My boyfriend got another girl pregnant and wants to keep our relationship secret

I have been in and out of relationships for a while then at the age of 19 made my decision of settle down.

I fell in love with a wealthy young but yet still hard working young man. For two years I was living out of state then I made the bold decision of moving back home to be with him. I left behind my work and everything I already had to start all fresh again.

We were the prefect couple, well at least that is what I thought, until he cheated on me. Well he said it was a one night thing.

The young lady is pregnant but he has not come to me to say anything. There are rumors on the streets. I have given him five months to come to me and he still hasn’t mention anything to me.

I have moved out of his home and on my own but the other night he came to my home and told me he knows he hurt me and he can not forgive him self and “it’s nothing that we were going through that caused him to go out and cheat.” He said he is sorry and he couldn’t have faced me and tell me the truth when I asked him.

Now the young lady has moved in with him but he still provide my every need but what stresses me is the fact that he don’t want people to know we still dealing.

What should I do?

Need Answers

Dear Need Answers,

There is a very simple solution to this. Tell the guy to get out of your face. You made too many sacrifices for this guy and in the end he cheated on you. Then he has the audacity to come to you place and tell you that he is sorry?

How can he really be sorry when the other young lady has moved in with him? Additionally he want to keep the ‘relationship’ between you two a secret?

Don’t let yourself be used in that way. Tell him that you don’t need anything from him and move on with your life. There are many other young men out there and you should think of moving on.

It always baffles me why SOME women allow themselves to be treated in that way!

Bella

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59 Comments

  1. Relebohile
    August 6, 2018

    Hi everyone I need advise, so like I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 5years and we broke up because he cheated on me, we broke up for four months then got fixed things and got back together again, I got the shock of my life when I found out that he had impregnated another woman, he says he only slept with her during the time when we broke up and that he wants to be with me and me alone, I’m so angry with him yet I love him with all my heart ,he has also proven to me that he loves me and wants to be with him, thing is I’ve always imagined myself being the mother of his first child now someone else is, I’m really hurt I don’t know what to do, weather I should leave him or stay In the relationship with him

  2. chifundo
    July 14, 2017

    wat about if they had one nyt stand en after a month da gal relationship ended then come to man who had one nyt stand with saying DAT she is pregnant …threatening the man DAT if he wul nat accept him she wul mek sure luz he job. rumours started circulating .. his galfrend asking him ..denying up until one day he reveals da truth en saying DAT he can’t settle with her coz he dont love her.
    help wat step can one tek from there

  3. June 19, 2017

    Gud day,plz i need ur advise,i hv been dating a guy for over 6 yrs now planning to get married soon, last yr i almost got married to someone else wich first introduction has been done, but he pleaded dat i shudnt leave him wit his friends cos of d Luv i hv for him nd havnt gone a lng way wit him, i broke up wit d man nd decided to wait for him. Dis mnth i got the shock of my life date has impregnated someone else nd d pregnancy is 5mnths gone already,he pleaded wit me to forgive him dat he doesn’t knw hw to tell/face me all dis while dat he only needed his baby frm d girl dat is me he wnts to get married to. Now all dis tins his hiding it frm his parents.
    Dis not d first or second tym his cheating on me nd i will catch him but dis now involves pregnancy.
    I also approached d girl in question nd she told me d guy doesn’t wnt get to cum nd stay wit him wit d pregnancy, dat d guy told her he can’t marry her,dis girl knws we are dating nd still went to date him,

  4. UPdate
    January 12, 2012

    :-D That post still alive? Well ex girl, the young man just bought an SUV for the child mother, the one you said was a one night stand. Do you still wanna be in a secret relationship?

  5. 2252855
    December 28, 2011

    boo-boo tats frens with benifts…leave him straight up

  6. Justice and Truth
    August 26, 2011

    I had meant to respond to this article but I suppose that I got busy. Furthermore, DNO has so many articles that it is difficult to keep up. Good work anyway DNO for keeping us abreast with all the good news. It is appreciated :lol:
    Young lady, you did not say if the man had asked you to come to live with him. He probably did since you gave up everything for him. In the meantime it may be that he was playing the field. You should not expect that a man living alone will not have a girlfriend or two.
    You were hurt and you moved out instead of facing him about this issue while you were residing with him.
    The pregnant girlfriend moved in. It seems to me that this man wants a crutch to lean on without permanent responsibilities. Why does he not get serious and marry?
    You were supposedly Number one in his life and now he wants you to be Number two? You should find this humiliating. Do not settle for this.
    As Bella said, tell him off and tell him to get out of your face. He does not deserve you. He is not a serious man. Have nothing more to do with you. In time you will find another man and when you do, ensure that he is serious-minded about a relationship and that he will eventually marry you. I would not advise you to cohabitate anymore with a man. Men who expect women to cohabitate are not serious-minded about marriage and have no respect for the women. God frowns upon such a relationship; bad enough fornication takes place in those relationships.
    Some people in society really need to become godly and conform themselves to the Will of God. There is no happiness and permanently so outside of God and ignoring God.
    When I had seen this article a few weeks ago, I thought of the following which I clipped out from an ethnic newspaper. I had to look for it:

    Words of Wisdom – “Thin love ain’t love at all.”
    “Love will open your mind like the chaste leaf in the morning when the sun first touches it.”
    Keep this in mind.
    To love and be loved is the greatest thing on earth.
    May God bless you and assist you to find the perfect man, if not almost the perfect man, knowing that there is no perfect person and no perfect relationship. Take your time, he is somewhere around. Keep up the spirit and keep smiling. :)

  7. .....
    August 24, 2011

    pure stupidness!

    • Justice and Truth
      August 27, 2011

      Where is your sense? Are you one of those who ill-treat women? Obviously you have nothing good to say. I feel sorry for you.
      Life is worth living in happiness and peace. Strive for it.

  8. mvp
    August 20, 2011

    if d man wanted u he would not allow that young lady to move in with him nd u he wouldn t want to keep ur relationship a secret think my girl

  9. August 15, 2011

    U REMIND ME OF MYSELF WEN I WAS UR AGE..AVE BEEN THRU THAT SAME SHIT…GIRL IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO TAKE MYSELF OUTTA DAT; BUT I DID CUZ I EVENTUALLY REALIZE I WAS A PIECE OF WASHCLOTH THAT WAS LEFT TO TAKE DUST AND WAS REMOVED ONLY WEN CLEANING NEEDED TO BE DONE..DON’T MATTER WAT ADVICE IS GIVEN TO U U WILL STILL STAY IN THAT SITUATION I CAN TELL U THAT MUCH..ONE DAY THERE IS GOING TO COME A TIME WEN U WILL JUST WALK OUT..IT MIGHT BE SOONER THAN U THINK..BUT DEM MAN IS DOG..IS WEN DEY KNOW U LOVE DEM THEY DOES DO DEM TINGS…WAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND…BE STRONG MY GIRL…

  10. Nudibranch
    August 15, 2011

    love may be blind, but you are stupid. LEAVE.

  11. hmmmmmm
    August 13, 2011

    My girl run!! run!! run!! for your life and never look back…baby mamma drama is a never ending drama, stress and heartbreak….she will always be the first priority…RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

    • Mohamed George Bush
      August 18, 2011

      im in the same position… i’ve already built a family foundation so i need some advice

  12. PAT
    August 12, 2011

    THIS GUY WAS NEVER IN LOVE WITH YOU. IF
    IT WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND HE SHOULD USE A CONDOM. SEE WHAT HE DID AGAIN YOU MOVED OUT
    HIS BABY MAMA MOVED IN. THIS GUY WANTS TO BAKE HIS CAKE AND EAT IT. I KNOWS IT HURTS
    TAKE TIME TO HEAL AND MOVE ON WITH YOU LIFE

  13. bomboklat
    August 12, 2011

    WHAT?? WELL IF SHE PLUG ANOTHER TINGG plug him!! BUT AE AE…

  14. Eve
    August 12, 2011

    My dear young lady I emphasize with your situation and I’m very sorry that you had to go through such pain at this early age. At 19 you are still very young practically a baby and learning about the rigours of love and life in a very hard way. Calling you every nasty and insulting name in the book will do nothing to ease your heartache. Some of us can be very heartless, cruel to sensitive matters. Anyway there are a lot of married men out there making babies with the outside women so you are not alone. Your story is heartbreaking but I can assure you, you are not the first neither will you be the last. Hold your head up high, lesson learnt. I hope you never have to go through that again.

  15. shy
    August 12, 2011

    Girl please ,you are just the sidekick now, wake up and smell the coffee.

  16. Anonymous
    August 12, 2011

    well young lady you tried leave everythink
    for him do yourself a big favour leave that guy go back to where you were working and have everthing then you wount see him to think of him.Go back out of da to have him out of your mind.

    by the way i would do better why dont you give me a call let me treat you like a lady
    not because you are hurt i am saying so is because you are a real lady to leave everything and start over with him that take a real lady and that guy is real blind to get a good lady and loose her
    give me a call.

    • Anonymous
      August 23, 2011

      WHER’S THE DIGITS FOR HER TO CALL?..HUH?…YOU’RE A “JOKA”!
      GIRL…DON’T LISTEN TO THIS ONE… IT WANTS TO BE THE REBOUND GUY– I HAVE NO MORE TO SAY…

  17. angel
    August 12, 2011

    seriously u ask that question its plain,its simple..leave da boy he dont love u ENOUGH!!

  18. magwe ca!
    August 12, 2011

    lol how tebbeh can this girl be? you needed Bella for advice on something to which the solution is so simple even a cavewoman could do it lol… makes for good entertainment though 8)

  19. Quen J
    August 12, 2011

    child plz do u really need somebody to put 1 an 1 together to tell u the ans is 2…..open ur eyes ur being used my fren

  20. small kal
    August 12, 2011

    hhhmmmm……sooooooooooo……ummmmmmm….having disclosed what you said whats your question???hmmmmm…….intresting…….hmmmmmmm…..its amazing how some people think…..

  21. kiane
    August 12, 2011

    young lady i im in a relationship im also a cheater and i mean a serial cheater take it from me u went to far with this by even asking advise on dno this guy looks at u as disposal trash!get out of this now and i mean now in my case my girl is being treated sweet just that i have not been caught in 4 years thats y i call my self are serial cheater(not 1 not 2 so i knw wat men a capable of although i consider u girls dangerous)i feel your pain wen ever he calls u let him knw u are no longer his disposal trash

  22. Anonymous
    August 11, 2011

    young lady, I do feel your pain!!!!!but there is another side to this story….a man can’t be with one woman..have a one night with another woman gets pregnant, you move out she moves in? something don’t add up…our you are in denial! however you are the one in the situation, and you have solved the problem by moving out…give the heart some time to heal…life must go on…
    don’t confuse his feeling for you for LOVE it’s not….

    C’est lavie..

  23. baby
    August 11, 2011

    leave ur will find better love is in d eye of d beholder if he loved u he wouldnt havee cheated,,,move on

  24. First Domestic gyal
    August 11, 2011

    To i know you!!!!!!! believe it or not i agree with you!!! My dear i have not been in your shoes but trust me MEN will be MEN one night stand 2 nights every night he is still going to be a man… u deserve better so stand up look ahead and face the facts!!!

  25. loco
    August 11, 2011

    if it stressin u come give me a piece and i will let ppl kn that u and i dealin…. girl u just doh good as we say in da…

    • Mohamed George Bush
      August 18, 2011

      lol yes i…. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: let me mow your lawn and let you have fun and let me feed your cat make it get real fat :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  26. Anonymous
    August 11, 2011

    U were always the side woman; now that the other woman move in with him it is confirmed. U said u left your job and everything to move in with him, did he ask U to do that. Move on with ur life, your ex made his decision.

    • Anonymous
      October 21, 2011

      hey she said he is still providin her everyday needs,,,, ha continue the shit but get ur own bf lol

  27. ineedfree
    August 11, 2011

    SISTER;

    OPEN YOUR EYES. A LOT OF SISTERS MAKE THAT SAME MISTAKE BY SAYING THEY HAVE A BOYFRIEND UNTIL THEY FIND OUT MOST OF THE BROTHERS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT AN HONOURABLE THING IT IS TO RESPECT THEMSELVES AND OTHER SISTERS.

    TO MANY OF THEM, BEING A MAN IS LIKE BEING A DOG-MAN INSTEAD OF A GOD-MAN.

    THEY DISHONOUR THEIR MOTHERS, CHILDREN AND THEMSELVES.

    THEY ARE SOMETIMES SO FOOLISH, THEY EVEN GLORIFY CHEATING; AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE THERE ARE SISTERS WHO STAND IN THE WAY OF SISTERS. IT SOMETIMES LOOKS LIKE A WAR AND THAT’S UGLY.
    ANOTHER UGLY ASPECT IS WHEN SISTERS CHEAT. THERE CAN BE NO EXCUSE FOR THAT.

    WE BROTHERS AND SISTERS MUST ALWAYS APPLY THE GOLDEN: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU’D LIKE OTHERS DO UNTO YOU.
    IF YOU FEEL FOR HIM, WISH HIM WELL AND WORK ON GETTING OVER THIS HURDLE IN YOUR LIFE.

    IT WILL PASS…TRUST YOUR YOUTH.

    KEEP IN PRAYER AND ASK THE ALMIGHTY FOR STRENGTH, COURAGE AND WISDOM FOR FURTHER BAD CALLS. THERE ARE MANY OUT THERE.

    DONT BE BITTER, JUST LEARN.THAT IS WHAT LIFE HAS BECOME UNTIL WE ALL START SERVING THE ALMIGHTY WITH ALL OUR HEARTS.

    THE SISTER WHO IS CARRYING HIS CHILD MUST BE SUPPORTED.

    DONT WAIT FOR HIM. ENCOURAGE HIM TO STAY WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD.

    I KNOW YOU WILL BE BLESSED FOR THAT. USE YOUR PAIN AS A REASON TO GET CLOSER TO THE ALMIGHTY. WE BLESS YOUR HEART

  28. just saying
    August 11, 2011

    lmao.. my girl you go from woman of the house to the side ting.. first time i hear that one.. lmao.. u sort man my girl..

    your man leave go and preggers another woman and is you that undercover??? her man you had man all the time?? i sure mr tell the woman you’re his sister… eh eh

    • unknown
      August 11, 2011

      hahaha thats a real good one u made my night….but serious u tlkin sence dere eh i got to be de other woman man 4 real

    • Mohamed George Bush
      August 18, 2011

      woye!!!!!! serious my yout

    • angel
      November 4, 2011

      cannot understand that!your man get another woman pregnant and you that hiding?papa God.Madame Outsider/preggers that should be hiding!lol

  29. Been there done that
    August 11, 2011

    Girl the man just want to boast to his friends that he can use you and leave you whenever he wants. Most likely he is doing that because his woman is pregnant and maybe her hormones are raging and she is moody. When the baby comes she may be busy and not have much time for him for the first few months. He wants to keep close to you as a step knee so he can have all the sex he wants while his girlfriend/child mother heals. He will give you money and stuff to keep getting sex from you. When the baby gets old enough and the girlfriend gets her groove back he will leave you high and dry AGAIN!

  30. Keeping it real
    August 11, 2011

    Which man in his right mind would want to settle down with a promiscuous woman? After you run lavie sodom you want to settle down? Who do you think you are fooling? How can you seek advice when you are in a fornicating relationship? You’re not married, this relationship is illegitimate. Fear God and render not your vain deeds.

    The man will keep the child mother, maybe she has a cleaner womb. You are used goods, thus he will want to use these dull tools from time to time, you are just packed away, he uses some finances so that he doesn’t discard the tools right away, once you become a liability he will stop spending his money.

    The fornicatress and the disbeliever will always be in ruin until repentance. No one will avail them on the day of judgement because they rejected faith.

    • truth
      August 11, 2011

      WELL SAID! Why keep blaming men for woman nastiness!? If you were a salup you will always be a salup, in the open or undercover. What these women/girls don’t realize is that real men don’t want to settle down with used goods. So all these hoes that are selling their pounani n sharing it with every cat n dog while cheating on their boyfriend or husband. FYI (de man know you is a salup he just don’t care, he know wha you good for). Just know real men don’t want used goods in the long-term. Worst thing is when you with your woman at a party or a jam and 10 man at that party already Ting her (embawasee ). All the nasty u do when n u was being a salup everyman already know you nasty undercover or in the open (men talk to each other and the news spread fast). That guy put you just where you need to be.

    • Loving Life
      August 11, 2011

      You sound soooo stupid! Try to give good advice.

    • B.A.B
      August 15, 2011

      is pple like u all i hate this girl has been thru alot of relationships it doesn’t mean that she has been running man…….ur ass hole and u say u keeping it real huh u r a fake our past is wat makes us, someone has a bad past and that person decided to settle we should atleast commend this young lady for moving from her bad past to a better future

  31. Sunshine
    August 11, 2011

    Girlfriend,

    There is no easy way to say it. MEN ARE STRAIGHT DOGS. THEY WANT TO EAT THEIR CAKE AND STILL HAVE IT IN THE CAKE STAND CHERISHING IT.

    LEAVE HIM, HE IS A DAM LIAR, LIKE ALL THE REST OF THEM.

    IT HURTS.

    • truth
      August 11, 2011

      WELL SAID! Why keep blaming men for woman nastiness!? If you were a salup you will always be a salup, in the open or undercover. What these women/girls don’t realize is that real men don’t want to settle down with used goods. So all these hoes that are selling their pounani n sharing it with every cat n dog while cheating on their boyfriend or husband. FYI (de man know you is a salup he just don’t care, he know wha you good for). Just know real men don’t want used goods in the long-term. Worst thing is when you with your woman at a party or a jam and 10 man at that party already Ting her (embawasee ). All the nasty u do when u was being a salup everyman already know you nasty undercover or in the open (men talk to each other and the news spread fast). That guy put you just where you need to be.

    • Anonymous
      August 13, 2011

      @ SUNSHINE I SUSPECT U GET A BAD GROS PWELL N ITS A LONG TIME N UP TILL NOW U CANT CURE…I RECKON U GO CHECK DE CALYPSONIAN FROM SALISBURY DAT SANG GROS PWELL ON HIM….LOL

  32. pusina
    August 11, 2011

    Bellls on a side note first time i concur with your response. You finally start to listen to me puss. Admin got the warning with my lawyer papers and editing my comments.. WHossssssss.. Good improvement Bellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrr

  33. pusina
    August 11, 2011

    Whosssssss puss you better give the man the door. The tolie is not worth it with all that baby mama stress you will encounter. Tell him Massssh puss..

  34. misses
    August 11, 2011

    girl wat are u waiting for. to get pregnant and him telling you he doe want you cause he in love with his baby mother.he keeps you a secret cause you mean nutting to him jus a ting on d side

  35. PAPA
    August 11, 2011

    :?:

  36. Tomian
    August 11, 2011

    Girlfriend there is only one thing to do; kick him to the curb. You still have the guts to say that he doesn’t want people to know that you guys are dealing. Are u that stupid that you can’t see what is happeninig to you. The man other woman moved in with him what more do u want to know or see. Girl get out of this before you catch something you don’t want.Idiot

  37. I know you!
    August 11, 2011

    Girl stop lying, you cannot get over the man so long? The guy does not interfere with you he is busy with his child mother leave those people alone. Are you waiting for the wedding which is coming up soon to wake up? What will you do when the bells start ringing for you to try to kill yourself? Wake up child a man who cheats is not worth your life.

  38. Bull Crap
    August 11, 2011

    one thing i learn. the people that quick to give advice are the ones that have more crap going on in their life. Its not my or anyone place to tell u live or stay. what i will say is this. you determine what kind of life you want for yourself and you act and work accordingly.

    • been there
      August 11, 2011

      most times they give advice cause the’ve been there and know wat it is like

      • Eve
        August 12, 2011

        Yeah some of these comments sound really heartless :mrgreen:

    • Anonymous
      August 13, 2011

      @ BULL CRAP. THIS IS A STAND UP ADVICE.WELL SAID

  39. SEXYBITCH
    August 11, 2011

    GIRL FIRST OF ALL, WHEN MEN CHEAT IS BECAUSE THEY WANT TOO. IT’S NEVER ABOUT A MISTAKE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, CHEATING IS PRE-MEDITATED. SAYING AM SORRY OR IT WAS A MISTAKE OR I WAS DRUNK IS JUST THE EXCUSE.

    SECONDLY A ONE NIGHT STAND WITHOUT A HELMET…HUM..INTERESTING OR DID HE SAY THE CONDOM BURST.

    NOW, ARE U REALLY NAIVE OR JUST PLAIN DUMB? THE OTHER WOMAN MOVED IN WITH THE GUY, PLUS HE WANTS TO KEEP YR AFFAIR A SECRET………WAKE UP GIRL. WHAT’S YR BIGGEST FEAR, LOOSING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE OR WHAT HE OFFERS YOU?(MATERIAL THINGS)

    • jacky
      August 11, 2011

      it’s tym to move on cuz trust me it ain’t gonna get betta it gets worse. there’s no way he gonna let a woman he had a 1 night stand wit move into his cuz she claim she is preg for him. how he so sure it is his. theres been more to it he’s not telling you

  40. ANTIGUAN
    August 11, 2011

    Straight up, leave him..thats it!!

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