice and Truth
      April 4, 2012

      @ DPoint

      Disgusting! Your mind is in the gutter. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

  57. ......
    April 3, 2012

    and trust me a man who is really inlove with u wont care about sex and waiting..it’s a fact, he will be patient as long as ur ready!!

    • annic
      April 3, 2012

      what u talking bout nuh! is this pertaing to the topic!

    • Anonymous
      April 4, 2012

      Not if he’s Dominican!

    • DANZIGER
      April 4, 2012

      AMEN @ …… I think you got the point.

  58. ......
    April 3, 2012

    wow…u met during carnival and u r already having sex..why dont u all get to know folks better dan rushing into sex..if u had taken ur time out to get to know him deeper, u wouldnt have faced this problem now..sex is not always the answer to love..smh

  59. ME
    April 3, 2012

    He don’t kiss or hug you unless you are making love?? That’s something to make you wonder. Doesn’t he have any emotions? Doesn’t he show any at all?
    Girlfriend, as Bella said, u rushed in too quickly.
    A relationship is supposed to start as friendship and build up from there. Carnival was less than two months ago, and that’s not sufficient time to have a serious relationship. The fact they you’ve been introduced to his parents may mean alot – because sometimes it can be confusing too.

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