Sarah Lynn Augustine has said she had no intention of killing her two children on September 16, 2010.
In a series of tell-all videos released on Youtube Augustine has been giving the background of what she said led to the incident.
In one of the videos she gave an account of what she said occurred the night the children met their tragic end. “That night I had no intentions of killing my kids,” she said. “None, none at all.”
However she said during the week the incident occurred she wanted to kill herself. “That entire week however, I had the intention of killing myself. I just didn’t know how or when. That week was the hardest week of my life,” she revealed
According to Augustine the night the incident occurred she thought of going to drown herself. But on the way to doing this she ran into the son of a neighbour who asked her what she was doing on the streets since it was three in the morning.
“I didn’t want to talk, so I just walked back home,” she said. “I walked into the kitchen and I wanted to kill myself.”
She said when she went back to the house everyone was sleeping. “I wanted to kill myself,” she repeated. “And that is all I wanted to do at that time. And, I am like, I cannot do this in the kitchen, they going to have to clean up the place … the kids are going to see blood all over the place.”
Around that time one of the kids woke up and asked her what she was doing. “I told her the truth of what I was going to do to myself,” Augustine stated. But she said the child never bothered because she always spoke to her and the child had no concept of death.
According to Augustine the child went back to sleep and she was looking at both of them, deep in thought. “I was looking at these kids and thinking what was going to happen to them ….will they be able to go to the other side of the family…I left them in the same position and I honestly was gong crazy thinking about it….my thoughts were racing, it was like I was hearing voices…they were all opinions of anybody who had said anything racing through my mind,” she noted.
Then she said the smaller child woke up and and started crying. “I don’t know what it was but she was just crying,” Augustine said with tears rolling down her cheeks. But she said she remembered being told not to feed the baby while crying since it might give them ‘bad milk.’
“So I was going back to the kitchen to make her a bottle and I just blacked out,” she stated. “I blacked out for real. And when I woke up I was in the worst nightmare of my life. It was in the same nightmare all of you guys woke up too. My kids were dead. I could not understand it… why because my house was locked, there was nobody else there. I looked at myself and I did not have any blood on myself, like none. None, none. All there is was knives and kids and hell.”
Augustine pointed out that she was feeling hazy, so she went downstairs and told her brother what happened but he did not believe her. “I told him straight up I think I killed my kids. I didn’t lie, I never lied about it….I don’t lie when it comes to my kids on that issue,” she noted. “He looked at me and said its three o’clock in the morning, its not the time to be making that type of joke.”
Augustine noted that since no one believed her, she went back upstairs and started cutting at her wrists. “I just started cutting. I cut away, I cut tendons, I cut everything,” she said.
Sarah Lyn Augustine was charged for the murder of her two children, five-year-old Rachael Vigilant and two-month-old Sophia Vigilant. The incident, which shocked the nation, took place at their Mahaut home in the wee hours of September 16, 2010. Augustine is alleged to have stabbed Rachel 45 times and Sophia 31 times.
The case was discontinued earlier this year by the Director of Public Prosecutions and she was released to Canadian authorities for treatment.