Twiitter/Dominica News Online purchase; Musk goes on offensive

Actual person after hearing this news

In a shocking bid for complete internet domination, Dominica News Online (DNO) purchased the social media behemoth known as Twiitter.

With the ever-evolving landscape that is the news media, DNO wants to extend its incredible and flawless reporting to all ends of the world beginning with the Caribbean.

Twiitter is not known for being as popular in the Caribbean compared to other social media but DNO remains unperturbed by the facts.

“We are the greatest” is what was reportedly said by someone very high-up in DNO according to one source from a random comment from the supreme and infallible social media.

While DNO does not normally express its own views or opinions in news articles, after a thorough and deep soul searching we have decided to fully let loose our views here. Get ready.

This decision may or may not be in the spirit of irrefutable wisdom signified by entering the second quarter of the year commemorated by April 1st.

We, at DNO, believe this purchase move does not sit right and would leave an undesirable effect in the air, a bad scent – an offensive “musk” if you will.

While no stranger to internet drama, the real Elon Musk – the owner of actual Twitter (now X) – shockingly had nothing to remark, possibly because we did not contact him.

In a piece of immaculate investigative journalism, DNO was able to find Noe EtAll (an internet expert) who had this to say about Elon’s loud silence on the matter “He is probably busy designing his newest eye-on man armor or concocting his latest plan to thwart agent double 0H seven.” He then added, “By the way, ‘Twiitter’ isn’t real you made that up.”

When confronted on his self-proclaimed credentials, Noe EtAll declined further comment. He then changed his mind and said “I know you are but what am I?” This, after commenting on our “lack of professionalism”.


Mandatory legal disclaimers:
1. If you are offended by any of the material in this “article” then know that we are in no way affiliated with the author.
2. If you are pleased with this satirical content then we legally have the right to claim all the credit, also let us know about it.
3. This disclaimer is totally legit.

*Editor’s note* If you are somehow still not convinced, this is an April fools post.

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  1. Listen Up
    April 2, 2024

    DNO got jokes!!! They could have saved readers some valuable time by instead featuring a headline that reads: Skerrit to Resign Effective Immediately…Additional Details forthcoming.”

    Now that would have definitely been a more dramatic and effective April Fools joke!!!

  2. Francisco Etienne-Dods Telemaque
    April 1, 2024

    1 almost believe that as much as I believed Roosevelt resign and install Henderson as prime minister:

    What I do believe is a Dominican from the North, (Wesley) in Barbados exposing a series of apartments in Barbados owned by a certain Dominica prime minister accommodating Ross University School of Medicine Students!

    So, it would appear that SOB, allowed Ross to leave Dominica, to go to Barbados, so that he could accommodate the students with apartments.

    Mia and Roosevelt should be in jail!
    We remember Roosevelt said he contracted a Barbadian company to build four thousand houses in Dominica; we know that the Barbados, the same contractors contractors are the one who build the houses and apartments in Barbados to accommodate the Ross students.
    When will the stupid eyes of our people open, to Roosevelt corruption; when with see the political thievery taking place in Dominica?

  3. Garcon
    April 1, 2024

    I don’t see anyone be fooled by this. First there is nothing called Twiitter and secondly, Twitter no longer exist. Condi gwan maman mwen DNO pani lapo bondas yo, yo sa ganyé gros company.

  4. Roger Burnett
    April 1, 2024

    This is a classic DNO and worthy to rank alongside other media April Fools’ of the past.

    Sixty years ago, the BBC TV current affairs program Panorama, did an April 1st feature on spaghetti harvesting. It showed the crop growing on trees and being cut down with garden shears.

    Many viewers were taken in – just as I was at first glance of your news release.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 2
  5. Bwa-Banday
    April 1, 2024

    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: April Fools :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1
  6. Labour power
    April 1, 2024

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to UWP and all their supporters.A special happy birthday to Lennox Linton,Thompson Fontaine,Edison James,Bwa- Banday,MEME,Juanita and Francisco DOGG.Wish you all many,many more.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 0 Thumb down 8
    • Bwa-Banday
      April 3, 2024

      :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: Thank you brother LP! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

      Just remember it takes one to know one. Quintilin the great philosopher once said this about you LP.;”Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.” I sincerely wish you make a speedy and full recovery from the dreaded disease “dotishitist”.

  7. Breathe
    April 1, 2024

    April Fool!!!!!! Thanks for the laughter! :-D :-D :-D :-D

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  8. Ibo France
    April 1, 2024

    Not funny in the least! The level of journalism and the standard of living in Dominica are too seriously diminished for April Fools’ Day jokes.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 14
    • Bwa-Banday
      April 2, 2024

      Lighten up my bro :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: ….a little laughter can be very good for the soul plus it’s a temporary stress reliever :mrgreen: .

  9. Daryl
    April 1, 2024

    Nice April fools joke

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

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