Dads Hurt TooA father’s heart hurts when things go wrong at home. Every father wants the best for his family. Most fathers suffer in silence though, because they think that to be a man one must be macho. There are times when being macho is useful and there are other times when being macho is simply unproductive and only contribute to problems of faulty communication, problems with spouse and children. It also creates health problems for most men.

Men do not seem to know that when they keep up the macho attitude or the attitude of control all the time, they are actually holding the body and emotions in a constant state of fight or flight response mode. This mode is one of domination and demands a constant flow of testosterones –  “The cock in the yard attitude.” After a few years of keeping up this attitude, it creates extreme wear and tear on the entire system responsible for this attitude, the reproductive and endocrine systems.

We wonder why some men of today have lost the sparkle in their eyes, the spring in their steps, the desire to have a family or to plan for the future.

Men work all day, when they come home instead of resting, they sit in front of the TV or a video game, or take a drink of alcohol.  No, instead, you should have a little rest. Allow the body to relax and allow the mind to settle down.  If you know how to meditate, do some meditation to rejuvenate yourself, replenish your energy and get rid of the stresses of the day. Do some yoga or tai chi, do sports etc.

More energy means clear-headedness, calmness, profoundness of the thinking process. One enjoys life more. This is how we see ahead of us. If a man can’t see ahead of him, then, he can’t advance or lead his family in the right way.  A very wise person said, “A nation without a vision perishes.” Of course, the vision of the nation is the vision or goals of the people in the nation. Its men, women and children.

If before work a man smokes weed or other drug, after work he smokes again, he keeps dulling his mind more and more. It would be very difficult to have a vision of the future with a dull mind.  Without a vision of the future, he loses his place in the society as a leader of the household, because he has cut himself off from his own source of energy, intelligence and creativity. It is possible to sink even lower to the point of not being able to groom oneself properly or at all, therefore the inability to maintain or support a home, or even to live in a home. That is when one takes to the streets as if one is surrounded by a turbulent darkness, a cloud of uncertainty and inability to do even the smallest tasks in a responsible way.

Now we know how one gets there, let us see how to get someone out of there.  Life can be explained by light and darkness, life supporting influences or life-damaging influences. One has to be balanced according to one’s body-type .  When an individual is balanced, he can easily perform right action, it is almost automatic.  When he is imbalanced, it is very difficult to do right, trouble finds him wherever he is.  Right actions bring light into our lives whereas wrong action, foul language, negative thoughts and intentions automatically brings more of themselves, darkness and fear. The key is to know how to return to balance and unfold your full potential in the process.

When you wake in the morning, whatever you do after depends on the amount of energy you have access to.  If you have enough energy, you will groom yourself and go about your daily activities, and without much delay or effort, accomplish all your goal for the day.  Whereas if you did not sleep well at night, you will feel groggy, cannot focus, memory will be affected and you turn around on yourself but not accomplishing anything much

You must know that you have your own source of energy and intelligence within you. This source can be best tapped in silence.  If you can be quiet, silent, still for a moment each day, twice daily for about 15-20 minutes each time, your fountain of energy will pour out into your active life. That is why you were asked to ‘be still’. It is like a reset button. Whenever you are still, the body gains deep rest and stresses are released. The mind gains a new freedom and this is repeated every morning and every evening.

We want quiet time in the schools so that children will not grow into adulthood with any debilitation, mental, physical, or emotional. That quiet time is good for dads too, and in fact for all men.

Most of the illnesses that men go through, especially the so called incurable ones have stress as their basis.  You may think of attacking the symptoms, but while you do that, think of releasing the stress that caused it in the first place. Release the stresses that sustain the attitudes and moods that cause the accumulation of stress hormones which end up as toxins. The accumulation of toxins brings on illness in the body.

Lenny’s story:

“I married young to my childhood sweetheart. We were about the same age and we have 4 children. I enjoyed helping with the daily chores.  We started having trouble when I got tired of being told that I did something wrong or that I did not finish something. Instead of listening and correcting the mistake, I would boil inside. I did not think of right or wrong, I just processed being told I was wrong especially in front of my friends. My friends would laugh at me and joke about it. They would say, ‘Now who’s wearing the pant” and things like that. This affected me deeply, deeper than I thought. We had other issues too. I think that if we had someone to whom we could talk, someone who could guide us in the right way, help us to see where our mistakes were and how to correct them, our relationship would have survived and improved.

I started smoking weed at an early age. It was portrayed as the manly thing to do. No one would tell on you. After a few years, I felt that I had difficulties focusing at school and my memory was severely affected. I knew that I had the potential to accomplish a lot, but I just did not have the energy or the clarity of mind.  It felt like a physical barrier in my brain.  At work, I could hardly focus. I forgot easily and getting things done was a constant struggle.

One morning, I woke up to a barrage of thoughts. It did not change for about 3 months, all kinds of negative thoughts including suicidal ones without any real reason. The strongest thoughts were thoughts of hitting my wife. I had to exercise great self-control in order not to let this happen because they were so strong sometimes, that I felt that they could take over my mind and make me do things I did not want to do.  During these 3 months, I lost all patience, now I was always on edge, and I noticed that once I got angry, I could not calm down easily. I started having severe lower back pain. It was thought that my kidneys were acting up, but later I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

I was devastated but did not tell my wife because she would tell everyone especially my friends who would taunt me to death when they drank. Things got so bad at home that I ended up leaving the home and moving in with a friend who was younger than my wife, but to whom I could talk about anything. I missed my wife and children terribly but did not dare to return home.

One night, I spoke to a friend about the cancer problem and he told me about stress. I knew exactly what he was talking about because I experienced it live. Next day, he accompanied me to the Transcendental Meditation Centre  in Goodwill, and I learned to meditate.  I wished I had done this before, because the back pain has subsided, the anger is gone, I can think clearly, no more intrusive thoughts, and I can focus on any task for any length of time. The Centre sells a Comfort balm that relieves anyone with pain, swelling, stiffness and even itches like eczema or psoriasis.  It really worked for me.

At the TM Centre, there is a Health Spa and I had the opportunity to do the Ayurvedic Treatment which includes an Ayurvedic massage, a sublime oil treatment on the head, a steam heat treatment and knowledge about one’s body type and how to keep that unique body type healthy. With the help of Dr. John, I have since started visiting my children again, helping them with their school work,  and my wife and I are very good friends again.

I took a lot of time to see clearly what was happening to me and so I let my body deteriorate, my mind too, but God has a plan for me. Someone told me about stress and gave me another opportunity at life by taking me somewhere where I  could get  help to balance myself.

Thanks  Dr. John for helping me get my life back.

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  1. September 1, 2015

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    at Lakeside. Doing so will spawn five corpses throughout the little dungeon. And there was some supernatural stuff happening in that room.

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  4. Marthi
    June 27, 2013

    Dr. John, I would like to know. When two people meet, they are lovie dovie, and no sooner they get used to each other, they sometimes start getting a bit rude and lacking respect for each other, especially the men. Why is this?

    My friend told me that you taught her to meditate even if her church told her not to. Now, I saw that things were so good with her and her husband that I had to ask her what happened, if he was pretending or what.

    I was surprised at what she said. I am sharing my friend’s experience, because I know that she will not do it herself. I have her permission to do so without of course mentioning her name.

    The thing is, her husband used to beat her, and I was trying to get her to leave him. However; whenever I see them now, things seem to be ok. I do not feel that tension between them anymore and she tells me she is so happy. He looks happy too.

    She has so much confidence in you Dr. John that I must come and see you myself. My situation is not that bad, but I need to strengthen myself as a person. I need to have more self-confidence and to trust God more. I am a Christian and I do pray, but I must say that it is especially when I start to pray that some really nasty, negative thoughts come to my mind. I chase them away but they insist and sometimes, I feel helpless and far from God.

    My friend had the same problem and now she says she feels so quiet inside. I also need to discuss with you the claims of my church that there is something very bad in Meditation. I have seen many examples of the good effects of meditation. So far, I have not seen anything bad. My friends are starting to meditate and I see the change in them. The young guys who had no sense of direction, for example, they come to see you and next thing you know, they begin to be more responsible.
    Maybe my Church should have a talk with you, because God knows, the people in my church need your help.
    I was very happy when she told me that she has no problems praying now. Her mind is clear, calm and happy. Thank you very much for my friend’s happiness. God bless you.

    • Dr. Lucia John
      July 2, 2013

      To Marthi. Stress is what comes between these two people. Without stress, there is happiness, love, tolerance, compassion. When stress comes in, there is all sorts of discord and conflict, leading to abuse of all kinds. This is because stress causes the nervous system and brain to malfunction.

      Stress may be created due to toxins in the body. It is also created by undue fatigue, and also by the taking of certain wrong substances into the body, such as alcohol, drugs etc smoking, etc. it is also cause by eating the wrong foods or junk foods, or by eating even the right foods at the wrong times, such as just before going to bed at night. This food is not digested, but stored as toxins, and we may start putting on weight. It is also caused by drinking or ingesting foods or fluids with the wrong temperature, piping hot or icy cold. Stress is also caused by not enough activity or exercise for the blood to circulate properly, or extreme activity that constantly causes exhaustion.

      You see, the human being must learn to live in moderation. He or she must learn to have balance in his or her life. Anything out of the region of balance will cause stress. Accumulated stress will cause discomforts of one kind or the other be it mental, emotional, physical or spiritual.

      Stress is undue activity, either too much; causing restlessness and hyperactivity, or too little; causing dullness and listlessness; little or no interest in life.

      How to balance things again is going back to balance. The greatest balance we can experience is silence, stillness, inner peace, inner calm. It does not matter how we call it. Just experience silence in the mind while at the same time the body experiences deep rest. For that moment, the body becomes alkaline and the stresses are eliminated gradually.

      A stresses body is acidic, toxic and stressed, lacking energy, tired all the time, but hyper and restless. The person will experience strange aches and pains.

      A calm body will be alkaline and not stressed, calm but energetic, functioning well in every way, or better and better.

      A stressed mind will be acidic, aggressive, criticizing everything and everyone, blaming everyone for everything, not taking responsibility for one’s actions, searching for the faulting in everyone, gossiping. Negative thoughts, foul language, and wrong actions and intentions will be very common in the life of this person.

      A non-stressed mind is calm, clear, collected, able to focus, creative, have good memory, the person will be loving, tolerant, compassionate to others. This is what it takes to create an ideal society where there is little or no crime.

      It is the persons in the society who, through their every thought, words, actions and intentions, create bit by bit the kind of unwanted behavior we see in society today. We may blame and punish the people who express these behaviours, but it is the people as a collective whole who create the society and all there is in it, good or bad. We are our brothers’ keepers whether we want it to not. This is why, when someone does something wrong, we may punish the person, but we are responsible for rehabilitating them. Teach them the right way too.

      The Transcendental Meditation Technique is a simple natural technique which gives deep rest to the body.the mind experiences silence, stillness, and all the good benefits come from there. One becomes more tolerant, calm, energetic, creative, productive and happy. health improves and the society enjoys better health on all levels when at least one percent of the population meditates and eliminates their own stresses, lowering the effect of the accumulated collective stress. All other benefits comes from there.

      At my Health Spa, I also help people to release the stress with Ayurvedic Massages, Shirodara; oil treatments to the head. This is very soothing to the brain and mind. Swedana is a steam/heat treatment which helps with circulation. The detox program removes toxins from the body, the courses teach each individual how to care for his or her own body type.
      I also teach Ayurvedic Cooking, how to cook for your unique body type and how to cook for your family where there are several body types. Weight-loss is one of the courses we offer. You lose the weight by balancing body and mind. You start feeling and looking young again. having the energy and creativity you had many years again. It is worth the experience or a try. You will not be disappointed.

  5. June 23, 2013
  6. June 23, 2013

    Together as a people, we need to approach seriously the problems of the young men in Dominica. Their problems are similar to that of other countries and the world, but we must begin at home.

    Part of Lenny’s problem was anger, low self esteem, he was taunted by his friends and this only served to make it worse, his wife had her own problems when she would complain to his friends instead of talking to him in private. The worse of it was the fact that he started smoking weed at an early age.

    Smoking weed affects the Pre Frontal Cortex negatively; that part of the brain that is right behind the forehead. This part of the brain is responsible for progress, higher thinking intuition, planning, moral reasoning, decision making, self esteem, learning and so much more…

    Weed inhibits the capacity of the lungs to function in an optimum way so it can cooperate with the heart in circulating much needed oxygen throughout the body through the blood. Every cell suffers. Instead of carrying clean oxygen, they carry smoke infected oxygen to every organ, every cell, tissue, etc. We need to do a much better job at educating our young people on the dangers of weed and any drug. We need to do a better job at it at home, at school at church.

    We need to see to it that the young people have a goal in life. If we fail in this, then we cannot complain when they fall or fail later on.

    What I did with Lenny is what I do with all young persons who come to me for help. First, I teach them to settle down through the Transcendental Meditation Technique, then I help them to take a look at their goals in life and if they do not have one, help them to see ahead of them and formulate one. When any individual has a goal to live for, it becomes much more difficult to make mistakes that prepares them for failure.

    He also had short attention span and memory problems. After just about a week or so working with him, his attention span improved wonderfully and his memory also.

    I am very proud of his success and more needs to be done for the young people to prepare them for the role they will be playing in the very near future as the then adults of the day. We will deal with the problems of the girls and ladies in another article.

    This has pulled many young persons out of the rut that they found themselves in previously, because a young person without a goal is a potential drifter, like a dried leaf drifting with the wind.

    I would like some comments on this, as this is a very present and collective problem and the society needs to look seriously at it and learn how to deal with it.
    Persons needing help may contact me at 316 9765 or [email protected]

  7. Anonymous
    June 17, 2013

    What happened to the prostate cancer? It is gone?

    • June 17, 2013

      Anonymous, I confirmed with Lenny. The cancer is still there, but the back pain is gone and he is no longer depressed.

  8. Anonymous
    June 17, 2013

    What is the macho thing..I do not think that is the right word for what you describe…. but the general sense of the article is good and causes reflection about the role of men to the emotional health of their families and themselves.

    • June 17, 2013

      @Anonymous June 17, 2013 You asked “What is the “macho” thing. I do not think that is the right word for what you describe”

      I almost questioned that word as well–because at first I pronounced it in patois like “makkoe’ but it is spoken in English–meaning that a “Macho” man is the man who wants to be the “stronghold” of his family as God is the stronghold of Life in us, who are His people

      In other words he wants to be the “man” and not just the “male” who is lazy and can be pushed around in all sorts of directing, by even the children, much more so, for the wife or the woman of the house.

      Respect is not granted it has to be earned, but there are a lot of men of the family who really do not receive the respect which they have earned–that is the greatest pain a man can suffer as the head of the family–and most often he suffers in silence; that is a fact many people do not take heed of.

    • June 19, 2013

      anonymous and Lizavier4Jesus,
      Macho is pronounced match o. It is a Spanish word used in English and French to mean the same thing: the man who is in control. Some men will keep up this attitude even if it is hurting them or others, because anything less means unmanly.

  9. Anonymous
    June 17, 2013

    And what about the prostate cancer?

    • June 20, 2013

      Cancer and all the chronic diseases are based on stress. From stress you get toxins, the body accumulates the toxins and when the body is too acidic, it becomes chronic and it develops into one illness or another according to the weakness of the body. If you remove the stress, the body starts to strengthen itself and you feel some relief. Because of the absence of the stress, the individual’s doctor will find it much easier to treat any illness. We are all born Alkaline, but we die acidic. If we know how to balance ourselves, we live longer and with less illnesses.

      Stress is what keeps people sick. The removal of stress gets the person on the road to recovery.

      When the doctors treat a patient, but the patient continues to create and intensify the illness at the same time by wrong diet and lifestyle, recovery is more difficult. This is what is happening to people right now. They have not learned to release their stresses. This is my expertise. I help people to eliminate their stresses.

      Stress is also created by negative thinking, negative emotions, foul language, wrong actions and intentions. This is because it engages the brain and nervous system in the creation of stress hormones/chemicals etc. which in turn gets assimilated into the body. The body cannot deal with it or absorb it in any useful way, and stores it as toxins. Too much toxins will be stored anywhere!!! in the joints, in the muscles, in the fatty tissues ANYWHERE to keep it from circulating in the bloodstream where it will surely cause quick damage to the heart and brain etc. The more you remove the stresses and toxins, the better off you are, the better you feel and the younger you look etc. Stress actually ages you. When one practices Transcendental Meditation, one experiences very deep rest, the body releases its stresses and all the benefits come from there.

      Right Diet, exercise and lifestyle according to Body Type, and regular follow-up with your medical doctor keeps anyone healthy.

      If you need more personal information, you can email me at [email protected]

  10. Justice and Truth
    June 17, 2013

    Love for God and love for one another – I believe in love and sincere love.

    Our Lord said, “Love God with all your heart and soul and love one another.” He said, “The Second is like it – the First.” One does not go without the other. This means, we cannot love God if we do not love others and vice versa. This will show in our personal and business attitudes. It also shows on what we say and do and comment for Our Lord said: “By their fruits you will know them.” We cannot be happy and expect others to make us happy if we do not generate it to them. For the godly knowledgeable and spiritually enlightened, insincerity is not difficult to detect. Some are blind to this.
    There is no one in the world who could permanently heal as Our Lord Jesus Christ heals. Some of you may know this religious song, “People Need The Lord”. The Chorus is: “People need the Lord…At the end of broken dreams He’s the open door. People need the Lord…When will we realize, that we need to give our hearts to the Lord…’Cause people need the Lord.”
    All God’s created children have consistent recourse to him. Our Lord Jesus Christ said: “I will never forget you My people. I have carved you in the palm of my hand…”
    God is the turely loving and permanent Healer of all our burdens and woes. We must live according to his Commandments. When God is rejected, ignored and caste aside then all sorts of problems set it. Our Lord himself said, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.”
    We will never experience true happiness and peace without God. Our Lord Jesus Christ said: “Come to Me all you who are heavy-ladened and weary and I will give you peace and rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am meek and gentle of heart and you will find rest for your soul.
    There are all sorts of sickness. They are sickness of soul, of heart and mind, emotional and physical sickness.
    Are you sick and in need of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing? Do you know JESUS, the Mighty Healer?
    Matthew 10:35 – Jesus Healing the Sick –
    James 5:14-15 – “Is anyone among you sick? He should summon the presbyters of the church and they should pray over him and anoint him with oil in the Name of the Lord, and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up.”
    Spiritual Dynamite – Bread for the Journey – Happy are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways.
    The following is a prayer for God’s healing.
    The Healer –
    I am the God that healeth thee. I am the Lord your healer. I sent my word and heal your disease, whatever is troubling you.
    I am the God your Healer. You are the God that healeth me. You are the Lord my healer.
    You sent your word and heal my disease and whatever is troubling me. You are the God my Healer. Amen!

  11. Justice and Truth
    June 17, 2013

    True Love –

    This is an excellent article and an interesting one. I am, by no means, criticizing it. However, psychiatrists, psychologists, other healers and healing effects serve a certain purpose in the world but they are not usually permanent. How many will lead their patients to the One and Only True God?
    The article should be an eye-opener for those who follow their own ways, the “ME” only; not loving others as they love themselves, not cooperating, not compromising and not communicating with one another for the betterment of both and all whom they work and interact with. Humanity is sadly lacking in love.
    I have always stated, with all the love songs that are sung over the airwaves which many of us know even by heart, there is still a lack of love in the world. In fact, it is noticeable, as the world progresses, love, true love is diminishing. Is this not sad? Few people truly love and care for others. Their concentration is on what they can get out of life and out of others which do not project true love and permanently so because “they do not have the godly spirit of love”. We have seen the result of this lack of love, some very sad and fatal ones. To elaborate on this further will take too long.
    True love! Where did all that love go to? True love is never hypocritical and a game of pretence. What has happened to the love which went wrong among married couples? Where did some members of humanity who were babies, innocent ones, children and who attained adulthood go wrong? What were they taught primarily by their parents? What examples did parents project to their children? If taught appropriately, why did they not live according to those godly teachings which offered happiness and peace? Why can they not generate it to others and permanently so? It is something worth contemplating on.
    Our Lord Jesus Christ taught and showed us love and peace. He left us His peace: “My peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled; neither be afraid. Behold! I am with you always even until the end of time.”
    As you can see, something went wrong. People must rectify the flaws that they have created and what which exists in their life which denies them happiness and peace. The answer to this is turn to God whom some members of humanity do not turn to in their time of need when they are faced with life’s problems and burdens, obstacles, struggles, trials and tribulations. He gave us love and peace in the first place and showed us how to establish it in our life, in our homes, towards others and wherever we may traverse. If we practice it, we will surely be happy people and able to generate it to others, especially also) to those who are nearest and dearest to us.

    • June 17, 2013

      @Justice and Truth June 17, 2013

      You said: “This is an excellent article and an interesting one. I am, by no means, criticizing it. However, psychiatrists, psychologists, other healers and healing effects serve a certain purpose in the world but they are not usually permanent. How many will lead their patients to the One and Only True God”?

      Even if you and I do not see eye to eye, but that is only when “religion” is the highlight of the conversation, for me that doesn’t matter–I believe that you and I are in harmony quite some of the time–such as in your passage above and the rest of the things which you spoke here.

      Until we, as human beings, can understand that we cannot do it by our own strength, just as Jesus said about Himself–I can of Myself do nothing–then nothing we do will stand forever, and for the sake of Life in us, which is not of good works but by faith in our God of Life, through His Son, Jesus Christ–who is also His Person of Love.

      If we know that saying of Jesus and we try to understand what He means, He will teach us by the Power of Holy Spirit; and we will discover that there is nothing of the “flesh” that we cannot overcome or conquer.

      In other words we can gradually die to the afflictions of the flesh, and all the other stuff that will feed us with death, as we live in this world but do not belong to it.

      Jesus said to us, through His disciples at John 15: 5-6: “I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned”

      Jesus is talking about both the Spiritual and physical in His saying above; because the Mind is the Battlefield–based on our shape of mind, we can only produce “one of two”-Life or death–Jesus wants the production of Life in us, by our connection to Him through the Power of Holy Spirit.

      This Life in us is His Love, which will renew our Mind and to sanctify, consecrate, or cleanse our flesh so that the Spirit and physical will know the harmony, peace, and joy of Life–yes in this world.

      Yes indeed! God is using us, for we are the physical medium which He needs– but He would have sharpened our Mind first of all, for He also needs that shape of Mind in us, do to His work of the regeneration of Life, which is Salvation and reconciliation to His Love and Holiness, from which we fell through Adam and Eve.

      And so we have to acknowledge that without God in His Person of Love, the Son who is Jesus Christ we can do nothing, or else there is no foundation in our work, it is like the glitter which is not gold–it will not stand, for God says “no flesh shall glory in His presence”.

      God wants us to love Him, and to love each other as we love ourselves. Jesus said if we are doing those two commandments we are doing all of the Law and all the teachings of the prophets–but in our Minds we have to acknowledge that it is God working through us–regardless of our position as we do the service of Love. Blessings

      • Justice and Truth
        June 19, 2013

        If there is one advice I do not need and from one who left the Catholic Church as you, is what I know (should) about God, confidence, trust, hope, strong faith in Him and that He is in control of everything including our lives. I am not unstable, wavering in the faith and tepid/dormant in the faith. I was born into a faith and I continue to remain in it for godly reasons. Throughout the years, God has strengthened my faith and granted me additional knowledgeable in Him and of my faith. My writings should reflect that. Those who are not blind to what is stated and can read should know that.
        Therefore, there is no need for you to waste your God-given precious allotted time to state it – to me of all. Direct this advice elsewhere, where it is needed. Pray to God and ask him to give you the necessary grace and enlightenment to do so. As the saying, “Do not go where the paths lead. Go where there is no path and leave a trail.” St. Paul wrote about “not going where Our Lord Jesus Christ is already proclaimed.” Some have made that grave error and others continue to so.
        A typical example is in Dominica with the influx of different denominational churches which were not needed there. I have not seen or heard about their godly and loving fruits and how they have benefitted Dominican nationals and Dominica in general. Would love to elaborate further on this but not now.
        His Love and Peace is flowing like a river… What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. Love and respect for one another with no exception. We must always speak the truth without watering it down and being hypocritical about it. The truth is not attacking the religion and devotions of others. It is not evangelizing, not spreading love and peace and maintaining it when the faith of others is attacked. Most of all, it is not a mark of love, true love within the heart of those who do so.
        What do you know about love and generating it to others? You have taken it upon yourself not to see eye to eye with me or others. The reason for this is you have attacked my faith and made derogatory remarks about it. This is by no means love, the love that Our Lord Jesus taught us which we are obligated to practice to all.
        It is an offence against God Himself, to attack the religion, faith and devotions of others. Those who do so project an unloving nature. Some people must learn this especially those who go about making statements about what Our Lord said, “Love for one another” and saying that people should love one another when they attack the godly devotions of others. Our actions speak louder than words.
        Love is not something that we turn on and off like a tap, when it suits us and when we want something from others or when we request some help from them. This is not true love. This is also using people for personal reasons and gains. Be not hypocritical about love.
        For instance, God did not give anyone a mandate to lambaste the faith and devotions of others and even to lambaste their failings, their sins. It is discriminating against them and discrimination is a sin, projected lack of love. Furthermore, all those who are well-versed in Holy Scripture fully know that all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. This commenced with ancestors who have predeceased us to the present of those who are alive including those who are their descendants. Some have sinned far worse than others. Who are they to lambaste others for their frailties including those that are not proven true? Only God has the authority to do that and, as God He will never do that. He will look with pity on sinners. Each one is a sinner, one way or the other. I like to say, some worse than others. All sins are not one and the same. People sin in different ways and offend God in different ways. Those sins warrant different punishment for each one will receive their just reward and punishment as they deserve. No doubt about that!
        Those who truly love will respect the rights of others as their right to practice their faith according to their religious teachings. They will also not criticize and lambaste the truth. It is not common courtesy and is also total disrespect for others and their right. If one does not have respect, they cannot have common courtesy and project them.
        Show yourself to be by respecting the faith of others. By this action it will be projected that you do possess true love in your heart. Otherwise, do not speak of love and inform others about it which you are in dire need of.
        Those who have the Spirit of Christ, will project it in all that they do and say.” It is evident in their writings that some of them as you do not project love and peace to all whom they interact with, be it verbally or in writing on this Website. It is attacking and insulting the religious rights and devotions of others to practice their faith and to speak of it in the manner in which they were taught. They are not wrong in doing so. Who are they and what right do these people have to criticize the faith and devotions of others? As God knows, sees and hears all things, in time He will punish those who do for The Holy Spirit scrutinizes all our works, in thoughts, words and deeds for our judgment.
        It is all about throughout Holy Scripture, love for God and love for one another. If we fail to practice it, we have and are committing a grievous/mortal sin, piling them one on top the other. Love covers many aspects. It is not mere words and speaking of it but fully practicing it to everyone with no exception. When we speak and also comment, be it verbally or in writing, we either project that we truly love God and others or we do not. Those who are enlightened are not deceived. God is not deceived. God inspires us to always do good; never, evil/harm to others in anyway.
        Our Lord Jesus Christ said: Matthew 5:48 – “…So be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” “…And they’ll know we are Christians by our love…”
        If we truly love God and others, we will most definitely respect them, their faith and devotions and also not criticize and hate them for practicing their devotions. This is the primary attribute of love for one another.
        Praise be to The Blessed Trinity!

      • June 20, 2013

        @Justice and Truth June 19, 2013

        It is either that you have no reading comprehension, while you are so busy claiming blessings from God, or you continue to remain so conformed to the name of your Church and their religious doctrines, that you cannot look anywhere else, for just a little while –then that is too bad!

        I simply wrote in harmony with your sentiment of “Love”- but I am now discovering that you are one of those who speak with the lips but your heart and mind have nothing to do with what you speak–that makes your ideas pure vanity.

        Sorry, but the thumbs up which you have here is mine, but I have to thumbs down your response to me, you see!

        I hope you are having fun with your emotion of hate, to the point that you cannot even see when someone is on your side–I have no hate for anyone.

        Also, I did not pull away from the Catholic Church, God did not want me in that Church–for He needed me for the work of Evangelism–which is to speak the Gospel to the world, I could not do that in the Roman Catholic Church, since they do not do evangelism.

        I love what God has called me to do–too bad if you cannot accept it. But my voice is on the Internet preaching about God, I know that He is guiding those whom He wants to hear about Him and His Love–which is Life in the soul, He is doing that through me.

  12. Justice and Truth
    June 17, 2013

    Please keep this article “DAD” on for a while. Some readers may like to post their comments.

    DNO you must be busy. Have you moderated all the writings for the weekend?

  13. Observer
    June 17, 2013

    It’s obvious to me that there’s two observers contributing to DNO. I’m a little confused though since sometime ago the other observer decided to change his/her name. Why then are you still carrying the name?

  14. friend from Alaska
    June 17, 2013

    What about the wives that not cooking a piece of food and leaving the children for my partner to take care of?

    • June 18, 2013

      Friend from Alaska,

      When a wife will not cook and take care of the children,there is something wrong and most of the time, it is stress. It might be Post Traumatic Stress of some kind, or just accumulated stress on the Nervous System. Whatever the cause of the stress being there, it can be eliminated through balancing the mind and the body.

      The person must be willing to make the move to help herself too. The regular practice of transcendental Meditation releases the stresses and the person becomes more himself or herself, tolerant, calm, energetic, more loving etc

      Also, this person may need some personal attention from her partner. If the partner also releases his stresses, the relationship will be much more fulfilling. The cause of wrong behaviour is stress. Once people start to understand that and act on it, the relationships will be much more enjoyable.

  15. kay
    June 17, 2013

    Great article Doc. i believe we need more positive comments from the Dominican public. ppl, the rest of the world is reading your comments. let us potray our country as such with intelligent, and caring people. I really dislike the hundreds of comments made when its directed to something negative. Let us grow up as people with sound mind. “ALL 4 EACH AND EACH 4 ALL.”

  16. Justice and Truth
    June 16, 2013

    A Happy Father’s Day to all Dominican fathers wherever you reside. Hope you had an enjoyable Father’s Day.

    A family that prays together stays together. God first + family or God and family. One does not go without the other.

    It is simple which could be broken down into love, respect, understanding, communication and cooperation. These contribute to a happy and loving husband, wife, family and home including a peaceful one.

    Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is peace, sweet peace. Keep the Lord in your heart and in everything you do. Keep your home Christo-centered and you will see and experience what God, the Lord of lords can really do for you.

  17. June 16, 2013

    The Transcendental Meditation Centre is located on 30 McIntyre Lane, Goodwill. The street between the Red Cross or Workshop for the Blind and Lindo Mart.
    Second Building, blue and lilac.
    Tel. 316 9765

    The Maharishi Vedic Health Spa and the Perfect Health Institute is also at the same address.

  18. June 16, 2013

    Happy Fathers’ Day to all fathers in Dominica and the Caribbean.

    In this discussion, let us discuss the things that cause a man to leave the home, wife and children. Sometimes it may not be what people think, but because he often suffers in silence, he takes the blame for many things due to this misunderstanding. instead of blaming and shunning them, if we try to help them realize when they need help and that it is ok to ask for help, the entire society will benefit.
    The ladies suffer too, badly, and we will try to see what can be done to help both parties

    I would like our discussion to bring out to the fore, the things that plague families and break up homes, leaving the children to fend for themselves because the adults are too stressed to take care of them.

    I think that together, we can open a path for healing of inner selves and rebuilding relationships, rebuilding homes.

    If we can do that, we can begin to have both parents, less stressed in the homes again. Next, I will write about the horrors that children go through when parents go their separate ways, and how this contribute the type of society that we have in Dominica today.

  19. BEB
    June 16, 2013

    Where in G-Will is this center? I would like to visit them

  20. aye
    June 16, 2013

    great story

  21. Observer
    June 16, 2013

    Where is the TMC in Goodwill, is there a telephone number?

  22. "O" STRESS"
    June 16, 2013

    Thanks for a great article you have spoken for a lot of us ,men, out there, these are the kinds of lessons that does not get played out in our live these days. But God is good all the time” All the time God is good. Prayers heals every thing. Trust in the Lord and every thing will be alright!!! Happy Fathers Day to all Fathers All over the World.

    • Anonymous
      June 16, 2013

      what about wife that will nut change at all to help there family when we the men are trying our best to make things work. What do we do

      • "O" STRESS"
        June 17, 2013

        Find courage let your voice be heard, the situation plays both ways, no need to suffer in silence put your self out there.

      • June 17, 2013

        To Anonymous.

        It takes two to tango. If the wife is not helping the family, then the man should seek help for himself. There are always two sides to the story, and most of the times when there are problems in a couple, you get to the root of it and all you find is a misunderstanding of one kind or another.

        When people are stressed, all kinds of undesirable things happen. When even one of these two eliminates his or her stresses, the situation calms down. At least one of them must decide to get help, and things should improve from there. The other person will see the difference and want to get help too.

        The main thing is, how to eliminate the stresses in an efficient way? You must know where to find what you are looking for. It does not take months or years to release stress, it can be a few weeks or a few months, or in certain cases it can be immediate or a few days. Get a professional for the job you want done, and the job gets done.
        Don’t manage stress, eliminate it! then you can take care of all situations in your life in a calm and clear-minded way.

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